Showing posts with label age. Show all posts
Showing posts with label age. Show all posts

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Age is But a Number...

I've spoken about this before, I've said it my whole life and I will continue to believe it till the day I die and you can quote ME! "Age is But a Number, and I was never very good at Math!" ~ @nit@

I know our bodies age, but that's just our vehicle, of course every vehicle when it's being used it takes its toll on all the pieces and parts, it starts to fail and eventually it gives up, but that's not us, it's just the vehicle we are riding on during this Adventure.

If you look around my house you see evidence that a child lives here. There are coloring books and many different colored pencils, gel pens, markers, school supplies, binders, markers, staplers, glue sticks and glue guns, crafts all over, from jewelry making to sewing kits, scrapbook albums, shrink a dink. Two of the items on my 'Bucket List' is to get a Doll House and furnish it entirely with miniatures including working lights and the other is to build a House on a large tree in my backyard so that I can go up there with my grandchildren to read them stories and play board games every day.

The other day my husband comes home with a little gift for me. It was one of those Kinder chocolate eggs with a prize inside. He knows I love those little miniatures. It turned out to be a tiny adorable purple whale. the body is hard plastic but right on her belly there is a part that is soft. You squeeze that part while submerging the little whale in water and it squirts from the top like a real whale does. I found it to be so adorable that I take it with me to my daily tub and play with it every time I get in the water.

Yes maybe with the passing of time we get exposed to many things that forces us to adjust our childish desires and chips at our innocence, but inside we are still children trying to live this life with the same joy and curiosity as we did when we first started.

And since "Age is But a Number, and I was never very good at Math!" it's time to go in the tub  to relax, meditate and play with my purple whale.

Hugs xoxo
@nit@


Saturday, October 8, 2016

Project Bubbah!!!...בּוּבָּה

Bubbah was the way we called our grandmother Etko when we were growing up. All of those years of calling her that and we never knew that we were saying the wrong word. My first cousins used to call her Bobe so why did our parents tell us to call her Bubbah Etko instead of Bobe I will never know, they are both Angels as is Bobe Etko. When I lived in Israel is when I found out what the real meaning of the word Bubbah is in Hebrew.

Hebrew and Yiddish are two completely different languages, not all Jewish people speak both, I don't know the history of it because it's not really that important to me but I've read here and there that Yiddish was used by Azquenazi Jews in some parts of Europe whereas Hebrew was used more in places like Italy and Spain by Sephardic Jews, maybe I'm wrong but I do notice knowing a little bit of both, more Hebrew for me, that they do have some similarities in a few words, I wasn't raised in a Jewish parroquial school like my cousins were and where they teach you Hebrew as a second language, I was raised in a bilingual English/Spanish school and Ashkenazi Jewish grandparents who spoke only Yiddish, so Bubbah supposedly was the Yiddish version of Bobe,  so if my grandma Etko who came from Poland and didn't speak Spanish very well said that, I certainly believed her.

The real meaning of the word bubbah in Hebrew is doll, now what that has to do with grandma I don't know, but what I do know is what my intuition is telling me.

I think that word was placed by my own intention when I entered this realm because I've been entertaining this idea for a few years now and I think I'm just going to express my idea to the Universe to make it Manifest once and for all.

I'm very partial to older people for many reasons, because I wasn't there when my Bubbah Etko passed away nor was I sitting right next to my own mother Bobe Sarah holding here hand and telling her how much I was going to miss her, because I couldn't take care of them and I don't know if I told them enough how much I loved them and how grateful I am to have been a part of their Life Adventure. Because most people focus on youth, the new generations, the future of the world and those who are on their way out sometimes get neglected and left alone to die a slow and lonely death.

Even if you're lucky enough to get to an old age where your children go visit you at a Home for the Aged every weekend and the place is all fancy and you have a nurse next to your bed all day, you are basically a prisoner there till the day you die and what I want more than anything in this world is create a Campaign to help ease some of the pain that comes with just sitting there waiting to die and each day that passes is the same. I want to bring them some comfort and joy.

Even if you have activities in the Retirement Home and food is good and you don't have to cook it it's still the same life every day. I am such a free spirit that I could never wind up in a place like that, I just want to live as long as I am still able to enjoy that freedom and can take care of myself. 

I'm not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, not even a social worker but I would challenge all of those communities to do a test on this Project I call Project Bubbah!

It's a very simple project. My desire is to get sponsors, I would like to create a Bubbah! - Doll that we can donate to all of the Residents that live in Retirement homes. Every one of them would receive a doll that they will personally name. There will be a small ceremony for each Adoption and a Birth certificate with the name of the Adoptive Parent and the name of the Bubbah! The certificate will be framed and hung in their room with a picture of themselves with their Bubbah. 

If you cried like I did in the scene where Tom Hanks realizes that he has just lost Wilson, his Best Friend, his Only Friend and Companion for four lonely years and he starts apologizing to him as he sees him drifting away in a desperate attempt to rescue him, you know how powerful it can be to have something, even an inanimate object that you grant the power to take your loneliness away.

So today I declare my Intention to the Universe, I bow to do whatever it takes to create this project and see it through to completion.

No matter how much I've done so far for this project that lives right in the center of my heart and is an important component of my "Bucket List, I declare today Project Bubbah Launching Day!!!...בּוּבָּה 

And let the Games Begin... Do I hear a Hurray out there?

Hugs xoxo
@nit@


Monday, September 12, 2016

It's not so Bad at 65...

This is just my attempt at trying to remind myself that it's not as bad at 65 as your body sometimes makes you feel. The challenge I face is that as far as my mind and I am concerned we are ageless, I don't feel age, but my body does, it seems to believe that we are separate because I can't identify with the things my body does, like what do you mean I have to pee again, I just peed 5 mins. ago. What do you mean you want to fall asleep you just woke up.

I think in all honesty if it were up to me I'd go pay attention to my body and get some more rest, it must know what it needs, but it's not up to me it's kind of up to my husband who is like a dictator when it comes to our time.

We love being together, spending time doing things, I get pumped when I'm around him so he pushes me to get up and keep on moving, he tells me you make your own energy as you go along just keep moving, you will have forever to sleep when you die, now you have to keep on moving so around him I do you see, it's when he leaves, when I stay in my castle alone where I can eat, sleep, write, listen to music, meditate, think or allow myself to stop thinking I envision a lot, I'm getting great at that if I may say so myself.

So what's wrong with getting in the tub with bubbles and epson salts with essence of lemon, some soothing music, candles and my game of Candy Crush in case I get bored, lets not forget the cup of espresso and probably some cut up fruit, its peaches and plumbs today. Taking blueberries to work.

Today is another Magical Day, my body feels tired, if it were up to it I'd lay down and get some rest, but I have appointments to interpret all day, then there's my stepson's mattress that's arriving today, today I make my son's bed for the first time in many years, he doesn't even have a clue of what his room looks like, he's been sleeping in a rented room and sleeping on a mattress on the floor for years, so he's going to come here to this master bedroom suite with its own en-suite and walk-in closet with a roll top desk in a lovely neighborhood where you can walk to school, to transportation, to restaurants, to theaters, even to a river just two blocks away.

It's not so bad at 65 when you can still feel the desire to help others and when the desire has become your predominant thought and reason for being. It's others that make us, we are nothing on our own.

It's not so bad at 65, you've learned so much and you still have time for a do-over, to be someone's mother again, to be someone's grandmother and wife and daughter in law. My life goal and biggest dream is to bring us all together.

It's not so bad at 65 when you can start collecting some Social Security and Medicare, when you go to the stores or you get services and start getting discounts, when you go to the movies and pay like a kid again.

When you can still get stylish eyeglasses that you can see out of better and they make you look cool. When you can get a manicure and pedicure every month, and treat your body without chemicals, that's a whole other subject I'll write about but lets just say if our body says we gotta go, we are nature, so lets leave it to natural supplements to heal ourselves if we can, if not let go with dignity instead of fighting it with chemicals.

It's not so bad at 65, but I better get going to pee one last time, I gotta leave in 1/2 hr. no time to waste...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Thursday, January 3, 2013

What kind of cheese are you?...

Like I say to my kids when they ask me "When will you grow up Mom?"

"Life is but a number, and I was NEVER very good at math!" ^_^
~@nit@~


Just feel free to be a kid, no one is watching ;)

Love hugs xoxo
@nit@

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Man's Harshest Foes...Mother Nature and Father Time





Humans are straddled with unsurmountable challenges, from the moment of conception until dust turns to dust. If anyone looks back at their lives and evaluates the challenges, hurdles and burdens they have had to overcome just to exist, many would question whether the effort justified the legacy.

It appears that every critical movement made in our lives, is a decision between good and bad, right and wrong, do or die. The outcome of those choices can only be properly assessed in hindsight, when the dust from the battle has settled and we can then count with clarity all the casualties left behind. It is the expectation of humanity that we constantly walk through the right door, even though the laws of aging and time are antithetical to experience and wisdom.
The traditional hope is for us to become wiser and consequently better as time and maturity set in. And yet in order to achieve homeostasis with our environment we are naturally doomed to make enormous errors in judgement from which we are to learn the lessons in life. It is almost like we are fighting ourselves and our birthright ignorance, in an attempt to fortify and toughen the positions we take when we confront our fellow man. As shown throughout time, it appears we have yet to master these skills, and we wind up yearning for more time or more endurance to reshape our legacy in later years. The paradox is overwhelming, forcing us onto the compliance treadmill that keeps us generally on the straight and narrow while stifling creativity, progress and internal growth. Sometimes or most of the time we swallow the bitter pill in order to shave off trials and tribulations associated with breaking out of chained traditions.

I have no observations that moves us closer to resolving the riddle.
I do however have some commentary about two forces that are usually discussed in gentle terms, friendly forces that ease the challenges of the exciting climb to the summit from where we can see where we came from, and guide us gently through the descent where we hope to settle at base camp to talk about all our achievements, in hopes of convincing them that our route was the right one. All of this if only we give in kindly to them, without resistance, passively and amicably. These forces are natural, human and part of the equation of life. I don't believe they are as friendly as they are portrayed. They are interwoven into life's fabric and they become an essential component of the blanket we use to shelter ourselves as the days get colder, in the wintery quarter of our presence on earth.

Mother nature and Father time. Amazing how their public relations agents even gave them both benevolent and revered status by assigning them paternal monikers. Making us feel like they are part of our family, trustworthy and intent on advancing us to a better place.

I think they are the ultimate Trojan horse embedding themselves in our bodies, minds and spirits, only to slowly spread like a malignancy that leads us to the ultimate holocaust, the destruction of humankind. Take mother nature always portrayed as a playful winged creature powdering life with sprinkles of fairy dust after which everything seems greener and smells fresher. She solidifies the illusion that as long as we care for her, we shall be cared for in kind. Father time is portrayed as a benevolent figure born with a diaper on January first and wisely walking off the year's calendar on December 31st. This is done as if to contain and cloak the ravages he dispenses in his relentless eternal tick tock attack on our lifetimes. Together they play the most deceiving slight of hands, intended to lull us into their lair, asking us to give up gracefully the youthful indiscretions that defined us and made us relevant. These two con artists steal our importance in society pushing us off the treadmill with the promise of an afterlife where neither appear to play any significant role. Just think of the deception. Mother nature delivers the infant, squeaky clean, powdery fresh innocent and free from responsibility, helpless and totally reliant upon others to achieve the next level. She sneakily provides us with all the necessary elements to breathe, drink, eat and thrive. She makes us feel invincible, with rubbery bones that never break, skin that always regenerates and enough energy to tackle every daunting task that we are faced with.

Then we grow holding hands with her, listening to her advice and admonitions, believing blindly in her altruism, convincing others to follow her, dancing behind her like rats behind the piper. It's not long before you realize this lady is no lady at all. Playful at first she seems so innocent and loving, until the first subtle yet definitive assaults. The tree that sheltered us from rain and suspended our childhood house, collapses in a pile of timber after it's struck by lighting, either of which can snuff you out if you cross them. The earths waters rise and fall as she warns "prance at your own peril". The gentle breezes become violent killers randomly plucking her children and churning them into netherworlds. The warm comforting crackles of the nourishing and warm fire, explode into wild orgies of destruction at the drop of a match. The solid earth we tread on giving us a gravity platform will spontaneously tremble so recklessly,it brings all her children to their knees begging for forgiveness for transgressions never committed. The nourishment provided by her kindness slowly offends and degenerates our organs rendering them inefficient, obsolete or both. The skin wrinkles, the muscles ache and the mind fades. The more we are encouraged to pursue our dreams, the more she seems to impede the efforts. It is almost as if she is lying traps in the labyrinth that has no exit, and the reward, when reached is staled by our absence of zeal and vigor.

We go so far and try so hard, only to realize that the prize, is half figment of our imagination and half truths. She is ultimately uncaring of our half fulfilled hopes that scream for a little bit more time. Which brings me to him, Father time. Always present from the inception and promised to be there at the end. Always on time, like clockwork marking it's passage by benign celebrations where we eat cake and blow out candles to signify another year of accomplishments and hopes for the future. He encourages you to look at times past making your past life a living and breathing being,always at your beck and call to assist you in the next endeavor. He is a distant friend in your early travails, and we seem to not see him or worry about him as the summers last forever and the things of youth are seemingly perennial. But don't mistake his fatherly complacency. He is much more evil than the kindly clock we believe him to be, ticking happily at the beat of each step we take. He is a con artist, a deceiver, a liar, corrupt and corrupting. How ironically he plays with our memories, taking us instantaneously to other places in the past where we feel the emotions are vividly in our reach. He gently glides you past those years that are so fulfilling and reminiscent of better circumstances,while covering the face on his watch as if to say, "don't think about me, you will always have me by your side".

Then one petrifying mirror morning you discover the rouse. We are face to face with a stranger, a distorted apparition that looks nothing like you remember, and bears the scars inflicted by her, Time's ally in the battle against you. And when you try to time travel, the memories are not quite the same, and mostly only serve as an anxious reminder of what was, and no longer is. As if this were not humbling enough, she robs you of the ability to reminisce by dementing the memory process and erasing any cogent thought that may help you figure out, how you wound up where your at, and how to cope with this strange unreal world. As we are conned into believing that she is all embracing and he is the keeper of happy times we are slowly yet systematically awakened by their evil plot, first by making you believe in their selflessness and then, once you do, kick out the underpinnings of the structure we call our life, sending it careening down into a dark eternal place where even her sunshine can't reach, and his hands no longer mark any passages.

At the near end All thats left from the solid rock you depended on, is sand slowly dripping into the bottom half of his iconic instrument. So there you are, wasted tired confused and weary. Battle scars are abundant and grotesque for all to see. The young ones coming up from behind never believing they too will be here one day, smirk at how irrelevant you are in their world . All you have left are morsels of love and companionship parceled out by the loved ones you touched in life.

And sadly toward the end, all that is consistent are the foes . Mother nature decaying the last few fibers of hope dragging us to the finish line regardless of stature or station in life. She does so independent of good or bad works, and uncaring of half fulfilled hopes that scream for a little bit more time. Simultaneously father time, is rapidly counting away the few remaining minutes, sadly flashing better days before your eyes. They both embrace each other congratulating themselves on a job well done. One more for the eternal record . We appear to be always concerned about the date the world will come to an end.

Sadly it ends every second of every minute of every hour of every day. The third enemy of the triad, "Death", ends the world for you.

Mark. Fall of 010

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Age is but a number, and I was never very good at Math!...




Like with everything else in life there are different attitudes regarding age. Take my mother for example (may she rest in peace), bless her heart I believe she was born old, at least I felt that way around her. She had very old fashioned ideas, she never drove or worked, and I can still remember how upset she was when she saw my first boyfriend kissing me. I can recall feeling very self-conscious and embarassed going into my room at my parent's home with my husband on the day we got married to change clothes after the wedding, to go off on our honeymoon.

Then there’s my ex father in law, ‘Poppo’, he always talks about his high school days as a star athlete and the time he spent as a Marine; it seems those were his favorite years since he keeps on referring back to them, and the one thing he keeps on stressing to me is how fast he feels his life is going, since he is still holding on to those years.


To tell you the truth for a long time, it wasn’t that I didn’t believe him, but I just couldn’t relate to what he was saying, I kept on thinking that he should try to live and enjoy the present and stop looking back, and in many ways he is, since to this day, getting closer to his late eighties, he is still handsome, in good health, great spirits, has a good group of friends, he travels, he works-out and looks good, and maybe his re-living those years is what’s kept him feeling and looking younger.

I, on the other hand, live very much in the present, and it was only recently that I started to relate to what ‘Poppo’ has been telling me all these years regarding how fast life goes, since I’ve never really paid too much attention to my age. That was up until about a year ago when I turned 55 and acquired the label of ‘Senior Citizen’. How could this be? I thought to myself, wasn’t I just 20 yesterday? Who’s that older lady in the mirror looking back at me? I don’t feel any different; I haven’t stopped wanting, needing, feeling, caring, hurting, enjoying, and most of all dreaming!


At that point I realized that I could either become like my mom, or start thinking about the good old days like ‘Poppo’ or simply realize that “Age is but a number, and I was never very good at Math!” ~ @nit@
Hugs xoxo
Anita