The Happiest Thanksgiving of my Life...

I got busy very early this morning going from one room to the other of the house. I'm so used to having the house impeccable because if something gets messy or dirty I just clean it right away and not allow things to lay around, but I just had a hurricane that came by and stayed for a little while to make our house feel more like a home full of Life Love and Laughter than I've had in a long time.

The moment my husband walked out the door to go to work I did a couple of things and everywhere I looked around I would see something else that needed to be done, whether it was washing or drying, changing beds or cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming or dusting it's gotta get done before my husband comes back home at 2:30 pm. or I would feel bad that I just sat around writing and listening to music, or relaxing in the tub after he helped me pull off the Happiest Thanksgiving of our Lives...

I stood in the middle of the living room and saw the mess, assessed the time it will take me to put the house back and my eyes landed on the picture in the silver frame.

At that moment I started to feel the emotions with even more intensity than I was at the moment that picture was being taken. I remember I was trying to make Sinatra feel comfortable on my lap and smile at the same time :)

So instead of going back to tidying up I decided to let my heart pour all of its emotions out while they are still so latent inside me.

I was telling my lovely daughter and her handsome boyfriend that this picture reminded me of the vision I had of the future outcome of my life when I was just a little girl and that picture that I visualized in my thoughts and my dreams was now sitting on my little coffee table that I ran to buy just before they came to brighten our house with their Love, young vibrant energy, laughter, lightness, success, union as siblings and significant others and lets not forget the happiness those two beautiful puppies bring every time they are around. I cannot even wrap my heart around what it will be like when there are little feet running around making a mess in my yard and helping me plant vegetables and fruits, watching them grow. Then coming back in the house as we sit in front of the fireplace while I read them stories just like I did to my children when they were growing up.

I made a conscious effort to be present in every moment not trying to orchestrate everything but rather allowing it to flow and it did in the best way possible. I watched my children having fun and a strong unity and everyone in the room got that much closer. It brought back memories of what it felt like to be a family sitting around the table and just having fun being with those who know us and can still love us with all our flaws and value our strengths.

I remember dreaming of these moments when I was younger, but even in my wildest dreams couldn't have imagined the stories contained inside the silver frame and the image of a life of ups and downs, highs and lows, strengths and weaknesses, walking paths, crossing rivers and climbing mountains and landing back on my sofa in front of the fire. Back after a long road of our intense fight for inward growth.

We ate healthy food, laughed till our bellies hurt, saw pictures, told stories and got to know each other better at a deeper level, listened to music, played table games, did fun crafts, even got to briefly travel across the border to beautiful Vancouver for the day.

I feel very lucky that my daughter loves to take photographs as much as I do because I didn't take one single one, I made it my purpose to be present in the moment at every moment and I notice that when I want to capture the moment through my camera I distract myself from the moment somehow to capture something for later and I didn't want that to happen when my children were around, I wanted to drink in all the emotions that my heart was feeling after such a long road to land them back together with me on my couch sharing each other's hopes, dreams, passions and present realities.

When my son and his lovely fiance came to pick up my daughter and her boyfriend they both handed me two beautiful gift bags, I couldn't have imagined what would be inside but I knew it had to be something where there was a lot of heart involved because that's how my daughter is, always so thoughtful with everyone trying to get them what she knows will bring them joy so I opened them just like I remember opening presents on my birthday or holiday when I was little child, with excited anticipation and I wasn't wrong.

There was that photo that would inspire me to write this post with tears of joy in my eyes, same tears I allowed myself to share with them at a moment of need to express all of those emotions that we hold inside for so long that one day like this they just come out without control. There were other pictures just as wonderful each one with a different message, memory and emotion that gets stirred inside.

There was also a card, I opened that first actually and read the sentiments both wrote to myself and my wonderful husband and they made me melt.

There was a packet of ladybug stickers, no doubt my daughter knows what I like, they also went around looking for the Kinder eggs with toys inside because they know how much I love miniatures and how much of a child I am.  We all had fun opening them up and putting them together, we were laughing so much at the fact that it all started with the purple whale I have in my tub that my stepson and husband got me and here it was a Kinder Egg from Canada with another miniature whale in the egg I got, what were the chances of that?

All of a sudden I saw the roles being reversed, I used to be the one giving them toys now she goes around looking for those she knows I will love and she's always right.

As I stood this morning in the living room deciding whether to clean up and put things away or write I looked up to the ceiling where a beautiful hummingbird alebrije that we bought in Ciudad Juárez to represent the presence of my mom in my house hangs. My husband hung it with a thin transparent string from a sprinkler that is right in the middle of the room so it looks as if it's flying. My eyes landed on it as I was admiring the picture on my table and I felt my mom's presence sending me her blessings and reminding me what being a mother is really all about.

My heart filled with so much gratitude that I just needed to sit down and let all the emotions pour out into my words so they don't get lost in memories that become distant and eventually fade out or get forgotten in our busy lives.

I love all the stories that go behind every one of those smiles in the picture in the silver frame because they all make us who we are and because it brings us back to the times when we were a family living under one roof with the same common goals and dreams.

My daughter's boyfriend also handed me a bag with a beautiful shawl that I loved. I wanted to slip it on right away so they could see how perfect those are for me, I learned that when he bought it since he didn't even know me at the time he just went with his intuition of what I might like. Once here he saw how it's mostly shawls that I wear because they are the best for me at this time and I didn't have anything like the one he gave me. As I was rushing to put it on I took care of taking off the tag that was being held by a tiny safety pin. I always keep the tags until I have a chance to look at them, I like to know about the clothes I use to wrap my body around. I left the tag sitting on top of my desk without looking at it and slipped the shawl on. We all said how great it was and I kept it on till I went to turn in for the night.

Right now as I was writing this post the tag was slipping down from where I had left it on top of my sewing project that was on a slant. I saw it slipping off the periphery of my eyes and turned to catch it so it wouldn't fall to the ground and I'd have to bend down and my eyes landed on the only word printed on that small cream cardboard label inside a dark brown triangle. All it said was 'dreamers'.

That's me I thought, it was a very strong confirmation of the purpose of dreams that if our hearts hold on to a dream it's for a reason, they are here to be fulfilled otherwise they wouldn't exist and if we really believe and walk in their direction one day they will turn into "The Happiest Thanksgiving of Your Life"...

With so much Gratitude to everything that was which makes everything that is a Reality!...

@nit@

"Follow The Yellow Brick Road"...

I was thinking what to write about this morning, for me to write there has to be an idea first, a theme if you will, what point do I want to bring across. Sometimes the ideas flow and other times like today I can't think of a thing. So first I thought what makes me happy, thinking of those I love and knowing that my relationship with them is flourishing and when it doesn't, to be able to give them the space they need without judgement or resentment.

When I thought of that the first thing I did was go to send an e-mail to someone I hurt with no ill intention. It was important to me to do that before moving on with my day. Then I thought of what would I like to happen next in my experience, I'm happy with our home and our surroundings at least till the end of the lease, I love our apartment its just that I see a house in our ultimate experience so I just wonder when that will come. I always love that feeling of expectation you get when you know you are going to get something, somehow, someday and you begin to wonder what? how? when?

It was difficult for me to understand what everyone meant about you creating your own reality, if you see it from the perspective that everyone wants to be happy, peaceful, in harmony with all there is wouldn't it make sense that we would all seek to find what makes us feel that way instead of finding what doesn't make us feel well?

You see why I call myself "Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World?" because I just don't get it, why do we do that? I used to do that too but for the life of me I have no idea why I did it, it's like once I stopped doing that it was the feeling that I imagine you get when you jump off a cliff thousands of feet up in the air with these flappy wings someone said let's go fly and you just decided to trust this person although you have never felt that much fear in your whole existence, you probably say I really am bored with this life, if this this is the way it's going to be for the next 40 or 50 years I think I have ahead of me to enjoy I would rather not stay alive...

So you look down and you say OMG OMG and you feel this angel pushing you in the back while at the same time you feel another one in front of you guiding you to the left, other a bit down, they're all over the place. You feel them with your trust in knowing that your job here is not yet complete and that you will find that reason to be alive because you found the reason for you to be here and now you want to be all that you came here to be.

Life becomes exciting when you find out it is you who is orchestrating your own future while on this realm, when you find out why you are here all you want to do is have all the resources you need.

I find a lot of excitement in living my life with that understanding because it makes it so clear to me what will manifest into my reality according to my thoughts, feelings and actions and once I understood that I realized that the better I feel the more I receive so eventually it became a habit to me to live in the moment, to be at peace and accept everything as is, not to resist and to take one more step every day in the direction of my dreams. And while doing all this your excitement increases every day because you know that at any moment you will manifest into your reality that which you've been expecting.

You don't know how it will come, when, from where or from whom but you better believe that it will be a part of your reality you just have to "Follow The Yellow Brick Road"...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Age is But a Number...

I've spoken about this before, I've said it my whole life and I will continue to believe it till the day I die and you can quote ME! "Age is But a Number, and I was never very good at Math!" ~ @nit@

I know our bodies age, but that's just our vehicle, of course every vehicle when it's being used it takes its toll on all the pieces and parts, it starts to fail and eventually it gives up, but that's not us, it's just the vehicle we are riding on during this Adventure.

If you look around my house you see evidence that a child lives here. There are coloring books and many different colored pencils, gel pens, markers, school supplies, binders, markers, staplers, glue sticks and glue guns, crafts all over, from jewelry making to sewing kits, scrapbook albums, shrink a dink. Two of the items on my 'Bucket List' is to get a Doll House and furnish it entirely with miniatures including working lights and the other is to build a House on a large tree in my backyard so that I can go up there with my grandchildren to read them stories and play board games every day.

The other day my husband comes home with a little gift for me. It was one of those Kinder chocolate eggs with a prize inside. He knows I love those little miniatures. It turned out to be a tiny adorable purple whale. the body is hard plastic but right on her belly there is a part that is soft. You squeeze that part while submerging the little whale in water and it squirts from the top like a real whale does. I found it to be so adorable that I take it with me to my daily tub and play with it every time I get in the water.

Yes maybe with the passing of time we get exposed to many things that forces us to adjust our childish desires and chips at our innocence, but inside we are still children trying to live this life with the same joy and curiosity as we did when we first started.

And since "Age is But a Number, and I was never very good at Math!" it's time to go in the tub  to relax, meditate and play with my purple whale.

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

I Should Have Danced one Last Dance...

I don't remember when was the last time I danced with my father. My relationship with my dad went through many different stages only to end up the way it started.

I remember very well the image I had of my dad when I was a little girl and the reason I remember it so well is because when that image changed it was never the same again. I loved my dad, he was my hero, he was smart and sharp, charming, charismatic, upbeat, he spoke several languages including difficult ones like Yiddish and French. He was very talented, artistic and most of all he didn't seem shy. He acted in Community Plays and many times had the lead role, he was friends with Abraham Zabludowsky  because they went to school together and knew other celebrities as well. I remember he was a Mason, I never knew what that was because he kept it all secret, so he knew how to keep secrets that was honorable to me.

His father, my dear dear Seide Eli was always sick, he had Burgers Disease, a disease of the blood that when he would get a cut the area could become gangrened and he lost several parts of his body to it, like the pinky on one hand and part of his leg from the knee down, my brother and I used to fight for who was going to sit on his half leg in the back seat of the car. To us it was fun, we didn't think anything of it because we grew up around that. But to my dad it changed the way he handled his life. He gave up going to Medical School after only a year because he had to take care of his parents. They had a small canning company that canned all types of chiles like serrano, jalapeño,  chipotle, vegetables like carrots, etc. The factory was right next to their beautiful house in the Lindavista neighborhood of Mexico City.

But it goes way back, my grandpa also had a huge potential, he was born in Alexandria, Egypt where his father was opening a new Synagogue. He was a religious man opening synagogues around the world. He took some of his children with him to Mexico to open one there. My Seide became a chemist, very profitable and comfortable path ahead of him but when you are sick nothing you plan works out the way you thought it would and in the end that's what happened, Seide Eli didn't make it the way he planned and neither did my dad. Their intentions were good but their circumstances were not.

I always thought my dad could have been very successful in the entertainment industry because he had the potential and the talent and most of all because he seemed to love it so much, he certainly had much more personality than some of the personalities that have succeeded and he had the desire and the drive, but he gave up on the dream.

I remember dancing with him all the time at parties, he was the Master of Ceremonies at most of the events of the Mexican Jewish Community and outside of it sometimes. I remember every weekend he would get all dressed up with a Tuxedo, he had a couple, he looked sharp and even his demeanor changed. He was happy to go to his parties to help liven them up and he helped himself as well bringing that extra money home. I'm sure there must have been MANY a times when he didn't want to go and spend all of his free time working to make others happy, but I never saw that in his face or his actions.

Outside of that he was a good salesman, he made a living certainly, we always had all we needed but he never got to where he wanted. Our lives were comfortable with the basics never luxuries.

Many things happened throughout the years with me and my dad. As the years went on so did the disenchantment from the man who once was my hero. He became more and more dependent on me and my mom,  it was always I who had to make the efforts to have closeness, to invite them, to make sure they were fine. We never really discussed his economy or his decisions and yet at the end it was I who handled his account till the day he died.

I was very lucky and grateful that my brother took over his well being in the last years of his life. He had to work that much harder to keep him in a place where he knew they would take care of him till the end with dignity. All the nurses and caretakers in that place loved Mr. Monty, he was still the same charmer and best dancer of the bunch. They all took turns dancing with him. I on the other hand, was unable to care for him or even see him again once I moved back to the United States to be near my children I had to work my way back and couldn't return before he died.

I'm happy that I was able to forgive, understand and stop judging his flaws, weaknesses, his inability to show love, that he stopped believing in himself and gave up on his dreams.

I was lucky to develop a stronger and more loving relationship with him towards the end of his life and thanked him for all he did for me while I was growing up. I have him to thank for my love of the arts.

At the end I learned to enjoy very much doing anything that I knew would bring him happiness. But I will always regret not being able to hug him one last time.

I Should Have Danced One Last Dance with my Dad...

RIP at last Dad, I Love You Very Much!!!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

"Honesty!!! It's such a Lonely Word"...

I think that the main challenge with relationship to honesty is that we all tend to give it a different meaning or view it from a slightly different angle. Perhaps we all do that as a mechanism of defense in a way or to justify something that we may think, do or say that is not 100% truthful and therefore dishonest. I've said this before and I'll repeat it many times, now that I understand it I realize that "Honesty is like Pregnancy, you either are, or you aren't."

Now if what we want is to lie on purpose to cover up something that needs to stay covered or even to be kind to others that's not what I am talking about. I believe we can always justify a little white lie when we know that can ease someone's anxiety or help someone's self esteem.  As with every rule there are valid exceptions.

Let's start with ourselves. I've always been very good at lying to myself or at the very least justifying my thoughts, feelings, actions or lack of them and now that it has become very clear that it was like a habit to do that I am very conscious of never doing it again. It is such a waste of time to be dishonest with oneself, it makes your job at finding harmony and something to be grateful for in your life an uphill battle. When you're open with yourself to the truth of who you have become, that's when you can tweak your thoughts, when you can guide them to stay positive, focused on your goals and dreams and stop using excuses of why your life is not going in the direction you want.

I'll use the example of my childhood, I won't go into details, they will come out some other time, lets just say that I had so many dreams and like everyone else the ability to fulfill them, now I can see that but then I used every excuse in the book to blame everyone else for my failure to pursue those dreams, whatever was happening in my life was the culprit, I must have wanted the perfect conditions to make decisions or moves and since my conditions were never perfect, there were always strong difficult challenges in my family I decided the challenges were at fault not I.

I obviously lied to myself and justified my lies because I was told that's how it was, that's all I saw growing up in a family with major challenges. It wasn't until I was in my 50s and left completely alone to stir my own ship and see what I was capable of doing that I realized if I had not blamed anything or anyone 50 yrs. ago when I had strength, youth, stamina, concentration, talents, by now I would be unstoppable, but I didn't do that I lied to myself so I didn't have to put in the effort perhaps? because I didn't feel capable? so why do I feel capable now? I'm the same me now I was then only now I'm almost 65 and just noticed that nobody and no situation I experienced were guilty of me not fulfilling my dreams then, it was that I wasn't being Honest with Myself. Now I am!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

When Opportunity Comes Knocking at Your Door...

Its later today, 6:52 am, indicating the Angels are here with me. I wrote about that once, 52 is the number I encounter all the time without me looking for it, now after all these years of seeing it its become more expected I suppose but I notice it appears either when I'm uncertain about a decision and I'm asking for clarity or when I've done something that makes me feel proud and grow. Those are for the most part the two instances when I see it. Today is definitely a 52 kind of a day for me. I swear that if I didn't experience it myself I wouldn't believe it but it is so true that lessons do come to you many times over until you've managed to make the right decisions. I'll tell you a story that illustrates this, something I'm living in this very moment that also happened to me when I was 23 yrs. old, newlywed with a broken English a husband still in Medical School and moving to Chicago from Mexico City where all we had there was Poppo.

This was in 1979. To make a very long story with the end result (the punchline) being the total opposite of what my new husband and I expected to get. We went there to be with Poppo he was my husband's dad and an amazing guy to the end of his days RIP I miss him terribly. They had seen each other over the years but not lived together since he was six. We both loved him so much and were so hungry to be a part of a family that neither of us felt we had in our parents at home for different reasons.

So we took all we had and moved there with so much enthusiasm and enormous dreams, we climbed and climbed and climbed the ladder but we were never able to have that family that we dreamt of creating and you want to know why? because there was a Wicked Stepmother in the Picture. I forgave her because I didn't really want to waste any time thinking about her but then one day I was put in the very same position that we put her then.

If you think I ever thought that one day I would be divorced you're crazy not me, not my ex and I we were like two peas in a pod, we called each other half of a sphere; but when you come from a broken home I don't think you can truly learn how to love unconditionally. Poppo was great but he was weak, he lived in the past and was always devoted to a wife who never wanted to promote for him to have a real love unconditional relationship with his son. So our attempt to become a part of that family was never to be.

Now I'm the Stepmom, now I'm totally on the other side of the coin, I'm still wearing my other shoes, those of the victim of the Stepmom's decision. That decision she made then I believe affected the outcome of not only mine and my ex-husband's life, but the lives of my children and so on and so forth. But did I learn the lesson well enough so now that I'm on the reverse of the coin I can help my husband and his son who is about to move here with us. In the US for the first time in his life, hardly any English and he is 19. Am I strong enough to give up my routine, my lifestyle, or even where I find my dishes?

I did think about it I wanted to be clear and honest with myself and I believe that I did learn enough to be on the giving seat this time, maybe Poppo whom I adored and spoke to all the way to his deathbed not that long ago RIP I always thought of him as my dad and he thought of me as his daughter in law, yet the day he died my name never appeared on any obituary and his now old and ailing wife meant well, they just didn't have it in themselves to be any different, I understand it wasn't personal but it was hurtful to us then, she made it very clear to us she didn't want us around.

I'm very grateful for the opportunity I've been given to be on this side so that I can try to be instrumental in creating a loving family and watching it grow always surrounded by love and possibilities. You never know what life may bring, here is a new son, new beginnings, but what I do know is that I am grateful for the lesson Poppo and his wife gave me they showed me what decisions to make when "Opportunity Comes Knocking at My Door".

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Buenos Aires for My Birthday...

Good Morning World, Good Morning Universe,...

It's funny what happens to me every morning, at first it takes me a while to just kick into gear, then once I'm on a roll I have to stop everything and take my husband to work if I want to keep the car for the day, I always hesitate about taking him all the way downtown and back it's about an hour round trip, but then I remember that once I put on those shoes and say yes I will have an adventure on the way there and another one on the way back. I will have felt so many emotions it will be worth hundreds of hours of therapy all wrapped up in just one hour of pure bliss, half of it in the company of my wonderful husband and the other half in my own wonderful company, I mean can you think of a better place to be than with yourself? or are you still working on that part, not quite sure what to make of yourself, one day you like yourself the other you hate yourself and there you are all the time you can't get rid of you!

So we're just about to get on the Freeway on our way to Downtown Seattle and it hits me all of a sudden, here we are only 3 yrs. in the USA only 3 yrs. as a married couple and we've accomplished the work that would have taken us ten years at a normal pace. We just do the intense courses and move up another step. So I said to my husband "Everything we planned for so far we got so I'm planning my next birthday. We are going to Buenos Aires to meet the Family" I declared.

Three years ago no matter how many times I repeated to him that we were going to get something, I always had to show him first and then I had to remind him I said so, he'd claim I was lucky, and I'd say it has nothing to do with luck don't you get it?

Today when I told him we were going to be spending my 65th Birthday in Buenos Aires being loved and cared for by the family I have and haven't even met? he knew we'd be there, he just said well I'll have to ask for vacation again, as if giving it a tone of a maybe, but I'm never a maybe he knows that so he said good we'll have to plan then.

And I bet you my daughter will tag along, maybe invite a friend, it's an awesome trip I'm sure they won't wanna miss it. I plan on having a 'Wedding Party' since we got married all by ourselves, I told this story before, we even had to pay a witness $14 to sign and then we went to a popular Pancake House for breakfast and a walk by the beach holding hands.

From today until January 24th, 2017 I will do one little thing every day to promote that trip not only takes place but it will be one to remember, there are important people I can't wait to see and hug again and others I'm so anxious to hug for the first time. I can't wait...Buenos Aires We'll Be There for My Birthday...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

The Day I Became Happy!!!...

For sure you don't think I'm going to be a spoiler and give you the punch line right from the start, first you have to come with me to find out why I had to become happy or why I wasn't till that day came.

I used to know this sociopath who curiously taught me two important things, a wise person said it to him years back and like all he did he would repeat things other's said, he had no personality of his own. "Siempre Hay un Día Cierto" he would say ALL the time. If we translate that literally it doesn't make much sense... but what it's saying is "The Day You've been Waiting for Always Comes". The other thing he would repeat was "No Pasa Nada!" and what that means is "Don't Worry about Anything, Nothing Will Happen" and the funny thing is that although he would say it all the time if anything that he perceived to be bad happened to him he would fall apart, he would say it so much around me that I started saying it too but what started happening to me was that I started realizing that the words took on a huge role in how I started to perceive my life. 

I don't really remember well how my mind worked before I could perceive my life the way I do now. I do remember however always living in a cloud of doubt, or sometimes it changed into one of fear with little rays of sun seeping through the clouds, then there was rain and thunder and back to sunshine for a while.

I don't know when the change started to occur within me, I think it started the day I perceived that I had lost everything that was important to me and I came to the realization that I could never get it back the way it was. I remember the internal turmoil I had but at the same time I also remember feeling a sense of relief.

I felt relief because there I was still standing and even though my life seemed to be crumbling down right before my eyes, I was still standing. I woke up one day and started to check all the parts in me. I made a mental list of all my parts and wrote a checklist in my mind. 

The first part was my body, is it still there? Yup, checkmark, still there intact. Same little pain here and there that I had before but otherwise still intact.

Then I went to the mind and checked there, what types of thoughts did I have, was I depressed? suicidal? on the contrary, I had this sense of sadness but relief at the same time, why? what did I need relief from I thought? oh yeah, my fears that's what. I remember living my whole life with fearful thoughts about something, it didn't much matter what the "Fear du Jour" was, but it was always something. And so imagine how it feels when you check your mind at the moment when you realize that all that I was always afraid of happening happened all at once and there I was still standing. I didn't have anything to be afraid of anymore, it all happened, now what, was I going to invent another reason to be afraid or get up and start living without fear and see what happens then?

And while I was in there checking my mind I also realized that all those dreams that I had once put on hold to create the life I thought I wanted only to lose it and never get it back, those dreams had not gone away after all those years, they were still alive and waiting on the sidelines for me to realize that my purpose in life was to fulfill them. If not why were they still there waiting and why did they show up right now when my abilities to make them happen are at an all time low. Why didn't they show up when I was rich and had my own house and grew my own food, why didn't they appear then or why did I shove them to the side rather, cause apparently they never left me. 

So my mind not only was there, now it was excited and making a lot more sense than it did when I had it all covered with fear clouds.

So once I checked the body and the mind I had to go to the most important part, the heart and that's when I felt a sense of what my purpose was and seeing that didn't have anything else to lose I went out to find out who I was and what I was capable of doing to fulfill all those dreams that had been patiently waiting on the sidelines while I thought I was "Making Life Happen On Purpose" when in reality it was the total opposite.

In the final equation my life scores were as follows:

A-   Body - A little out of shape but tending to that with the right tools this time

A+  Mind - "Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World!"

A+  Heart - Yup, still there, beating hard and filled with dreams and gratitude!!!

A+  Goals and Dreams - Checking things off my "Bucket List" all the time!

A+  Fear - Dead and Cremated

Of course my life isn't as perfect as the scores claim that it is, what's perfect is that "The Days I've Been Waiting For Always Come" and I don't worry about anything anymore, now I love the clouds as much as I love the sun and I learned to be Grateful about my "Life Adventure". 

I wake up every day excited wondering what it will bring to me. 

It's a process taking full responsibility for all your thoughts, feelings and actions, acceptance of what life brings your way and a change of perception and attitude towards life. That's "The Day I Became Happy!"

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

It's Graduation Day...

At first you're an infant and graduate from being at home with mostly your immediate family who catered to your every single need and your exposure to another little baby here and there to a Pre-school with teachers, classrooms, structures, tasks, where learning starts as a game, at that age it feels like you've crossed over from the mostly unconscious baby world to the 'Real World', you're feeling more confident, challenged, anxious, even stressed with all these new things you're learning, more so nowadays with technology, but even in my days of play-dough, songs, musical instruments, coloring books, dolls, monkey bars, swings and sandboxes I still remember it was of enormous impact, almost like an awakening to our huge potential as human beings.

Throughout the years we keep on graduating celebrating landmarks of knowledge and independence, the more we graduate the more our responsibilities grow for the things we chose to learn so that we can become self sufficient, productive and can create our very own Micro Universe.

We have these ideas that our lives are going to turn out a certain way, I think we get these ideas from things we experience or witness others experience and we walk in that direction but we never really know what we will find on our way there.

I stopped counting my graduations a long time ago, I celebrate my growth with appreciation but this Friday my husband and I have a huge "Graduation Celebration".

We will be moving from what we called our dorm (a small studio apartment with a gorgeous unobstructed view of Mount Rainier and Lake Washington) to a two bedroom two bathroom apartment. I want to spell out bedroom because it seems like such a long time since we've had one.

Our trajectory at this late stage in our lives has been intense and amazing, going from coming back to the US after being gone for years, taking on jobs that we had never done or considered doing before even in our youth, renting a room in someone's apartment, then at a long term hotel with a microwave for a kitchen, to a larger hotel room with a kitchenette, to this gorgeous Studio apartment and now this Friday we are moving to a two bedroom that even has a little backyard with deck, grass and plants.

I understand now that what it takes to get what you want is to keep on walking in the direction of your dreams with gratitude and conviction until once again you can Celebrate Graduation Day!...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Any Time, Any Place, Any Circumstances, Any Age...

I have the best examples that show how The Universe has always worked for me. This first story I'll share happened perhaps over 10 yrs. ago, not exactly sure of the timeline but give or take a year. The scenario starts way before that with a dream or rather a role in a movie. I learned how to manifest through the movies, but that's a whole other story for another time.

It started in August of 1987 when I went to see "Dirty Dancing" for the first time. I'm not surprised I loved it so much since so many others did as well, all for different reasons I'm sure but it has many things in it that makes it so likable. The old fashion values, the lifestyles, the change in the lives of the Dancers, the coming of Age, the scenario and the simpler times when we had fun as a family each with our own diversions and entertainment. It created continuity, going back to the same places year after year to find the same smiling faces who were happy to see you. Kind of like "Cheers". 

As for me I fell in Love with all of that plus I had all these unfulfilled dreams and my life was already more than half way. Would I ever accomplish that at this later stage of my life? I certainly didn't think I would to tell you the truth. There were more reasons for me to believe at that stage that it was never going to happen, than reasons to show me that it was still possible.

I watched it many times over the years, I'm good at placing myself emotionally while watching movies as if I was the protagonist of the stories I like and maybe that's one of the reasons that helps me manifest movies in such a similar pattern even at totally different stages of my life and with the least of possibilities to make it happen.

The years passed and I raised two wonderful children and one day they each went their way and I was left to be with myself perhaps for the first time in my life. My ex-husband and I parted ways and I found myself with the doors of manifestation wide open, NO MORE EXCUSES!!! Oh No!!!What Now??? I asked myself, are you all talk or do you really believe you can accomplish as many dreams as possible or will you never find out what it could have been like?

I was starting my life all over again and didn't know what steps to take, I had never done much of anything on my own, there was always someone around to ask and I felt like my family needed me to help them with something, but I think I was avoiding the feeling that I couldn't really walk my own path whatever that meant.

I pushed myself beyond the limits of my comfort. At first I traveled to Europe alone, I went all over, Amsterdam, Ibiza,  these two cities deserve their very own Blog Entry so we'll leave that for another time. I went to so many places I forget Prague, Florence, Venice, Rome, Sicily, Murano, Pizza, Bologna and many other cities in Italy, London, Banks, other cities in England, Croatia, where I met the family of a young man I was Foster Parent to while he lived in the US with us. Went to many cities in Spain like Barcelona, Madrid, Toledo, to Germany, to tell you the truth I didn't have much money, but somehow I just trusted it would come from somewhere and it always did.

I didn't panic when I got to Prague without a hotel reservation, took a cab to Hotel X that was listed on the Hotel Board at the Airport. Checked-in at 11:30 pm and walked to an Internet Cafe that closed at midnight but forgot to take the name or address of the Hotel I was staying at. I was sure I would find it on my way back I just didn't want the Internet Cafe to close so I could move to a nicer hotel the next day.

I booked myself at the Westin and proceeded to go back to the Hotel Something or Other Green. The word Green was the only thing I remembered. It should have been 15 mins. from the Cafe, that's what it took me to get there, but an hour later at almost 1 am. walking alone on the streets of Prague I realized I was not going to find it that way.

I walked to the nearest open Pizza Parlor and they didn't know where that Hotel was, not around there they said, so I had a slice of Pizza and kept on going. Found a Police Station, they looked in the phone book, but nothing to my surprise. I thought could I be on the Twilight Zone perhaps? Now if you knew me before, this would have sent me into a state of total anxiety, despair perhaps, doubt, fear, anguish, but this time I trusted that everything was exactly what the Adventure needed, something exciting to experience and write about.

I kept on walking, sat on the sidewalk to smoke a cigarette with a street person, he asked me for one and I used to smoke so why not share and take a break, soon it'll be morning you will think of something by then, I thought. I kept on walking after that going down small streets, it was a neighborhood of houses, interesting to see a neighborhood during the wee hours of the morning in a foreign country where I don't even speak the language. It was exciting!

I stumbled into a Pub that was sort of on the Basement of one of the Houses, there was loud music coming from there and a lot of laughter. How could I not go in and see what makes them laugh, I wanted to laugh with them. I had some coffee and the best time laughing at their laughter. I couldn't understand a word they were saying but I understand laughter so I laughed too. And that's when it came to me, "take a cab Anita", I said to myself and ask the driver to take you to the Airport where you found the Hotel you're staying at and then ask him to drive you there and that's what I did. But to my surprise the cab driver knew exactly where the Something or Other Green Hotel was. It was called something else just a week prior, the Green House I believe had just acquired that name so not many knew about it.

He took me there, I rested like a baby and lived an adventure that nobody can take away from me. At that moment I felt like the luckiest and wealthiest woman because I had experienced a sense of no fear and total freedom to live a life of Adventure regardless of the circumstances.

One day I was in Milan I remember like it was yesterday. I went to the ATM to get some cash, was sure there was money there but all I had left were $40 dlls. while in the middle of the streets of Milan. Oh NO!!!! What Now!!!! The only person I could think of was my brother although we don't have a close relationship. He's been managing hotels for many years now.  I sent him an e-mail and he replied to me "If you can get yourself to Cancun you can stay at the Hotel as long as you want".

I had a ticket to go back to San Diego in about a month, so I took a cab to the Milan Airport with the $40 dlls. I had left on my debit account, went to the ticket counter of the Airline that flew to Cancun and asked for help getting there with the ticket I had. At first they said no of course, that's not how it's done, my ticket wasn't even for their Airline, but I must have touched someone's heart as I said to them "Pretend I'm your mom and she's in this situation. Would you want someone to help her get home?" and well that worked cause less than a day later I was being picked up at the Cancun Airport by a van from the 5 Star all Inclusive Resort that my brother used to Manage.

And that's where one of my long time dreams came true. Of course if I'm at a Resort my Brother manages I'm going to get to know everyone, I'm not shy and if I'll be staying there for free for a while I gotta become useful and do something to pay it forward or I won't feel good about it, not to mention get bored out of my skull. So first I go around introducing myself to the whole staff, one by one and I make myself available to help where my help might be needed according to the things I feel I have to offer and they bring me joy in return.

Everyone accepted the help I offered of course, nobody will ever refuse your help when it comes from the Heart. So in the mornings I would go to the pool to have breakfast, relax, exercise and catch some rays, I'd walk on the beach, exercise in the pool, sometimes even got a massage or paint a ceramic piece, and right around 12:30 pm is when my workday would start.

First I'd go the theater to rehearse with the Entertainment Group to participate with them at the nightly shows. Then I'd go straight to the kitchen to help the bakers, the chefs, the cooks, I'd even sweep if I had to. Then I'd go to the room, shower, get some rest, change and then the fun part would start.

Every night the Dining Room would turn into a different Country, we'd decorate and prepare meals from the countries and since I wanted to interact with the Guests too I asked to be placed behind the Grill. I'd grill the meat, poultry, fish, seafood, or whatever it was to be grilled that night and everybody that ate in that dining room and wanted something from the grill gave me the opportunity to serve them with a big smile. It gave my stay there a purpose. Right when dinner ended I'd run to the theater to perform with the Entertainment Group.

They all loved me because they had the perception that I was going to be like my brother, harsh and a fierce leader, instead I felt appreciative that they were letting me in their territory, giving me the tasks I asked for and without even me knowing it I was fulfilling my long time dream.

I had created my very own "Dirty Dancing" scenario and was living the very things I lived every time I watched the movie in my mind and most of all in my heart. I guess I was "Baby at the ripe age of 52" ;) there was even the cute young Italian dancer making passes at me every night under the Moonlight when the Entertainment Group and guests would gather at the beach to dance the night away.

I don't have a clue what life has in store for me but what I do know is that I live in a state of excitement and wonder. Before I would have thought of it as anxiety and worry, but how can I have anxiety about something that doesn't exist or worry when I can see clearly how it is my ability to surrender my control to the Mysteries of the Universe that has showed me time and time again that Amazing things happen at Any Time, Any Place, under Any Circumstances at Any Age.

Here's to you fulfilling your Dreams...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Home Sweet Home....

There are those who are lucky enough to have a place of their own to call home. They manage to purchase the "House of Their Dreams" or maybe a Condominium, a Townhouse or even a Mobil Home. Perhaps they decided that was the perfect place to set roots and they found a way to do it. I've been there several times in my life, I owned homes and Condos and Townhouses but they kept on changing as my life was doing the same.

The last house I owned was supposed to be IT. It's the only one I got attached to emotionally, the one where I raised my kids, where I saw their first steps and watched them grow. Where we celebrated many of their birthdays and cared for a lot of pets who became part of the family too. This was the only house I owned where I decided to plant my own garden and learned to care for it.

We had various types of apple trees, plumbs, bananas, mangoes, guayabas, figs, pomegranates, peaches, apricots, nectarines, cucumbers, berries, melons, watermelons, oranges, lemons, avocados, tomatoes, onions, carrots, cilantro, basil, parsley, chili peppers, beans, grapes, etc. and lets not get started with all the flowers and many types of trees, cactus and evergreens.


I always dreamt of having a stream or any small body of water running next to my house, there was this trench that the previous owner dug so that if and when it rained it wouldn't get flooded, which is not a common occurrence in Southern California, so I had the plan of putting some pipes and filling it with water so as to have my own home made stream but that never to happened. We did build a pool with a waterfall and a little pond so that counted as my body of water.

Another dream I've always had is having what I refer to as a lover's swing, a swing built for two. I did get one as a Mother's Day gift, I remember how much joy I felt when I received it, I had wanted it for so long I was savoring every moment of it, but what I don't remember is using it much for the purpose it was intended, I would often sit on it and swing all by myself and think. My husband was too busy with work and my kids with their lives, their toys, their school, their games, their friends.

The house had a tennis court that doubled as a basketball court, a pool, a trampoline, a Guest Cottage that we finished building and decorating with our own hands and the help of a construction worker. Every corner of that little guest cottage was created with so much love, I thought of our parents when they got old, or our children when they went off to college and came back to visit and hopefully stay for a while. I thought of our grandchildren, how much they were going to love visiting Nana and Poppo. It had it's own kitchen and bathroom and it looked like a suite at the best hotels, not to mention it was in the backyard and all you had to do was step out to be surrounded by everything you could need for entertainment and serenity. I even gave it it's own address 5289. Both my ex-husband and I were born in 1952 and our two children were born in 1989 so it was the most important numbers to me, they represented My Family!


The only dream I never got to fulfill there was having a Tree House. It was going to be where I went up to at first with my children to read them stories, sing songs, do picnics and later on with my grandchildren. We got it started, but we never go to finish it. So that is still in my "Bucket List".

I swore I would never sell that house, I wanted my kids to have a place to call home that brought them all the memories of the wonderful childhood they experienced there, I always wanted to have that as a child and never did so I promised myself I would give that to my children, but that dream was shattered into millions of pieces, just like the windshield of a car after it's been hit head on by a trailer whose lights were blinding me and I was unable to avoid it.

That was 10 years ago, I don't remember how many places I've rented since then, going around the world looking for that dream, the house with the yard and the plants, the room for my guests so that our children and grandchildren have a place to call home whenever they want to come visit or just move in. The stream, the swing, the scents of home cooked meals, the music, children's laughter, the sounds of family and the Tree House so that Nana, the "Born Storyteller" can tell her grandchildren all of those stories that come from a life well lived, a life filled with Passion, Hopes and Dreams and all the memories we'll create together as a Family!

In the meantime we rent here, we rent there, oh the stories I could tell you, we leave them behind to blow with the wind, the same wind that takes us to the next place, until we can finally find the one to call "Home Sweet Home"...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

You Don't Want IT Bad Enough...

I've had the same challenge my whole life, to maintain a low weight and keep up with an exercise program so that I can reap the benefits it brings to the quality of my life. I've managed to develop the discipline it takes to follow through as far as healthy and moderate eating habits as well as a consistent workout programs, but the challenge is that even if I can hold on to the program for a long time, as soon as something creeps up into my life that throws my routine off for whatever reason, or I'm dealing with something, no matter what, that takes most of the energy I have and doesn't leave me with enough to continue my programmed routine.

I've managed to workout and eat healthy and in moderation for years at a time so I'm not sure what makes it so difficult for me to get back on the saddle once I fall off the horse, because life is unpredictable and we do fall off the horse, especially me who still has to conquer the fear of riding one. Oh how I would LOVE to do that!!!! or Would I?...

Years ago just after giving birth to my son I weighed more than I ever did in my entire life, I had no idea how to handle that because I'd never been at that weight before, and even when I had 5 or 10 lbs. to lose at some point I found that to be so hard for me to accomplish. How was I going to lose all this weight?! I thought it was a very long shot...

I had two newborn babies less than a year apart, I was 38 and chunky at best. I wanted to sleep all day but couldn't and when I couldn't sleep those few minutes in between caring for two newborns I wanted to eat to keep myself awake and feeling alive.

I don't remember exactly how long it was but at least for the first two years of their lives I didn't sleep more than 4 hrs. a day with intervals. I got used to staying awake so I would use my time the best possible way but none of it was spent exercising and that I know for a fact.

I thought I wanted that more than anything in my life, the same way I've been thinking I want it right now and yet the results are telling me that I Don't Want It Bad Enough or I'd have it by now!!! Everything I've ever really wanted in my life I've had it so why not this?

I took some time off and just ate, I forgot how happy being trim and healthy makes me feel and I stopped exercising and ate all I wanted long enough to put me at the unhealthiest point of my life. I mean I have it in my hands to change that, all I have to do is what my daughter and my husband say to me, just put the shoes on and go workout. I must not want it bad enough that I find all sorts of excuses not to start again.

Though there are no excuses why I waited this long to pick that habit back up that allows me to match the way I view and think of myself with the way I look and feel on the outside. That's not me I'm looking at the reflection in that mirror, the picture on the camera, that's not the one I want to be and this is not the way I want to feel for the next say 30 yrs. of my life. I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill, and lot of things to experience, a lot of places to visit and a lot of happiness to embrace in my well lived "Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World" Life!!!.. But I have to feel and look the part to enjoy it to the fullest.

I DO WANT IT BAD ENOUGH, I'LL SHOW ME THAT :) I know I can, I've done it more than once!

Do you want what you think you want Bad Enough? Ask yourselves that, you'll be surprised of the answer if you're honest enough with yourselves. Nothing can stop you if you really Want it Bad Enough!!!... Go make it happen on purpose, I am...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

I Quien Creo YO que Soy?…

3:30 de la mañana, ésta se ha convertido en mi hora favorita para escribir. La casa está en orden, ya tomamos espresso y mi esposo se fué al trabajo, es Domingo, todo un día completito para desconectarme de mi trabajo y todos los roles que hago en mi día a día, toda una mañana para mi. 

Me gusta mi compañía, mis actividades, mis hobbies, la música que escucho, la vegetación que me rodea, los libros o artículos que leo a diario, las fotos que tomo, el departamento en el que vivo, la vista que tengo, las cosas que estudio, los shows que veo en la TV, la comida que como, las siestas que tomo. Mejor compañía que yo para mí IMPOSIBLE!

Es muy raro que yo sienta soledad a menos de que extrañe a alguien en particular y de vez en cuando que llega a suceder me siento a escribir y me recuerdo de lo mucho que amo mi vida y de lo afortunada que soy al poderme contener y mantenerme en paz sin importar lo que me rodea o mis circunstancias y mantenerme entusiasmada por los proyectos que aún me quedan por cruzar en mi “Bucket List”! 

Pero quien soy yo?, a pocos les importo a muchos no, lo único importante para mí es haber logrado llegar a éste momento en mi vida en el que siempre quise estar, en el que acepto quien soy, lo que la vida me ofrece, gozo cada momento que me toca vivir incluyendo los retos que se me presentan y nunca dejo de soñar. 

I quien creo YO que soy? Soy la que paso desapercibida mientras que a través de mi trabajo o fuera de él toco la vida de tantas personas con deseo de regalarles aunque sea por un momento algo positivo algo que les cause una sonrisa, alegría, orgullo, esperanza o simplemente que los ponga a pensar... 

Y Quien Creo que YO Soy!?… Nadie en especial...solo Paz!

Abrazos xoxo

@nit@

Take it from a dreamer...

Dare to Dream BIG! it takes the same effort and the results are what you allow them to be!

May all of your dreams come true!

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

I just wanted to remind 'YOU'...

"Shake the burden of seeing your baby steps as a necessary discipline.

See them instead as optional dance moves in life's conga line, that spark miracles, open floodgates, and lead to the near effortless manifestation of 'DREAMS'."

~ The Universe ~

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

The Twelve Pathways to the Higher Consciousness Planes

I stumbled into this article and thought it was worthy of posting in its entirety. 

If you take the time to read it and absorb everything it says you will realize it's common 

sense. Why suffer doing what doesn't work rather find what works 

and do that =)

Hope it resonates with you as well.

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

The following is from the higher consciousness classic,
        Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes, Jr. 
        which explains the Living Love system to higher consciousness.  
        

        
                    T H E   T W E L V E   P A T H W A Y S
                      To the Higher Consciousness Planes 
                      of Unconditional Love and Oneness

        FREEING MYSELF

         1. I am freeing myself from security, sensation, and power
            addictions that make me try to forcefully control situations
            in my life, and thus destroy my serenity and keep me from
            loving myself and others. 

         2. I am discovering how my consciousness-dominating  
            addictions create my illusory version of the changing world 
            of people and situations around me. 

         3. I welcome the opportunity (even if painful) that my
            minute-to-minute experience offers me to become aware of the
            addictions I must reprogram to be liberated from my robot-like
            emotional patterns. 

        BEING HERE NOW

         4. l always remember that I have everything I need to enjoy my
            here and now -- unless I am letting my consciousness be 
            dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past 
            or the imagined future.  
             
         5. I take full responsibility here and now for everything I 
            experience, for it is my own programming that creates my 
            actions and also influences the reactions of people around 
            me. 

         6. I accept myself completely here and now and consciously
            experience everything I feel, think, say, and do (including 
            my emotion-backed addictions) as a necessary part of my 
            growth into higher consciousness. 

        INTERACTING WITH OTHERS

         7. I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to
            fully communicate my deepest feelings, since hiding in any
            degree keeps me stuck in my illusion of separateness from 
            other people.  
        
         8. I feel with loving compassion the problems of others without 
            getting caught up emotionally in their predicaments that
            are offering them messages they need ior their growth.  
        
         9. I act freely when I am tuned in, centered, and loving, but 
            if possible I avoid acting when I am emotionally upset and 
            depriving myself of the wisdom that flows from love and 
            expanded consciousness. 

        DISCOVERING MY CONSCIOUS-AWARENESS

        10. I am continually calming the restless scanning of my 
            rational mind in order to perceive the finer energies that 
            enable me to unitively merge with everything around me.  
            
        11. I am constantly aware of which of the Seven Centers of 
            Consciousness I am using, and I feel my energy, 
            perceptiveness, love and inner peace growing as I open all 
            of the Centers of Consciousness. 

        12. I am perceiving everyone, including myself, as an awakening
            being who is here to claim his or her birthright to the 
            higher consciousness planes of unconditional love and oneness. 

        ****************************************************************
         The following is from a classic of the higher consciousness
        frontier: The Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes,
        Jr. which explains the Living Love system to higher
        consciousness. 


                       THE SEVEN CENTERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS
         
        1. THE SECURITY CENTER.  
        This Center makes you preoccupied with food, shelter, or
        whatever you equate with your personal security.  This
        programming forces your consciousness to be dominated by your
        continuous battle to get "enough" from the world in order to
        feel secure. 

        2. THE SENSATION CENTER.  
        This Center is concerned with finding happiness in life by
        providing yourself with more and better pleasurable sensations
        and activities.  For many people, sex is the most appealing of
        all sensations.  Other addictive sensations may include the
        sound of music, the taste of food, etc. 

        3. THE POWER CENTER.  
        When your consciousness is focused on this Center, you are
        concerned with dominating people and situations and increasing
        your prestige, wealth, and pride -- in addition to thousands of
        more subtle forms of hierarchy, manipulation, and control. 

        4. THE LOVE CENTER.  
        At this Center you are transcending subject-object relationships
        and are learning to see the world with the feelings and
        harmonies of flowing acceptance.  You see yourself in everyone
        -- and everyone in yourself.  You feel compassion for the
        suffering of those caught in the dramas of security, sensation,
        and power.  You are beginning to love and accept everyone
        unconditionally -- even yourself. 

        5. THE CORNUCOPIA CENTER.  
        When your consciousness is illuminated by this Center, you
        experience the friendliness of the world you are creating.  You
        begin to realize that you've always lived in a perfect world. 
        To the degree that you still have addictions, the perfection
        lies in giving you the experience you need to get free of your
        emotion-backed demands.  As you reprogram your addictions, the
        perfection will be experienced as a continuous enjoyment of the
        here and now in your life.  As you become more loving and
        accepting, the world becomes a "horn of plenty" that gives you
        more than you need to be happy. 

        6. THE CONSClOUS-AWARENESS CENTER.  
        It is liberating to have a Center from which your
        Conscious-awareness watches your body and mind perform on the
        lower five centers.  This is a meta-center from which you
        non-judgmentally witness the drama of your body and mind.  From
        this Center of Centers, you learn to impartially observe your
        social roles and life games from a place that is free from fear
        and vulnerability. 

        7. THE COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS CENTER.  
        When you live fully in the Sixth Center of Consciousness, you
        are ready to transcend self-awareness and become pure awareness.
        At this ultimate level, you are one with everything -- you are
        love, peace, energy, beauty, wisdom, clarity, effectiveness, and
        oneness.

        ----------------------------------------------------------------
             Another file from the High Vibration Academy archives
                                 www.highvib.org
        ----------------------------------------------------------------

When Somebody Loved Me...

For some odd reason I've been watching children's movies again more frequently, hadn't done that for years but keep on bumping into them, I guess they are trying to tell me something so I wind up watching and they have told me more than I ever expected to get from them.

Take this song from Toy Story "When Somebody Loved Me" you would have to be made out of Wood (no pun intended) ;) not to cry or at least get emotional after you watch this video, even a Wooden Toy cries at this ;)

So many decades and so many experiences that turn you into a different person but the minute you begin watching these movies that bring back all the hidden memories of your childhood you realize that inside nothing has changed, you just perceive it differently according to your life circumstances at the moment. You just have to stop and remember!
   
I watched the full version of the original Pinocchio by Walt Disney the other day and it transported me into this magical world, I remember feeling this same way the first time I saw it, just listen to the first song "When you Wish Upon a Star" and the concept of a conscience that even though he was entrusted with this wooden puppet making the right decisions, he has NO control over the decisions he makes. I guess he just wasn't paying attention to what his conscience was saying, he just wanted to have FUN! ;)

No matter how old you are the child inside you is still there, still the same, you never stop wanting, desiring, dreaming, loving, caring, feeling, in fact the emotions become deeper because you've experienced so many of them and because you realize you have less time to enjoy them. It's never too late to "Wish Upon a Star" because "When You Wish Upon a Star, it makes no difference who You are, anything Your heart desires will come to YOU!"

Dreams DO come true, go make yours happen....

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Feel My Energy....

I will know you the moment I see you

Feel My Energy

Find Me

Love,

@nit@ xoxo

Dreams, they are never in the place you expected them to be...

There is so much to life, we must experience!

"Why do we get all these feelings and dreams 

and hopes if we don't ever use them? "

~ Shirley Valentine ~

Live your Life with Passion!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Work Harder Than You Think You Should

One of the reasons why I'm not around here as often as I used to is because I'm really 'Making my Life Happen on Purpose.'

I created a social life that could keep me busy every day if I find the time, I have a job I like, but since it's not the job of my dreams I go to work with joy while I continue to study in order to pursue those dreams.


I prepare by taking courses, going to seminars, reading books, listening to CDs, watching videos and talking to experts.

I enjoy adding to my blog, read, workout when I'm not too lazy or tired; take care of my puppy, take long walks with her at the park at least twice daily, help my kids, visit my father weekly and try to help others when I can.

And the truth is that I still feel and know I should be doing more!

I just find that when you're motivated enough you can do a lot and not notice it.

Hugs, xoxo
Anita

Work Harder Than You Think You Should
By Gary Vurnum
=====================
Can you honestly, in your heart-of-hearts, say that you deserve a pay rise every year?

It probably wouldn't surprise you to find that most people would say 'yes'…but if you were to ask their bosses they almost certainly would say 'no'. Why?

Well…in the workplace at least…we always tend to overestimate our contribution. I know…I used to. I spent about five years thinking that I was indispensable…until I had to suddenly take a couple of months off…and found out that I wasn't.

You KNOW if you are getting in a little late…or taking a long lunch break…or surfing the Internet instead of working. We all do it. But…it's how much you do it that has an impact on your future.

Laziness is a habit that is contagious. The more you do it…the easier it is to do it even more.

Action Point:
In what little ways might you be letting yourself down? Sure…you won't get any thanks for working your best or for turning up that little bit earlier, but in the minds of those in charge…you will set yourself apart from everyone else who doesn't do exactly that! Plus…it gets you into the habit of working at your best…which is an amazingly useful habit to have if you want to make more of yourself!
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