Everything Can Change in a Second...

The day started with a four hour training session in Healthcare. My head was inundated with information but it didn't end there, I had to go back to my School and get four more hours of training, added to the eight I had the day before.

It didn't go by fast but at the end of a productive long two days of Information Overload, I felt content, grateful it was over for now and even a bit more confident!

I got home and found a delicious meal being served by my loving husband. I had this enormous feeling of gratitude to live in a beautiful place, have a loving family, surround myself with a great group of people who work as a team to make a huge difference in the lives of so many families. Can life get any better I thought to myself?

At that moment my phone reminded me that I had a voice message I had received while going around from training to training. The call was from the Radiology nurse. I was actually looking forward to the call, last week the doctor had decided to do a biopsy on a tiny spot he'd been watching, he just wanted to be certain. I'm sure it's scar tissue he said, I agreed, there's no cases in my family, I take care of myself and am very healthy, so I picked up the voice message on a speaker for my husband to stop worrying and we heard the nurse saying "Mrs. Shaffer can you please return my call I'd like to discuss the results of your Biopsy."

At that second I knew that my life was about to change....

Soon my physical body will change and I'll have to endure some very unexpected pain, but that's just the car that I decided to drive during this Life Adventure. My Spirit however will hop on the Shooting Star I'm about to ride and soar with it wherever it takes me.

Because Everything Can Change in a Second...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Let Go and Go With the Flow...

I always felt different, I'm sure we all do, but to me it manifested by not feeling at home anywhere outside of me and I must admit that for most of my life I was not comfortable inside either. I went through many ups and downs in my journey and when I was up I was flying high and would cling on to the feeling for as long as I could as if already knowing it wouldn't last, this was way before I started to realize that I was creating my own reality, I had no idea it was those very thoughts that were writing the next Chapters of my Life.

I don't feel shortchanged because I didn't know then what I'm starting to understand at this stage of my life, I feel fortunate and with so much gratitude that I was able to get to the point where I finally understand what it takes to grow, evolve, be grateful for every experience, to Make Life Happen On Purpose and With Purpose and look forward to what's yet to come.

Now I can actually wake up in the morning excited for the day to come. I still walk with cautious steps because it takes time to re-program the mind that has been telling me that what I'm living, experiencing, being, becoming, having was either good or bad, but I can say with all certainty and pride that I've worked hard understanding and taking responsibility for my "Life Adventure" and live it as such perhaps not every moment but pretty darn close to it.

I look for constant reminders, learning to trust my intuition based on the way things feel emotionally to me without judgement and I can see my thoughts and emotions coming to life before my eyes.

Now what happens to me from this other side of the river is that I look around me and see the people I'm in most contact with, my Micro Universe so to speak living the way I did for most of my life and I know they can't see it in themselves otherwise if they knew that how they are perceiving life and what they are and will continue to attract will be the opposite of what they want maybe something will hurt enough that they will say I don't like these results, what am I doing wrong? Is this as good as it gets?

I understand that most of the time these changes don't start to happen until the emotions we are feeling are either emotionally depleted or extreme sadness. At least that happened to me at some point and it got old feeling sad or unemotional so I went all out to find how to change that, otherwise life becomes a burden or boring at best and it might be a short life but it's long enough when you don't find motivation and you're not having fun most of the time.

We can change the way we perceive life, I do now, but we can't make those we love or surround ourselves with change the way they perceive theirs that's their path. I went from feeling like an outsider when I was on that side of the river and now I am the outsider on this side. I didn't appreciate enough the things that I had when I was there but I will be eternally grateful for the way I perceive what I lived then; and now instead of going against I decided to "Let Go and Go With the Flow!!...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Make it Happen on Purpose...

I just read an article written by a man who is 46 years old. I don't recall the exact details but what he wrote was a desperate cry out to anyone who might be wasting time postponing their lives, their dreams, their chance at love, their goals just to be financially sound and then start living.

He was very explicit as to how it turned out for him. Basically what happened is that he dedicated more time to his career and his work than he did to his son and his wife, so about 10 years ago the wife decided that she felt lonely and took on a lover, so she was having the life of a wife, a mother and a lover. It took him ten years to realize he had lost his wife and now that he realized it he said why did I waste all that time trying to build up a future so we could enjoy life as a family and now that I have the financial security I have no family to enjoy it with.

Even though I could see desperation for his loss and how sorry he was that he didn't realize it sooner, I don't really know how much sooner, maybe 15 years ago? I can also see it from the other side of the river.

In my experience and looking at it as something practical. First as a woman myself and having had that same experience, I was the wife of the Doctor, the caretaker, teacher, volunteer, housewife,  cook, housekeeper, gardener, pet caretaker, driver, lover and friend. I set the woman in me aside, I had no time for that, I didn't resent that my spouse was out building our economic future while I was building our family and even though I do consider having done a great job on my side, I still found myself alone at 50 and wondering why!?

To me finding myself at the total opposite end of where I thought I would wind up with the effort I decided to put into raising a family sent me on a whirlwind of emotions, that prompted me to make decisions that I never ever thought I could or would. It was as if giving myself permission to do everything wrong this time, because doing it right as I thought I was, certainly had not brought me the results I expected.

Well of course after a while of making all the wrong decisions I realized that wasn't the path either. That if I wanted to enjoy being alive rather than just existing that I had to do things in a totally different way and I set out to find which way that made sense to me and brought me the most peace and harmony. At this stage you realize that you just have to find that peace and harmony and everything else falls into place.

Right now when I read the rants of this poor 46 year old man with nothing but financial stability I think to myself, I tell you what, you give me the financial stability you have and I will show you how to enjoy your life. You are only 46 years old you still have such a long and wonderful road ahead of you. Maybe it'll be with other people to give your love to and who will love everything about you without the need to go behind your back to love another.

I don't know, I wish I was 46 and had the financial stability that you have, just go out and find happiness again in all that you have and all that you are. It's a wonderful life adventure you just have to go... Make it Happen on Purpose...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

What Happiness Isn't...

I think there are only two ways that you can look at life, as "Challenging and Painful" or as a "Happy Adventure" the situation could be the same for two individuals and one will perceive it as the first and the other as the second. So does that mean that our happiness depends on the perception we have of our lives rather than what happens in them?

We all have different values, wants, needs, realities, experiences, but should we start paying more attention to our perception rather than to what's outside? Is that what the spiritual leaders refer to as "Going inside oneself?"

I have lived it and seen it both ways, and every now and then I still experience anguish, fear and pain, but now I learned how to "Go inside myself" accept what is and change my perception.

But what if you don't seem to be getting the results you were expecting, or there are difficult and painful situations on the road to your dreams, you worked so hard at getting something only to see it fade or get taken away, you were about to reach the stars and failed, you are used to getting everything and then one day difficult challenges come your way, you wish you had made different choices, should you put Happiness on hold then until you get what you are looking for? and what if you get what you were hoping for and you're not happy then, or if you change your dreams to something else. Should the efforts you put into the things that in the end didn't work be considered a waste?

Happiness is always there even in very challenging situations because its not tied to an individual, a situation, an event, a possession, knowledge or preparation. It's not a thing we can mold or purchase, it's a decision we have to make by changing our perception.

I don't like the feeling of fear or pain anymore than anyone else, but I'm grateful to them because they allow me to exercise my perception.

What if we started today to take responsibility over our own reality and stop blaming everyone and everything else? What if we "Go inside ourselves and change our perception" give the other side of the coin a chance to shine now and then?

I believe our happiness is our responsibility! Are you taking it?

Much love xoxo
@nit@

I wish you enough...

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirits alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

~Unknown~ (part of a short story)

I wish you enough!...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

I still carry you in my Heart Every Day of My Life!

Nothing I have EVER seen has touched me as much as you did Darius. I had a younger brother, his name was David and he died of Duchenne at the young age of 14. He was like you, an AMAZING bright guy, but he wasn't as blessed as you are to have had the friends, the support, and to live to an age where he could experience some of these amazing JOYS of life. So now I live for him and for me and for all those who didn't get a chance. Keep on ENJOYING YOUR LIFE! it's like MAGIC! 

Hugs and kisses to you xoxo 
Anita

I LOVE YOU DAVID! I STILL CARRY YOU IN MY HEART EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE! 

By taking ‘BIG RISKS’ and accepting ‘WHAT IS’

So a good friend of mine asked me today how I keep my vitality and enthusiasm, and I confess I had to give that some thought, especially because when I seem to be going through a little air pocket where I feel low in physical and emotional energy due to consequences of choices I make, something comes to remind me of how far I’ve come, how much I’ve grown and continue to do so because of that vitality, insatiable curiosity and sense of wonder, so what I came up with is that I do it by taking’ ‘BIG RISKS’ and accepting ‘WHAT IS’, and in doing that I get to screw it up a lot, which helps me gain a different perspective of what I do and don’t need to do, and when I do get what I was aiming for, my appreciation charges my batteries in a way that I get anything I set my intention to. 

My intuition hasn’t let me down yet, what usually gets me is when I chose to ignore what I know intuitively that I need to do to get the results that I want.

I am happy not because of my circumstances in life, not for my possessions or the place where I live, or what I do, who I know, etc. etc. but because I chose to be. I live every single moment very intensely, not just for me but for those who can’t anymore, those who don’t know how or even question why they should, and I have come to find out that happiness is threatening to some people and it might make you feel vulnerable if you want to identify with it. Makes you feel as if it’s something that you can lose, but it’s really up to you if you do since its an emotion you chose to feel.

if I perceive whatever pain I encounter along the way as part of the same thing, I am able to embrace it and be grateful for it because of its incredible teaching power.

All I really have to do is ‘BELIEVE IN ME’ and take FULL responsibility that for every choice I make I am ‘CREATING MY OWN DESTINY’. it can’t be any other way. All I really do is pay attention to what feels right to me.

Are you taking risks? Making your life Happen on Purpose? Make ‘WHAT IS’ for you, what you want it to be.

Hugs xoxo

@nit@