Everything Can Change in a Second...

The day started with a four hour training session in Healthcare. My head was inundated with information but it didn't end there, I had to go back to my School and get four more hours of training, added to the eight I had the day before.

It didn't go by fast but at the end of a productive long two days of Information Overload, I felt content, grateful it was over for now and even a bit more confident!

I got home and found a delicious meal being served by my loving husband. I had this enormous feeling of gratitude to live in a beautiful place, have a loving family, surround myself with a great group of people who work as a team to make a huge difference in the lives of so many families. Can life get any better I thought to myself?

At that moment my phone reminded me that I had a voice message I had received while going around from training to training. The call was from the Radiology nurse. I was actually looking forward to the call, last week the doctor had decided to do a biopsy on a tiny spot he'd been watching, he just wanted to be certain. I'm sure it's scar tissue he said, I agreed, there's no cases in my family, I take care of myself and am very healthy, so I picked up the voice message on a speaker for my husband to stop worrying and we heard the nurse saying "Mrs. Shaffer can you please return my call I'd like to discuss the results of your Biopsy."

At that second I knew that my life was about to change....

Soon my physical body will change and I'll have to endure some very unexpected pain, but that's just the car that I decided to drive during this Life Adventure. My Spirit however will hop on the Shooting Star I'm about to ride and soar with it wherever it takes me.

Because Everything Can Change in a Second...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

The Storyteller...

It's been a while since I wrote, for me writing takes mostly inspiration, in other words I have to be "In Spirit", but it also takes time, commitment, passion, heart or at least a couple of those components and lately my life is undergoing many changes, twists and turns and I'm focusing mostly on that.

I get inspired to write about something all the time, but lately when that happens my mind is either too tired to let the words flow or I'm doing something else at the moment.

I'm convinced that I was born to be a "Storyteller". I believe I've always known that but what I didn't know when I was growing up was that you're not supposed to postpone what "You're Born to Be", judge yourself for the way you do it or compare with others that do it as well. I grew up knowing that I had to do better than I did, I was told that by my parents, teachers, surrounded by others who did do it better than I did, I just got by. Looking back I realize that one of the reasons I never became passionate about anything while I was growing up like others did was the way school was taught and my own personal abilities to learn.

Now that I've been working for the school system and see how diligent they are at addressing every single child and teaching them the best way the child learns better, I realize how much of the education I was offered I missed because I just couldn't focus on all that information they offered me, I could retain some things but others I couldn't, my mind would wonder into this Magical World of Storytelling.

I could make up stories about anything as far back as I can remember. I believe that if school had been taught in a Storytelling manner I would have learned better, but it took me till I was living alone, on my own for the first time in my life, in my late 50s to realize this and now in my 60s I've only begun to scrape the surface of all those stories that I've held inside for so many years that seem like so many lifetimes ago, now only a handful of those millions of stories are still somewhat clear in my mind.

There are many ways that we engage in stories, it can be something as simple as someone next to us riding the bus home at the end or the beginning of the workweek, a total stranger we had never seen before or most likely will never see again, he or she has a story to tell like we all do, all that story needs is an audience other than yourself so it can be told, so if you were to engage in a short conversation with that stranger you may know things about them that could change your instant interpretation of them while perhaps identifying with a part of their story. And just by you listening to their story you are allowing it to be told. The person telling their story will get some sense of relief because having a story in your mind can weigh you down or excite you and by being able to tell someone about it you're either sharing on the burden or the excitement while connecting through it with another soul.

This is more evident than ever in this era of Technology, all you have to do is look at almost any site, especially those with platforms that lend themselves to the telling of one's own personal story which are in fact the most successful ones, ie. Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Instagram, Youtube, any dating site, but it doesn't even have to be just Social Media it's also any company that has created a Website,

I know at least for myself that if I'm going to look at a company I have the habit of looking at the area where it says ABOUT US and the reason I do that is because I like humanizing the experience no matter if it is to buy a pair of shoes, some business cards or deposit at the Bank, I feel more of a connection when I realize there is someone behind all these words on a screen that are offering me a product or a service. Just like we did before the Internet changed the way we live our lives.

The other day I came up with some quotes that made a lot of sense to me:

"The plain fact is that the Planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restores, storytellers and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people with moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success the way we have defined it".
~ David W. Orr - Ecological Literacy: "Educating our Children for a Sustainable World".

"The purpose of a Storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon".
~ Brandon Sanderson - "The Way of Kings".

We all have a story to tell and we all have the need for someone to listen to our story and at least for myself I want my story to be an ADVENTURE!

 Envision your story on a large movie screen and ask yourself "Would I go see that movie, is it interesting, will it hold my attention, is it going to make me laugh and cry and feel every emotion intensely, do I like how the music in the background makes me feel, did it teach me something, was it worth my time, how do I feel when I walk out of the theater, uplifted and energetic, sad and drained or perhaps with anger, fear or despair?

Would I read the book and buy the movie when it comes out on video so I can watch it again and again or will it be one of those movies that we see once when it comes out on TV in the weee hours of the morning when there is nothing else to watch and when you're 1/2 way through the movie you realize you already saw it once and didn't care for it?

Go make your life what you want it to be so you can be in total harmony with the story you tell. Believe me it's worth it, I know, I'm The Storyteller....

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Let Go and Go With the Flow...

I always felt different, I'm sure we all do, but to me it manifested by not feeling at home anywhere outside of me and I must admit that for most of my life I was not comfortable inside either. I went through many ups and downs in my journey and when I was up I was flying high and would cling on to the feeling for as long as I could as if already knowing it wouldn't last, this was way before I started to realize that I was creating my own reality, I had no idea it was those very thoughts that were writing the next Chapters of my Life.

I don't feel shortchanged because I didn't know then what I'm starting to understand at this stage of my life, I feel fortunate and with so much gratitude that I was able to get to the point where I finally understand what it takes to grow, evolve, be grateful for every experience, to Make Life Happen On Purpose and With Purpose and look forward to what's yet to come.

Now I can actually wake up in the morning excited for the day to come. I still walk with cautious steps because it takes time to re-program the mind that has been telling me that what I'm living, experiencing, being, becoming, having was either good or bad, but I can say with all certainty and pride that I've worked hard understanding and taking responsibility for my "Life Adventure" and live it as such perhaps not every moment but pretty darn close to it.

I look for constant reminders, learning to trust my intuition based on the way things feel emotionally to me without judgement and I can see my thoughts and emotions coming to life before my eyes.

Now what happens to me from this other side of the river is that I look around me and see the people I'm in most contact with, my Micro Universe so to speak living the way I did for most of my life and I know they can't see it in themselves otherwise if they knew that how they are perceiving life and what they are and will continue to attract will be the opposite of what they want maybe something will hurt enough that they will say I don't like these results, what am I doing wrong? Is this as good as it gets?

I understand that most of the time these changes don't start to happen until the emotions we are feeling are either emotionally depleted or extreme sadness. At least that happened to me at some point and it got old feeling sad or unemotional so I went all out to find how to change that, otherwise life becomes a burden or boring at best and it might be a short life but it's long enough when you don't find motivation and you're not having fun most of the time.

We can change the way we perceive life, I do now, but we can't make those we love or surround ourselves with change the way they perceive theirs that's their path. I went from feeling like an outsider when I was on that side of the river and now I am the outsider on this side. I didn't appreciate enough the things that I had when I was there but I will be eternally grateful for the way I perceive what I lived then; and now instead of going against I decided to "Let Go and Go With the Flow!!...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Memories...

I had a fabulous experience the other day, I didn't even know that it would turn out that way but for a few hours I traveled straight to my past and my memories came rushing in. I had this ticket that my Husband gave me at Christmas time for a day at the movies at the old and beautifully refurbished Cinerama, the only one left in Seattle, WA. I had been wanting to go but it meant taking public transportation on a weekend day when I'm home, cozy trying to wind down from the workweek that is always intense for me because of my type of work. It also entailed walking to the bus stops with the weather we have here that so often rains, so I kept on postponing the movies that appealed to me like the newest Star Wars for example.

So last week I checked what was playing as I did every week for months, only to find that they were showing the only movie that I've wanted to see in years LaLaLand. That was definitely one that I had to see and what better than the Cinerama that brought me so many memories of my past growing up in Mexico City, I remember being IN LOVE with movies since I was a little girl, my father instilled that love in me because he too felt that way. My mom couldn't care less if she went to see a movie or not but my dad did and so did I and so do my kids because I took them to every appropriate movie they could see throughout the years.

I remember Cinerama being the first chain of its type in Mexico City where I was born and grew up. I believe they opened for the first time in 1962 when I was only 10 years old and could really appreciate what it took to create all that magic that transports you to a different emotions with every frame, action, site, script, music, at that time I wanted somehow to be involved in the movies so my way of involving myself without being in them, was to live them as if I was in them, as if I was one of the characters of the story.

There were two Cineramas that I used to frequent, one was around the statue of "La Diana Casadora" and the other one was the "Hollywood Cinerama" that was across from the CDI, the place where we did everything outside of school, a sports center my family and all the other Jewish families who lived in Mexico City went to for sports, daycare, classes, theater, shows, weddings, events, concerts, exhibitions, celebrities, trips and I could go on and on when I remember how convenient it all was for us then. How much easier it was to connect with the people that you knew your whole life, you saw them at school, at camp and lets not forget the CDI.

On top of it all you had to do if you wanted to go to the movies with your family or with your friends was cross the street to the "Hollywood Cinerama" and voila, you had the best just across the street.

For years I have believed that the past circumstances were easier, lighter, better, but this past Sunday I remembered the things that made it not better than how I view my life Here and Now, when I'm already entering the Winter of my life, when I should be slowing down and discarding my dreams, those that I didn't accomplish yet, when my life should be settling in and not having to concern myself with the future or what it may bright with it.

There is no doubt in my mind that the past was fantastic with everything it brought into my life, but I couldn't see it then nor take full advantage of it because of all the huge challenges that it brought with it,  seems to me that I lived my past just jumping hurdles and not necessarily enjoying it or learning from them, more of what you would consider the life of a victim as opposed to the way I live and view my life now, a fabulous adventure filled with all the contrast necessary to promote your emotional and spiritual growth.

So last Sunday I took the Bus to Westlake Station, the ride alone was like a ride at Disneyland, it travels through neighborhood streets, long two way streets, the freeway and then you go underground where it stops at several underground beautifully kept stations and the part that took my breath away with a combination of surprise, a little fear and amazement was when it went through this concrete pipe-like tunnel where only the bus fits and going through many curves at what seemed like high speed to me. You couldn't see where the tunnels ended so for a while I was conscious that we were many feet underground inside a tube.

Once I got to Westlake Station I took a little while to walk around it. What a beautiful old fashioned station, I've traveled to many places and not all stations are as elegant, inviting, clean, well patrolled and as precise as this one.

I saw how deep we were when I finally went up the escalators that take you back to the street level. It was a cold and rainy day so I was happy that I dressed for the part. On my way to the theater I stopped at my husband's place of work. He came outside through the back alley with his black apron and headband. We both looked like two teenagers who were sneaking to see each other for a moment to steal a kiss.

The theater was just at the end of the block so we said goodbye and I went my way. Inside the theater didn't let you forget where you were, it had the same blue colored tiles all over including the bathrooms, the same red and white and blue signs and even had memorabilia on display.

The movie was all and more of what I had expected, all the emotion of those wonderful Musicals I grew up with, the ones my dad introduced me to when I was a little girl, that created the magical feelings and dreams that carried me through life, bringing me here to this moment when I can cherish and appreciate everything that was that brought me what is.

The most wonderful reminders that I have found of how much one can do, be, have, feel in this lifetime are our Memories... I will remember this day forever!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

We Just Have to...

It's been a fascinating adventure from the moment that my husband and I made the decision to move to the US only 3 short years ago. I had lived here most of my adult life, since 1979 to be exact, but a few years back things happened and I decided to move away to try to figure out who I was and what I was capable of.

So three years ago I came back to the place I call home only this time there was someone else with me, the man I decided to continue this life adventure with and he had never been to the USA before nor does he speak the language. We really had no idea what we were going to do, how we were going to survive, where we were going to live, to work, to make ends meet and then to grow to get the vision that I hold of my life.

I have to admit that at times I've had my doubts but the majority of the time I didn't. I just went day by day walking in the direction of my dreams and sometimes making what before I would have seen as scary decisions only this time I knew inside what felt right.

It's only 3 yrs. later, it's been an adventure that I would have never wanted to miss, although I've wanted to quit and escape the many challenges that appeared in our path many times. From health to weight gain to a place to call home, to work, to exhaustion to lack of funds to adjustment to all the many changes and roles that we have to play to get back to the other side, where we can pick up where I left off years back, traveling and visiting every corner of the world, helping people in whatever we have to offer, sharing wonderful moments surrounded by family, growing our own organic produce, having a place to receive our loved ones.

The more we've walked in trust the more we've grown and the faster things fall into place giving us all the opportunities that we were hoping to have only a short while back. Today we both have jobs we love, we get to help others, we have a lovely place to call home where we can sit by the fire, cook outdoors on the grill and even plant some organic produce, we spent the holidays surrounded by the Love of our family for the first time in a long time,  I even got my bounce back, I walk in confidence and opportunities for growth keep on appearing without having to go out and look for them, that part already stayed back in the past, the challenges now are more about steps we each continue to take to access more of our own abilities and continue growing and crossing off wishes from our individual "Bucket Lists".

I get excited just thinking about all the different experiences that will no doubt continue to appear because "That's How the Universe Works"!!!...

Don't walk or run, just bounce, don't think just act, don't ask just give, don't compete just win, don't smile just laugh, don't mope just cry, don't just dream, imagine! and most important of all don't Hope just KNOW!. All you have to do is be in complete Gratitude of everything that has ever been that took you all the way to where you are right now, look around you and see how well that works for Nature and Trust.

We just have to... Make Life Happen on Purpose and With Purpose!!!



Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Trick, Treat or Gratitude?...

Halloween and "Día de Los Muertos" are two totally different celebrations. They have some of the same characteristics as they both deal with death somehow, but Halloween the way I've been celebrating since I was a little girl is more or a fun tradition that both adults and children happen to like and I believe it has more to do with dressing up and becoming someone else for a day, we all have dreams of becoming someone else even just for a day.

I remember always wanting to be a boy just for one day. All I really wanted was to know how they felt, how they viewed life, what they thought of girls, how they handled life as something other than a girl, no matter how much someone else describes their views and their experience it can never be the same as if you become it and embody it even just for a day, a glance at it would give me the ability to understand men better.

I must have transmitted my love of Halloween to my children. Every year we would decorate the whole house. I loved giving away little gifts like pencils, markers or erasers rather than the usual candy. My daughter especially loves Halloween, when they were little they'd get so much candy that they would build a pretend train made of candy and had a competition of whose train was longer. Nowadays she loves dressing up, going to parties and all those fun things you get to do once a year like go to a Haunted House and get scared out of your mind. Not my favorite but others rave about it. It must be that adrenaline I guess.

So if we establish that Halloween is more like a fun celebration of those scary things that we wonder about or fantasize with whereas "Día de Los Muertos" is as it sounds "The Day of the Dead". As any man-made holiday it has a different meaning for anyone who chooses to observe or celebrate any type of holiday, my husband and I don't celebrate too many, just some that have become traditions from our families and our ancestors. We especially celebrate Shabbat. We make sure that every Friday evening we light the candles and say a prayer to Thank The Creator for allowing us to light the candles once again. I never like to miss lighting the Shabbat candles, even take them with me if we go on a trip, it's just our own reminder that we are still here, still trying to make a difference, still having that corporeal life experience that those who left before us no longer do.

In our house we celebrate the dead every day. There are candles always lit up, a couple of cute skeletons on the corner, little trinkets or pictures that remind us of where we came from, who played important roles in our lives and helped us get to where we are today, I figure without them we wouldn't exist, we wouldn't have a chance to have fun and live an adventure and love and eat and travel and play and cry. And since we are still here to do all that, still able to fulfill dreams, we have them to thank for that so we do it by celebrating the dead every day in our minds, our hearts by living to the fullest for ourselves and for them and most of all with our Gratitude!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Age is But a Number...

I've spoken about this before, I've said it my whole life and I will continue to believe it till the day I die and you can quote ME! "Age is But a Number, and I was never very good at Math!" ~ @nit@

I know our bodies age, but that's just our vehicle, of course every vehicle when it's being used it takes its toll on all the pieces and parts, it starts to fail and eventually it gives up, but that's not us, it's just the vehicle we are riding on during this Adventure.

If you look around my house you see evidence that a child lives here. There are coloring books and many different colored pencils, gel pens, markers, school supplies, binders, markers, staplers, glue sticks and glue guns, crafts all over, from jewelry making to sewing kits, scrapbook albums, shrink a dink. Two of the items on my 'Bucket List' is to get a Doll House and furnish it entirely with miniatures including working lights and the other is to build a House on a large tree in my backyard so that I can go up there with my grandchildren to read them stories and play board games every day.

The other day my husband comes home with a little gift for me. It was one of those Kinder chocolate eggs with a prize inside. He knows I love those little miniatures. It turned out to be a tiny adorable purple whale. the body is hard plastic but right on her belly there is a part that is soft. You squeeze that part while submerging the little whale in water and it squirts from the top like a real whale does. I found it to be so adorable that I take it with me to my daily tub and play with it every time I get in the water.

Yes maybe with the passing of time we get exposed to many things that forces us to adjust our childish desires and chips at our innocence, but inside we are still children trying to live this life with the same joy and curiosity as we did when we first started.

And since "Age is But a Number, and I was never very good at Math!" it's time to go in the tub  to relax, meditate and play with my purple whale.

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

"What if This is As Good As It Gets?"...

I've been watching live online Kabbalah lessons on and off for a few years now, thinking back I've always had this burning curiosity most of all about life itself. I've asked myself so many questions we most likely all do at some point or another, usually when we don't feel right about something we attracted into our experience.

Who am I? What am I here for? Where is here? Am I going somewhere next? Is death really the end? Am I having fun figuring it all out or am I taking everything too personal? Is my experience an adventure or a penitence? Am I paying a price or getting away with murder? What exactly am I supposed to be doing? Is this "As Good As It Gets"?

I can go on and on with the questions that have popped in my mind over a lifetime and no matter how much I've discovered, learned, how clear I feel now about my personal adventure, I keep on searching and discovering new things every day and I have my own curiosity to thank for that. That insatiable need to know what's true and what isn't, what's real and what's fake, how to understand and avoid having those negative emotions like fear, anger, resentment, pain, anguish, jealousy that I've experienced at times in my life and how to take full and complete responsibility for any and every outcome, all I attract into my life and how to remain in a state of harmony and acceptance of all that is instead of placing resistance where there shouldn't be any. 

I'm always open to whatever my life presents to me because I know nothing. I just go in search of the answers and in everything I search I can relate to some part of my findings. I base my decisions on what makes sense to me and of course the more I search for the answers the bigger the questions.

The perception I have of Kabbalah is that there is a Creator and a Creature (that's us here in what they call the Corporeal World) we are just One Creature that Source created to give us all Source is which is Complete Bestowal or The Will to Bestow. The Creator needed what they call a Vessel to Bestow so we were created as the Vessel of Reception or The Will to Receive. And let's just stop there because it has to be taught by those who really take the time to study while I am just an observer so I can make more intelligent decisions on how to be the best version of myself and try to help others do the same.

Just like with Kabbalah I have had curiosity about other beliefs and religions. I wouldn't say I've studied any of them in depth, what I do is search for those beliefs they all have in common, that's what matters most to me because everyone that ever existed since the beginning of words has had thoughts, beliefs and experiences and if all of them agree with a few of all of those put together, then that become a great candidate for me to vote to incorporate it into my Life Experience.

Kabbalah says that we are all One and so does every other religion. They all agree there is nothing else other than The Creator or whatever name you call our original Source.

So if The Creature (Us) is a vessel of reception and in order to receive correction we have to become like The Creator, because of the way we were created we can't do that on our own, we have to do it as a collective, in other words as the One Creature that we are by joining forces together.

I wanted to write the definition, synonyms and antonyms  for the word Humanitarian but I found 299 synonyms and 134 antonyms and that's just a waste of time and space. 

We are The Will to Receive and apparently we don't have a clue what The Will to Bestow means, I know a lot of us would like to know but in order to find out we are supposed to go through the stages of correction and do it as one.

How many celebrities not only from the Entertainment Industry, or people in your own circles, friends, family members, acquaintances, etc. do you know that say they are any of the definitions,  descriptions or synonyms of Humanitarian. Yes maybe they open schools for poor girls in Africa to help them make something of themselves, or teach women in third world countries a craft or a trade so they can help raise their children, donate to the charity of their choice, maybe build hospitals, fund a few grants, pay for someone's college or help rescue victims of Natural Disasters. All those things are wonderful and everyone involved in making this a better world should be praised and appreciated but this is not what it is meant by The Will to Bestow, apparently it can't be if we are created as a vessel of reception. Full Bestowal is do everything for others nothing for yourself.

I read once where they were talking about Humanitarians of the caliber of Ghandi and Mother Teresa, they don't come any better and yet what it said was that even when you become a true humanitarian like them it is still not considered complete bestowal because there is still the part of the EGO that makes them feel better doing it than the guilt of not getting involved,  that they help others because it makes them feel good and that it must be Complete Bestowal in order to reach the level of correction to become like The Creator.  And it's not one correction it's hundreds, not one step on the ladder its lots.

I have a difficult time believing that the day will come when all of us will join forces together to get back to The Creature that The Creator Created no matter how many "Humanitarians" there are out there, perhaps more now than ever but then again we are more of everything, we are simply more divided each time and in my humble opinion and observation Egoism is at its worse, I'm sure most of us do our part the best we can, I do it every day with as many people as I am able who happen to cross my path in the best possible way but I'm just as happy to go back home and retreat from the world, from all the portions of Me who are out there living their own experience. 

Even if this is "As Good As It Gets, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Buenos Aires for My Birthday...

Good Morning World, Good Morning Universe,...

It's funny what happens to me every morning, at first it takes me a while to just kick into gear, then once I'm on a roll I have to stop everything and take my husband to work if I want to keep the car for the day, I always hesitate about taking him all the way downtown and back it's about an hour round trip, but then I remember that once I put on those shoes and say yes I will have an adventure on the way there and another one on the way back. I will have felt so many emotions it will be worth hundreds of hours of therapy all wrapped up in just one hour of pure bliss, half of it in the company of my wonderful husband and the other half in my own wonderful company, I mean can you think of a better place to be than with yourself? or are you still working on that part, not quite sure what to make of yourself, one day you like yourself the other you hate yourself and there you are all the time you can't get rid of you!

So we're just about to get on the Freeway on our way to Downtown Seattle and it hits me all of a sudden, here we are only 3 yrs. in the USA only 3 yrs. as a married couple and we've accomplished the work that would have taken us ten years at a normal pace. We just do the intense courses and move up another step. So I said to my husband "Everything we planned for so far we got so I'm planning my next birthday. We are going to Buenos Aires to meet the Family" I declared.

Three years ago no matter how many times I repeated to him that we were going to get something, I always had to show him first and then I had to remind him I said so, he'd claim I was lucky, and I'd say it has nothing to do with luck don't you get it?

Today when I told him we were going to be spending my 65th Birthday in Buenos Aires being loved and cared for by the family I have and haven't even met? he knew we'd be there, he just said well I'll have to ask for vacation again, as if giving it a tone of a maybe, but I'm never a maybe he knows that so he said good we'll have to plan then.

And I bet you my daughter will tag along, maybe invite a friend, it's an awesome trip I'm sure they won't wanna miss it. I plan on having a 'Wedding Party' since we got married all by ourselves, I told this story before, we even had to pay a witness $14 to sign and then we went to a popular Pancake House for breakfast and a walk by the beach holding hands.

From today until January 24th, 2017 I will do one little thing every day to promote that trip not only takes place but it will be one to remember, there are important people I can't wait to see and hug again and others I'm so anxious to hug for the first time. I can't wait...Buenos Aires We'll Be There for My Birthday...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

It's All in a Day...

We may all think that it's about this history we are writing about our lives, we hold on to the past as if that was going to determine what today will bring and we reach to the future as if that is supposed to give any meaning to today, yes this today, right here and right now but it isn't about the history or the adventure, drama, comedy, terror, love, hate, poverty, wealth, knowledge, ignorance, it's not about any of that its just all in a day, whatever today brings that's what it is about because we don't have anything else, this may be it or this may be the beginning of a "Magical Mystery Ride".

If I were to go back and use then what I know now to make a decision all over again I think I would have been afraid to take some of the risks that I took that brought to my reality so many repressed and unfulfilled dreams to come true that even with the risks I took I would have never wanted to miss. I visited places and did things that were not even in my wildest dreams.

It's those experiences that have allowed me to continue to be a risk taker, a wild dreamer, a dream chaser. I Dare to Dream was the name I adopted more than 10 years ago. I even had a collection of license plates that I personalized for years that said idaretodream because that describes me to perfection. Well that and "Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World" that too, but that's too long for a license plate so instead I used it for the Title of my Blog ;)

It took me years to understand the concept of Here and Now, not that I'm a moron, I know what it means but I didn't know quite how to apply it to my life I only knew how to worry and be in fear, that was familiar to me, but to release fear that was a whole different story. No matter how many books I would read they were all too technical for me, so to understand it I decided to write about it myself the way I perceived it and little by little it began to make sense to the point where I can't think the way I did for most of my life. I have tested myself with real challenges and I just can't seem to go back to the way I used to feel when something challenging comes my way.

I finally get that when you believe it you will see it instead of the other way around as we were told growing up, looking back at my life it was always that way but I never knew it was I who was being the creator of my own reality. When you understand that you stop living in pain or being a victim of a reality you are creating.

It's All in a Day... Go take it on!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

It's showtime folks...

Have you ever noticed how life is like a series of theater acts all put together? Every day we go to rehearse or to play a part, we wear all sorts of customs, use all kinds of voices and personalities, it all depends on who is our counterpart, it can be our families, strangers on the street, co-workers, the old, the young, the animals even nature itself. 

Over the past ten years I have had more experiences, challenges, lessons, accomplishments, hardships but most of all ‘Aloneness’ than I can remember. I don't know how many times I made videos or wrote articles talking or writing to the computer, as if talking to someone, that I have all over my computer and my blog, because I felt the need to say the things that I haven't gotten a chance to say, most of all to my children who are the two people I love the most in this our world. 

I guess you can call them the lessons you learn along the way when you decide to take this path or that one. They all take you somewhere, maybe not where you think you would wind up but when you get there you're supposed to asses the end result so that you can either keep on going in that direction and not look back, or re-think your choices and decisions, pick yourself back up and start on a different path.

I remember when I moved away from Mexico City where I was born and raised. I was young and married, we upped and left everything we knew and moved to this tiny little town by the name of Tecate, Baja California where they produce the beer, so that my husband could do his year of social service and we could follow our dream of moving to the United States and start a different lifestyle and my personal lifetime dream of starting a family, we'll find happiness we thought! 

Our year there was fascinating to say the least, but that's only looking back, at the time it was filled with desire and excitement but we also lacked more of what we needed than what we had. It was very lonely and we had to do with very little of anything. 

Twice a week we would go to a little remote village where the Mayor of this town allowed us to use a small hut to give Medical Services to the people who lived there and couldn't reach a doctor. I would "Play the Role" of a Nurse/Assistant/Receptionist for my husband who was a Medical Student doing his year of Social Service. We would charge the patients $1 one dollar and give them the free medication that we collected from the Red and the Green Cross.

Their gratitude was immense and they always gifted us with some fruits or vegetables from their crops, or some food they had cooked and that was a feast for us.

I remember the only thing that kept me feeling alive was the mail. I used to obsess with the mailman. In those days there was no internet and we certainly didn't have any money for long distance calls so we relied only on the mail. I thought: "I was the one who left everyone so if I want people to think of me I have to write" and I did every day to someone. Not only did I write, I used to keep a notebook where I wrote who I had sent a letter to and when, to see how long it would take others to reply back. Some people wrote back for a little while, some now and then but most never wrote back. 

Forty years have passed and I'm still writing, that must mean something, only now I do it for myself, to remember my own adventure especially when I didn't have anyone to witness it with me. 

In such a long path you can imagine how many challenges you encounter, sometimes you learn from them but sometimes you miss the mark and another challenge arises to teach you what you didn't learn the first or many more times...

Well it’s yet another day, I must wrap this up and go take it on and make the best of it!!! I’m excited to think what it will bring.

It’s Show Time Folks…

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

El Árbol...

Yo no entiendo nada, mientras más trato de entender más me confundo. A veces siento como que no pertenezco en este plano. Veo la vida tan fácil y no me dejo de topar con evidencia de lo contrario y sin embargo no puedo verla de ninguna otra manera, no se porqué y lo he intentado mucho porque si puedo verlo como la mayoría lo ven, difícil , trabajosa y dolorosa a lo mejor el juego que jugamos o la forma en que vivimos sería más divertida. Aunque la verdad prefiero mi percepción y trato de no ponerle mucha atención a la evidencia.

Se supone que depende del esfuerzo que uno le pone a todo lo que hace cual será el resultado,  pero en mi experiencia no es así, hay mucha gente que le pone mucho esfuerzo y los resultado no son los deseados y viceversa.

Nosotros somos los que hacemos que la vida sea tan difícil o que el esfuerzo no traiga los resultados deseados.

El otro día estaba sentada afuera de una de las escuelas en las que trabajo esperando que llegara la hora de entrar a interpretar. Me gusta llegar a las escuelas con 15 mins. de anticipación y sentarme afuera rodeada de la naturaleza, en donde quiera que vaya ahí está y eso me ENCANTA!!! me recarga.

Estaba al lado de un árbol viejo y muy grande, un fuerte tronco y de lo más frondoso Me acerqué a tomarle fotos para recordarlo y darle las gracias por acompañarme en esos momentos de Paz y al estar tomando la foto me pregunté, que tan viejo será? que tantas cosas habrán pasado desde que lo plantaron? guerras, la fuerza de la naturaleza, contaminaciones, enfermedades, nacimientos, muertes, sequías, en el Invierno se ven prácticamente muertos, pierden todas sus hojas, solo queda un tronco al parecer sin vida y luego llega la primavera y ahí está de nuevo en todo su esplendor y sin mucho esfuerzo, solo la confianza de que la Primavera siempre va a regresar.

Yo me siento como el árbol y espero con ansias cada una de las estaciones del año!

Abrazos xoxo
@nit@

Perception is The KEY!!!...

The Universe gives us all the options, but I believe its our "Perception" of it all that makes our reality seem either as an adventure or a nightmare.

One of the most amazing things I experience in my place of work is that I come across so many people in any given day and for an unknown reason some perceive me as one to tell their story to and I love to listen to people's stories. Find it fascinating how each one of us can perceive life so different.

Like the other day for example, this woman walks into my store and while looking at a bracelet she says "ever since my son died I don't like to buy any jewelry". So of course I immediately think she needs someone to listen, so I listen.

She spent maybe 10 mins. telling me her story and I believe that if a stranger trusts me enough to open up and all I have is 2 mins. to make a difference in their "Perception" of it so perhaps they can allow for more joy to come back in their lives you better believe I will take those 2 mins. and give it my best shot.

By the time she left the store the gleam in her eyes had changed. She hugged, thanked and blessed me and for that moment I felt blessed and grateful. Now at least she can see a different side of what happened to her, look at her life now and focus on the great things she has which came out of her difficult experience.

Happiness is and always will be a decision, and Perception is The KEY!!!...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

The day of your birth....

They say you chose when to make an entrance into this existence and what you need to experience.  To quote a good article worth reading Did you ask to be born?

"So the Torah reveals to us this amazing secret: that ultimate choice was made by us, before we even existed. Before G-d emanated your soul and breathed it into your body, you were asked if you should be. So in every situation in which you find yourself, in every challenge you face in your life ~ you are there because you chose to be placed in that life.

We go through life complaining, "I didn't ask to be born...!" But a thousand times a day we refute that claim. With countless choices and actions, we affirm that the life we have is the life we want.

Of course we do. After all, we chose it." The life we have is the life we want"

So what that means to me is that I must be grateful for every person, experience, adventure, those who care about me and even those who don't; so I figured that if that's how I'm supposed to be and I resist any part of it, I'm not allowing it to be what is and living with resistance is not a fun thing.

Today I had no idea how we were going to celebrate and now that the day is about to end I couldn't have planned a better day for myself if I spent months doing it. It was simple and meaningful, my kind of day.

I'm grateful for my existence, I love celebrating the day of my birth because I chose it and because I chose to be me and all that I am and experience.

Thank you all who make my life special, to the the loves of my life, my beautiful children and my husband, to all my family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, co-workers and strangers who made this day and every day special.

Thank you to me for choosing to be.

My love to y'all,
@nit@

And the winner is....

I believe "LIFE is a GAME", we come here to play the game and the winner is the one who manages to have the MOST FUN!! no matter what challenges we have at any moment. I also believe that if we are having fun no matter what our circumstances are, we attract MAGIC and with that we can change our experience, so you can discard the experiences that are not helping you in the FUN department and replace them with the ones that do, the best that you can with what you have.

Children come with that knowledge and that's why they act the way they do. But somehow along the way adults teach them how to halt the fun for the right time, as if there is a right time for us to enjoy and a time to stop enjoying, we shame each other for enjoying too much sometimes, have you noticed?

Don't run, don't scream, don't laugh so loud, don't play right now, don't trust, don't give, don't receive. Then we take all that we can't do along with us throughout our lives and as we experience fear, pain, sorrow, stress, lack, jealousy, resentment, etc. etc. along the path, we forget what it was like to just have fun.

We obviously don't want to believe that its all about that because if we did we would act accordingly. We would all be helping each other instead of competing against one another.

I was watching the video of this little girl. She must have been so enlightened in her past life that look at where she started in this one. See it for yourselves. But pay attention to the FUN part. She can probably make more money than most of the population of the world but she is having so much fun that my guess is that the money doesn't even cross her mind. She looks relaxed, confident, charming, very bright and she beams. And why is she having fun???? Because she loves what she does and it shows in everything she does, the way she looks and what she says.

Come on people lets wake up and start caring about each other. Do something every day to show a stranger that you care without expecting anything in return. If it works for you the way it does for me, you will become so enamored with the results when you see that you made a difference in a stranger's life even if its just by gifting them with a smile. And that's an addiction I don't mind having.

Hugs and kisses to everyone out there...

Go show someone you care ;)

@nit@

Life on Broadway

‎'LIFE ON BROADWAY" With this posting I started my Blog back on December 2007, I created this blog just to express to myself the way I was feeling and to be the witness to my own life adventure, since all of a sudden I found myself playing totally different roles to those I had played my whole life...

 A lot has changed since and I'm so glad I've been keeping track =) 

Hugs xoxo 
Anita

December 17, 2007

"Life on Broadway"

I’m 22 years old and I’m about to start playing my first “Adult” role, in a way I’ve been preparing for this role my whole life, so when the Rabbi said “I now pronounce you husband and wife” I know I’m ready for the part.

We live in a small studio apartment where we can barely store the few things that we have, we save the change because sometimes we don’t have enough money to take the bus to work, but we make every day an adventure, because we know that the role we are playing is just preparing us for bigger and better ones.

We have places to go, people to meet along the way and a lot to learn, and we try to stay true and focused and in total alignment with our dreams.

The years go by and as we begin to feel comfortable with the roles we’ve been playing, we audition for more challenging parts and hope that we can play them just as well and enjoy them just as much, and all of a sudden we find ourselves winning awards, buying our dream home, taking the trips, buying the clothes for each one of the parts we are playing, raising the kids, running the businesses, and we forget about the small studio apartment and the bowl of change, it feels good to have more, it begins to take precedent over the dream, so since it feels so good, what about having more, I’m sure it will feel better, and we begin to forget where we came from, how far we’ve come, and most of all, we forget to be grateful for what we have, instead we are never content because we always want more, and one day I turn 52 and it was all gone. Don’t ask me where it all went, all I knew is that it was no longer mine, none of it, well maybe a few photo albums and knick knacks that tell the story of my life.

Now I’m 55, back in a lovely 3 story townhouse, I call it my fancy Hotel Suite, not ready to unpack here and get all comfortable because it’s just a brief moment of my life. I have a new career that I like. My children just completed High School; my daughter will be going to a great University and my son and I will soon pack and continue our journey.

What happens to us when we find ourselves in situations like this is that we simply forget how to play the roles. We already played them at least once, if not many more times, and not because I’m 55 does it mean I can’t play the role anymore, we can play ANY role we want, and we must, if we want to see ourselves playing every role we want before we die and fulfilling every dream. So here is the formula that works for me.For the fulfillment of all your dreams all you have to do is remember that
“The Main Thing is to keep The Main Thing, The Main Thing!”~Anita~
Do you know what “The Main Thing” is for you? I do! 
Directions:

If you think of life as a 'Broadway Play', you can clearly see how perfectly it is all orchestrated.

We spend our lives either auditioning for a part, or rehearsing a part, or playing the part. And hopefully as we get older, we pick the parts that we would like to play so that night after night, and day after day, when we are up on that stage, we can not only enjoy the role that we are playing, but so that the people who are watching us, enjoy it so much, that we can get standing ovations and derive harmony from this in all aspects of our lives.

So while you get offered the role you want to play, this is what you have to do:

Act the part
Act as if you are already there
Act proud
Act wealthy
Act happy
Act funny
Act energetic
Act generous
Act honest
Act spiritual
But most of all act grateful

And then by Miracle, the part will come, and you’ll already be an expert at how to enjoy this game of life, because of how well you rehearsed and acted even before you were offered to “Play the Part.”

So like they say “Fake it till you Make It!” and don’t ever look back, you might be missing something that’s right in front of you. 

What part should I audition for now?.... 
@nit@

Con Desearlo No Basta...

We make a very strong effort to improve the outer conditions of our existence

But the one who always deals with the experiences of the world is our Spirit

And it translates it either as welfare or as hardship

So if we transform the way we perceive things

We'll be changing the quality of our lives...

"We must become the change we want to see in the World"

M. Gandhi ~

Wishing is Not Enough...

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

Wanna come White Water River Rafting with Me?

Five years ago I couldn’t figure out if my life was about to end, or about to begin. I had so little energy left to deal with the many obstacles and challenges I had ahead of me that I couldn’t seem to make sense out of the madness. But since I was still breathing, and somewhat excited with the thought that maybe, just maybe, I could still fulfill my last dreams, I decided I had to do something about the way I was looking at my life, and try to turn it into a game, an adventure.

At first I picked the game that matched the feelings I had inside, so I could make the game believable for me, and since I feel like I am living in a “Science Fiction World,” in my game I saw myself having all these extra-terrestrials sending me tasks to do with a lot of challenges, and if I didn’t accomplish the task right, or even if they were just in a playful mood, they’d throw meteors that I was supposed to dodge. In the meantime, I’m here on Earth, on the California freeways, trying to make sure the cars that drive by at 80+ mph don’t hit me, while I run across back and forth avoiding the darn meteors.

I don’t know, maybe it’s all those realistic looking video games that my son has been playing for years, but that’s the way I felt about my life at the time.

So as you can imagine, even though I was managing to move forward in spite of the chaos, I wasn’t doing it without lots of scratches and bumps, not to mention the many negative emotions like fear, disappointment, anger, stress, amongst others. So after all the mistakes I was still making, I decided I needed to change the game I was playing. It still had to be credible to me or it would feel like a lie, but it also needed to feel exhilarating and adventuresome, so that the otherwise negative emotions could become positive to help me move forward faster.

Now I’m becoming much more familiar with White Water River Rafting. I’m still not fully on the driver’s seat, but I help steer with one hand, while grabbing on with the other, and it’s definitely getting to be a lot more fun.

Once we can realize that no matter how many challenges come our way, we can only take care of one thing at a time, that if we stress it makes things even harder, and that if we trust that we are still going to stay afloat, that even if sometimes it feels that the raft might tilt, we can still get back on it, then we can see that anytime now, maybe even on the very next turn, there is a serene lake where we can just float for a while, maybe do some fishing, enjoy the sun, the peaceful setting, the scents and the sounds, until we decide what game we’d like to play next.

 'Life is an Adventure' make yours a fun one!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@