A Vase with Flowers and a Colander with Skittles...

I have always had very mixed emotions about the internet and what it has done to and for humanity. On one hand it has done WONDERS what nothing else was even close to doing before. No amount of schools and teachers in the world could compare to what we can learn now just with a click of a mouse.

And lets not forget globalization, I mean how many airplanes and phones, news media in all it's fields and I don't believe we could have imagined all that the world really is behind closed doors. Now we are welcomed into people's houses to see how they all live and the worst part is that we get stuck on watching them live while we are just being the observers  of their lives, we have sex through the Internet, we fall in love, learn careers, meet people, become a part of groups, we watch how nature co-exists and the difference between co-existing and living the way humans chose to live and although now we can clearly see what works to have a fulfilled life and what doesn't even though we have with just a touch of a mouse the ability to become anything we want, that there are no limits to our abilities and that dreams were created to fulfill them, otherwise they wouldn't exist, even though we have all that I believe humanity has lost its spark.

Yes a lot of emotional people out there dedicated to causes and to stopping of destruction and harm to anything and anyone, still there is no end in sight to all the destruction others want and can do with the touch of a mouse.

I stayed away from social media for a long time, I didn't like what being on it was doing to me, it was taking me back in time when Ego was important to me so I left and felt so much better just living in the real world and trying to make a difference there with whatever I have to offer even with just a smile to whomever crosses my path, I only come here to my own "House in Cyberspace" where I write down my thoughts, feelings and emotions so that the day I'm no longer around my children can come back and see what their mother was all about, meantime I welcome all my guests with a warm hug and some words that come from the heart without trying to sell them anything!!!

Recently though I came back into Social Media at the request of my lovely daughter, she just thought it would be a better idea if I created an Instagram account just so that we could exchange our photos that way, that sounded great better than attaching them a little at a time on e-mails we may not get to for a while. So I opened my @youneedanita Instagram account and started to post my pictures.

There were pictures of our trip to México to see my stepson and of my daily life in general, her and I  love taking pictures that hold emotions behind the camera. So I took at picture of this lovely vase I found at Ross and fell in love with. The shape is a little odd and its see through turquoise colored glass. It's large and it holds the flower we buy every week for Shabbat. I put all these corks inside the vase as a daily reminder that my cork always has to be floating above water, never sinking down to the bottom.

Then my husband found this tiny little colander at World Market, also turquoise in color, the colors of my childhood, the ones I feel happiest around, so they decorate all of my house, just small touches of color surrounded by the comfort of dark woods. Then there's the flowers we choose at the supermarket wherever we happen to go on Fridays. We filled the colander with little bags of candy. I just like the colors I don't even eat sugar anymore and proud of myself for that.

I take time choosing flowers every week and do it with love and mixed emotions because it makes me sad that we cut them to beautify our space, so while I'm choosing to give them a home and care for them as best as I can until it's their time to part, I thank them for giving their life to make my space beautiful and fill it with joy from it's beauty, it's scent, it's color.

I love miniatures so we also got a tortilla presser that brought back so many memories not only of my own childhood but my children's as well. Having been raised in México allowed me to be a part of a different culture that enrich my life  so much and I wanted to give that to my children who didn't have that opportunity.


We used to make our own tortillas, I would give them dough and they would press their own on a little presser like this one and fill then with cheese and whatever they wanted, close them like a quesadilla and put them on the grill to melt the cheese inside. It was a lovely tradition that we had at the house. since they were very young My children will be here for Thanksgiving I'm sure they will see it and remember those times fondly.

So I put it all together and took a picture and post it on Instagram for my daughter to see and low and behold I started to get followers with my pictures, who are these people who see a picture and decides to like it and add me to their circle and why did they do that? Is it just the colors or could they see the love that went into all the stories that go behind "A Vase with Flowers and a Colander with Skittles". Who knows, it doesn't really matter, I'm just glad they liked it.

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

Magical Morning...

The only thing that makes a 'Morning Magical' is the way you allow yourself to perceive it. Today I felt like the luckiest woman alive because I allowed myself to see it and most of all feel it that way. I was wondering why I don't perceive it quite as good as this sometimes and the only thing I can come up with is that I have come to accept that life is ever flowing and ever changing and that it responds to your vibrations, so when I experience the results of the changes all accumulated into one morning perception, it makes me realize that it does work that way.

It's only passed 6:30 am and I've already done more than most days by 5 pm. and have enjoyed every single thing I did and appreciate the moment as my own creation, I can remember the many times I thought I'd like to have it this way and that way and that other way and there it was all there, all for me to experience and share and love and care and be loved.

My mornings with my husband remind me of those I spent with my kids while they were growing up. They were full of life and full of chaos. When they left for school I had already done a full day's worth of work and still had the whole day to cross things off the 'TO DO TODAY' List!

We start our mornings VERY early due to my husband's job, he has to be at work by 4:00 am, I had already experienced that as well back when I first got married 40 years ago to a medical student and that pattern lasted for years during his residency, social service, specialty and even into his professional years. I don't remember enjoying it at that time when I was young and fresh and full of life's dreams of the future.

So we have this pretty cool routine going on, we turn on the TV on the Argentinian Channel to watch the continuation saga of whatever Argentinian Soap Opera we might be hooked on and didn't get a chance to watch it the prior day, or to watch Mexican or Argentinian news now and then Seattle news, but that's not my choice for sure, I just go along with the program as if we were watching a sport that I don't care for but my husband does or him watching girly movies with me, he loves them just as much as I do by the way ;)

Then we share some Mate this bitter Argentinian tea drank out of a stainless steel straw. I love everything about that Tradition and isn't life made of Traditions we love and adopt? Then I made him some Eggs with Matzah, refried beans, homemade salsa picante and a Delicious cup of Organic Espresso. Now see there I go with my tradidions, just with that breakfast alone you can tell I am Jewish, Mexican, married to an Italo/Argentinian.

Then we both take showers and get ready in our two sink master bathroom, now I've had those too in my life in the past, I did appreciate that I remember, had these bathrooms in my large house when my kids were growing up and it was always a dream of mine to decorate my bathrooms so I did it in that house, painted one in bright oranges, other in turquoise, yellow and mint green, tiled the sink of another to look like a painting I saw and loved. But then I didn't have them for many years and now

that I do I appreciate them that much more. I love the feeling of being in the same room with my husband, feels like the energy my kids would inject into me when they were growing up and giving life to that huge white house where we raised them.

After getting ready we sit for some espresso while my husband has already done and put away two loads of laundry, we make a "TO DO TODAY" list, I might respond to a work e-mail or two, we plan the meal for the evening, I try to clean up as much of the chaos that he makes while he is still here, because I have to admit that once he leaves, whatever is left takes me about an hour to put back together, partially because I derive some of my energy out of his presence, he pushes me to do my best like a body-trainer of sorts and when he leaves I cheat, I sit, I drink coffee, I write, I call my mother in law, I wash the fruit, water the plants, and then in between task and task I organize the chaos.

We did other things, all fun of course, all in great company, with laughter and appreciation, we open the french doors to the little back yard, I had 1/2 acre and 7 bathrooms and felt empty inside, now my cup runeth over so I am able to perceive it with eyes of miracle, wonder, creation, dreams fulfilled, crossed out many lines off my 'Bucket List' .

Its 7:15 am and what a day awaits me. I just hung up with my husband, his first day going to work on the bus from the station that's just two blocks away, he was happy and satisfied and eager to get to work so he can finish and come home to our wonderful routines our family traditions and our walk hand in hand on our path to many more Magical Mornings and Miracle Days!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

Make it Happen on Purpose...

I just read an article written by a man who is 46 years old. I don't recall the exact details but what he wrote was a desperate cry out to anyone who might be wasting time postponing their lives, their dreams, their chance at love, their goals just to be financially sound and then start living.

He was very explicit as to how it turned out for him. Basically what happened is that he dedicated more time to his career and his work than he did to his son and his wife, so about 10 years ago the wife decided that she felt lonely and took on a lover, so she was having the life of a wife, a mother and a lover. It took him ten years to realize he had lost his wife and now that he realized it he said why did I waste all that time trying to build up a future so we could enjoy life as a family and now that I have the financial security I have no family to enjoy it with.

Even though I could see desperation for his loss and how sorry he was that he didn't realize it sooner, I don't really know how much sooner, maybe 15 years ago? I can also see it from the other side of the river.

In my experience and looking at it as something practical. First as a woman myself and having had that same experience, I was the wife of the Doctor, the caretaker, teacher, volunteer, housewife,  cook, housekeeper, gardener, pet caretaker, driver, lover and friend. I set the woman in me aside, I had no time for that, I didn't resent that my spouse was out building our economic future while I was building our family and even though I do consider having done a great job on my side, I still found myself alone at 50 and wondering why!?

To me finding myself at the total opposite end of where I thought I would wind up with the effort I decided to put into raising a family sent me on a whirlwind of emotions, that prompted me to make decisions that I never ever thought I could or would. It was as if giving myself permission to do everything wrong this time, because doing it right as I thought I was, certainly had not brought me the results I expected.

Well of course after a while of making all the wrong decisions I realized that wasn't the path either. That if I wanted to enjoy being alive rather than just existing that I had to do things in a totally different way and I set out to find which way that made sense to me and brought me the most peace and harmony. At this stage you realize that you just have to find that peace and harmony and everything else falls into place.

Right now when I read the rants of this poor 46 year old man with nothing but financial stability I think to myself, I tell you what, you give me the financial stability you have and I will show you how to enjoy your life. You are only 46 years old you still have such a long and wonderful road ahead of you. Maybe it'll be with other people to give your love to and who will love everything about you without the need to go behind your back to love another.

I don't know, I wish I was 46 and had the financial stability that you have, just go out and find happiness again in all that you have and all that you are. It's a wonderful life adventure you just have to go... Make it Happen on Purpose...

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

"If I Knew Then, What I Know Now!"

                     

There was an article my daughter sent to me January 18, 2011, exactly a year and a half ago, well I was cleaning my e-mails, too much clutter I don’t need in my life right now when I’ve become a minimizer and very little satisfies me very well, so I see this message of hers asking me to please please please read this article and to do it for her and we’d discuss it later.                                                                                                                                                              
   
Now I’m in the habit of reading everything my children take the time and effort to send to me because I love and respect their words and actions. I have learned so much from them, but this article must have gotten pushed down as new e-mails kept arriving and I had to tend to them and 1-1/2 yrs. passed and just when I was truly ready to read what was on this article it found me again, knocked at my door and said to me, “Hey you forgot about Me, remember me now? Are you ready to read me?” 
                      
 I was actually quite excited to have found it and confessed to my daughter what had happened with it and she said, "well good that you found it, you must read it slowly and take it all in, this is the right time for you to read it", so I did and it just blew me away because I recognized so much of me in it, the good part is that even though all this information is pretty new to me, a lot to take in at once, my intuition has been telling me what to do. or maybe I've just been paying attention to what it says and how it feels and seems that finally, in my older age, I’m beginning to do the right thing intuitively. 
                      
 it only took me 50+ yrs. to get it see? so I can’t possibly not do the right thing now that I know cause I am NOT willing to go through any more discomfort than absolutely necessary or waste one more second of my life, once I’ve gotten over to the other side of the river, nothing is keeping me from moving forward with the fulfillment of my dreams, as many as I can, otherwise it’s like we’ve always done, all of us, looking back and saying “If only I knew then what I know now, then I’d do it different to get better results” but that’s always hind-side, that doesn’t even count, since there is no hind-side, what’s important to remember is that NOW I KNOW BETTER, so if I ignore what I know from my own experiences, then don’t you think I deserve to get the pain and all that comes along with it? If you know now why do we keep on making the same mistakes over and over again, don’t you wonder? Here is a link to the article she sent to me, see how much of it if any, you can identify with.

Do you Love to be needed, or need to be Loved?

As with everything that I write, to whomever takes the time to read I send each and every one my Love. I receive quite a few anonymous comments, thank you for taking the time to do that, but if you ever want me to reply you must leave me your e-mail address. 

Hugs xoxo

@nit@