Insatiable Curiosity!?...

Looking back at my life I realize I've always had what could be considered an obsession to finding out the answers. I used to think that was just a normal curiosity that everyone had so I never gave it a second thought, but the older I get I can now consider it more like an insatiable curiosity, if I want to know something I search for the answers non stop, that has led me to trust my intuition more and more, although it has also led me to have more questions that invariably arise from the answers.

Curiosity to what you ask? to anything and everything, to life, to death, to all the mysteries that arise from being a sentient thinker living in this realm experiencing life in the Broadest Possible Spectrum that exists in all of Creation.

I've always been a sceptic and never really a scholar, so I've had to rely on hours, weeks, months, years of research just to vaguely understand who we are, why we're here, what's our purpose, is there anything else, do we come back, who are the others, friends or foes, duality, dimensions, spirituality, religion, science, collective consciousness, quantum physics, sets of beliefs, the shadow and so many other things and the more answers I find that make sense to me and my intuition tells me I should pay attention to the more the questions arise.

So what do you do when you have some answers but still have so many questions, I guess if that was a question I had to answer to win a contest that at the same time would satisfy all that part of my life I've spent trying to get all the answers, I would have to say "I Trust Life!" and that alone satiates my "Insatiable Curiosity!"

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

Trick, Treat or Gratitude?...

Halloween and "Día de Los Muertos" are two totally different celebrations. They have some of the same characteristics as they both deal with death somehow, but Halloween the way I've been celebrating since I was a little girl is more or a fun tradition that both adults and children happen to like and I believe it has more to do with dressing up and becoming someone else for a day, we all have dreams of becoming someone else even just for a day.

I remember always wanting to be a boy just for one day. All I really wanted was to know how they felt, how they viewed life, what they thought of girls, how they handled life as something other than a girl, no matter how much someone else describes their views and their experience it can never be the same as if you become it and embody it even just for a day, a glance at it would give me the ability to understand men better.

I must have transmitted my love of Halloween to my children. Every year we would decorate the whole house. I loved giving away little gifts like pencils, markers or erasers rather than the usual candy. My daughter especially loves Halloween, when they were little they'd get so much candy that they would build a pretend train made of candy and had a competition of whose train was longer. Nowadays she loves dressing up, going to parties and all those fun things you get to do once a year like go to a Haunted House and get scared out of your mind. Not my favorite but others rave about it. It must be that adrenaline I guess.

So if we establish that Halloween is more like a fun celebration of those scary things that we wonder about or fantasize with whereas "Día de Los Muertos" is as it sounds "The Day of the Dead". As any man-made holiday it has a different meaning for anyone who chooses to observe or celebrate any type of holiday, my husband and I don't celebrate too many, just some that have become traditions from our families and our ancestors. We especially celebrate Shabbat. We make sure that every Friday evening we light the candles and say a prayer to Thank The Creator for allowing us to light the candles once again. I never like to miss lighting the Shabbat candles, even take them with me if we go on a trip, it's just our own reminder that we are still here, still trying to make a difference, still having that corporeal life experience that those who left before us no longer do.

In our house we celebrate the dead every day. There are candles always lit up, a couple of cute skeletons on the corner, little trinkets or pictures that remind us of where we came from, who played important roles in our lives and helped us get to where we are today, I figure without them we wouldn't exist, we wouldn't have a chance to have fun and live an adventure and love and eat and travel and play and cry. And since we are still here to do all that, still able to fulfill dreams, we have them to thank for that so we do it by celebrating the dead every day in our minds, our hearts by living to the fullest for ourselves and for them and most of all with our Gratitude!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

If I'm Gonna Die, I Wanna Live...

This morning I woke up later than normal because I worked last night, then when I got home, although I had just slept 5 hrs. the night before "The Voice" was on and it's one of my favorite shows, I love talent shows, there's so much talent out there that never seizes to amaze me. Some voices that must come straight from Heaven that even make me cry and talent of all types. It's also incredible how many young children have the talent of adults at such a young age. So of course I stayed up to watch it.

I've been trying to be more conscious of living my life with a different perspective than the one I grew up with and adopted for 60 yrs. only to find out at this age that I had made it more challenging for myself than it was supposed to be.

My logic tells me one thing but my repetitive actions and thoughts for most of my life seem to want to pull me back, so my strategy not to revert to the way I used to perceive my life is to make short term plans of action and try to stay true to my plan for a long enough period of time until it becomes the "New Normal".

I understand that there's always something pending to do, there are times and responsibilities to abide by and from there I have to decide what to tend to next, is it those pending things that can wait for now or is it doing something to bring me Joy, more health, stamina, strength and tools to help others find their joy. That's what I focus on first and then I go complete the other tasks.

I did it the other way around my whole life and the truth is that it didn't work out the way I thought it would. There were many things that I wanted to accomplish and always left those aside. I thought I was supposed to help those I love the most to accomplish their goals and then it would be my turn, my mom modeled it that way to me.

This morning I didn't have all those hours I get when I wake up at 1:30 am but I didn't want to stop living that part that brings me so much joy in the morning such as taking a warm bathtub with Epson Salts and citrus/menthol oils, ginger candles, meditation tapes and lets not forget sitting down to write so that tonight I can come back and re-read what I wrote and feel again that joy that I feel when I'm putting my "Own Oxygen Mask First" and then doing the rest.

The only thing we know for certain in this Life is that we're all going to die, this reality we are living day to day will end one day just like that, nobody really knows when or how, I'm not afraid of dying, I don't know anything about it just what others say but I know it will happen, I just want to do my best not to die with the Music still in me so "If I'm Gonna Die, I Wanna LIVE!!!" while I can and do it with as much Joy and Passion as possible!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Perception is The KEY!!!...

The Universe gives us all the options, but I believe its our "Perception" of it all that makes our reality seem either as an adventure or a nightmare.

One of the most amazing things I experience in my place of work is that I come across so many people in any given day and for an unknown reason some perceive me as one to tell their story to and I love to listen to people's stories. Find it fascinating how each one of us can perceive life so different.

Like the other day for example, this woman walks into my store and while looking at a bracelet she says "ever since my son died I don't like to buy any jewelry". So of course I immediately think she needs someone to listen, so I listen.

She spent maybe 10 mins. telling me her story and I believe that if a stranger trusts me enough to open up and all I have is 2 mins. to make a difference in their "Perception" of it so perhaps they can allow for more joy to come back in their lives you better believe I will take those 2 mins. and give it my best shot.

By the time she left the store the gleam in her eyes had changed. She hugged, thanked and blessed me and for that moment I felt blessed and grateful. Now at least she can see a different side of what happened to her, look at her life now and focus on the great things she has which came out of her difficult experience.

Happiness is and always will be a decision, and Perception is The KEY!!!...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

I still carry you in my Heart Every Day of My Life!

Nothing I have EVER seen has touched me as much as you did Darius. I had a younger brother, his name was David and he died of Duchenne at the young age of 14. He was like you, an AMAZING bright guy, but he wasn't as blessed as you are to have had the friends, the support, and to live to an age where he could experience some of these amazing JOYS of life. So now I live for him and for me and for all those who didn't get a chance. Keep on ENJOYING YOUR LIFE! it's like MAGIC! 

Hugs and kisses to you xoxo 
Anita

I LOVE YOU DAVID! I STILL CARRY YOU IN MY HEART EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE! 

When Lanny comes marching home again hurrah, hurrah!!!

So about a month ago I’m talking to my daughter on the phone and she was asking me what my life was like in San Miguel, when I realize that what I’m describing to her is ‘Magical’; I must have sounded very convincing because 24 hrs. later she had made arrangements to put together some free time to come visit me, had found herself an inexpensive flight from Boston to Mexico City, and right now I’m on the bus on my way to DF to pick her up and begin a new adventure with one of the two most important people in my life.

It’s been almost a year since we last hugged each other, the phone is great and we stay in touch daily, but there is no substitute for wrapping your arms around your children.

Yesterday I was shockingly reminded of the frailty of our lives with the untimely and tragic death by a freak accident of a woman still full of life and dreams of the future. She left behind a loving family, and amongst them two daughters, who like my Lanny and I, also happened to be best friends. So how do you cope with the loss of your mother, mostly when it was so totally unexpected?

I recently lost my mother, she was only 77 yrs. old, and just before she died, what she wanted more than anything was to see me happy, Although we had been preparing for that dreadful day for sometime because her body was too ill and she was in constant pain, when that day came. what I grieved about the most was that I couldn’t give her what she wanted, because my load in life at the time was rather heavy.

It’s been almost 3 yrs. since the day I lost her, but she will live in me forever, so I needed to make sure and give her what she wanted, and now that I am in a happy place in my life, and make every moment count, I can celebrate her life instead of mourning her death.

So Lanny and I have fantastic plans for the next two weeks. We will tour DF and various cities nearby, visit ruins, museums, go to the hot springs, get a spa treatment, take long walks with Diego, go horsebackriding, etc. but most of all we will create a stronger bond and lifetime memories. I’ll have to get back into scrapbooking because this trip promises to give us enough material to create a great album.

I can’t wait to hug you my child!

To the whole Barbieri family, my most heartfelt sympathy, that comes from a place of understanding and love. May you all find peace in the wonderful memories of a life well lived, and may you continue to find happiness in your own lives, the best way to honor hers.

I want to take a moment to thank all of you who take time to read my words. I write mostly for myself because its through my writings that I manage to view my life from a distance, but like a friend of mine once told me,

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? " and nothing makes me happier than to know that I made a difference in someone's life, even those of you I don't know and most likely will never get to meet, you all matter to me, so I cherish your comments.

Thank y'all!

Hugs everyone

@nit@

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real...

FEAR

by Ilana

It´s dark out, and you´re home alone. The house is quiet other than the sound of the show you are watching on TV. You see it and hear it at the same time. The front door is suddenly thrown against the door frame. Your breathing speeds up. Your heart races. Your muscles tighten.

A split second later, you know it´s the wind. No one is trying to get into your home, you are safe. For a split second you reacted as if your life were in danger, your body initiating the fight-or-flight response that is critical to any animal´s survival. But really, there was no danger at all. What happened to cause such an intense reaction?

FEAR - an emotion mentally and physically paralyzing. We´ve all experienced it. We wouldn´t be human otherwise. Today, I want to talk to you about FEAR.

Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing, and energized muscles, among other things - also known as the fight-or-flight response. Does this response sound familiar to you?

The brain is a profoundly complex organ. More than 100 billion nerve cells compromise an intricate network of communications that is the starting point of everything we sense, think and do. Some of these communications lead to conscious thought and action, while others produce autonomic responses. The fear response is almost entirely autonomic. We don´t consciously trigger it or even know what´s going on until it has run its course. The stimulus could be a spider, a knife at your throat, the sudden thud of your front door, or even speaking before a room full of people.

An what is the number one fear humans have? Public Speaking! Jerry Seinfeld illustrated it well - ¨According to most studies, people´s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, If you go to a funeral, you´re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.¨

Today, I speak here before you about FEAR to point something out. Some of you may already be aware, some of you may not. But, nevertheless, I cannot let this opportunity to speak my mind go by without making sure I said my peace.

Each one of us boldly faced the number one fear humans have. I do not think anyone should downplay the courage they have shown in this classroom nor forget about it. In the future, at times when fear seems to be seeping in, remember the power that resides within you and the strength you exhibited in this classroom. This course isn´t even a requirement and the fact that each one of us got up here - multiple times, well, I personally think that deserves recognition.

So, whether your biggest fear IS public speaking, or sharks, or the dark, or something absurd like the fear of red socks - whatever it may be, congratulations to all of you for the completion of this course. And thank you Professor Piccillo for your wisdom and guidance throughout it.

Don't bury me on Friday Morning...

This was written by my handsome and youthful 92 yr. old Father in Law! That's why he is still so young and vibrant, because he lives his life with humor.

Love you Dad xoxo

"I had to take my wife to the hospital last week. While being examined the first words she spoke to the doctor were "I got to get out by Thursday, got a beauty shop appointment Friday".

Fellows, you're wasting your time taking them to doctors, picking up prescriptions, taking them for MRI's, CAT scans or X-rays. Forget about doctors' appointments, just get them to the beauty shop. That's the best treatment.

I told my Rabbi, "When I die, don't bury me on Friday morning, my wife goes to the beauty shop on Friday morning."

Harold

If G-d brings you to it......

I thought this was a nice story to share with you...it looks long to read, but it truly isn't...not to mention that it is well worth it!

I decided to give it a title since it didn't come with one, and I have no idea who wrote it, a good friend of mine from childhood sent it to me.

I'm just like Rose, I take classes every chance I get, travel as much as I can, anywhere, I'm fearless, daring and thrive on adventure, and if the opportunity arises, I'm there!

Hope you enjoy the story as much as I did, and remember to be like Rose, it's the only way to be!

Hugs,
@nit@
If G-d brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
(Thank you Rose!)

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids .." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.

" As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "! We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.

If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. G-d promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If G-d brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

--- We are all like one-winged angels. It is only when we help each other that we can fly.

--Luciano de Crescenzo