"By George I think I Got It!"...

We've all had one of those "I Got It! moments when something so simple that was there all along was the answer to all your questions.

A few months ago I stumbled into a YouTube channel called Mindalia Television that I recommend to anyone who understands Spanish well enough to listen to all the different perceptions and views there are out there and the many levels of understanding or even Enlightenment which is growing every day.

You can spend months listening to all the different information and might even become confused with it all, the best part for me is that it's all free access to anyone who wants to know, those of us who are in search of answers to Mysteries of Life and beyond; it's not because of the cost as much as that fact alone gives it more credibility to me because nobody is trying to sell you an idea, they are just expressing or sharing on their views and you make the decision of what clicks with yours.

What I do is I pay attention to the similarities they have, the things they all have in common and I make my own conclusions combining what they say with what makes sense to me according to my own life Adventure as I've always chosen to call it which now I understand is actually wherever I'm at in my own level of Consciousness.

If I go back to what I've written here over the years before I knew any of this information existed, I realize I always knew what my heart was telling me was right, that life is simple, that everything is LOVE, that we are all one creating our own individual experience in order to reconnect back to "Oneness" as it's called and that the talents and dreams that we come with are there for a reason and just have to focus on doing what we LOVE which is what we ARE and let life flow as it comes, just like the River does, instead of living in FEAR which is not what we ARE.

This last month I've been focusing on this one man's perception of LIFE as we know it and it all clicked for me.

He goes into every aspect of LIFE and much more than that with as much detail and uses metaphors that we can all relate to. Like for example he says we are not our bodies or minds or even emotions, all those are "bodies" individual from each other. So we have our physical body, our emotional body and our mind body and then there's us, pure consciousness, pure energy, pure LOVE.

He puts the example of the physical body as the car we ride in for this life Adventure we chose. We don't identify with it or any of the other bodies that drive us through this Adventure, we just take care of them and use them for the purpose they were created for, the mind is to read a book, learn a subject, you don't identify with it either, you are the observer, not the thinker.

I won't go into all of the rest, everyone has to make their own interpretation to suit their level of consciousness, the point here is that when something comes to my life that makes sense to me and that something resonates with every cell in my body I feel a total sense of relief, as if I was carrying a heavy load and all of a sudden I feel like skipping in the park like I did when I was a little girl. That's the best description I can give it.

I may not "like" every thought that comes into my "Mind Body" every emotion in my "Emotional Body" or everything in my "Physical Body" but since I don't identify with them and they are the ones I decided to "Embody" when I came down into this 3D Adventure I give them my essence which is LOVE and that makes me LOVE the Adventure for all that it is and flow with it.

"By George I Think I Got It!"

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

Etiology Unknown...

It all started towards the end of 1981 and why I remember this so vividly is because of how it impacted me when I heard those words for the first time. We were already living in Chicago, I remember the year because I turned 30 in that job and that would have been January of 1982.

My boss was a Neuro-Psychiatrist in other words a double boarded Neurologist and also Psychiatrist who practiced both at the same time. His patients had emotional problems but most of them due to major diseases such as Multiple Sclerosis or ALS for example. So he would deal with the physical aspect of their illness and the Psychological crisis they found themselves in once they were given a life sentence diagnosis.

It was only him and I in the office, I was 29, married to a Doctor myself so I knew all these things for years, however I never stopped fearing something like this could happen to me. I was surrounded by it all day long, I took dictation about it, that's all I heard it made me think. What if that was me?

The worst part were the first two words of the dictation I received on all these patients from the doctor so I could transcribe it and put it in their chart as well as send it as a report to their referring physician. The first time he dictated them to me I have to confess I had no idea what they meant so I asked him right away,  I need to understand everything I write so I can do my best transcription job not just that of a parrot.

He would start most of his reports with "Etiology Unknown". You have to understand that he was this older doctor in his 70s who had set a routine for himself he never changed. He would golf on Wednesdays rain sleet or snow didn't stop him, there were always the orange golf balls they were easier to spot on the snow. He was Jewish just like I am so that's why he liked me when he hired me I could tell. It was like helping your own. I did have a lot of experience as a secretary and like I said married to a doctor so that helped of course.

So Dr. Sherman RIP and his routine made him dictate the same things for most of his patients. Etiology Unknown means that they basically don't know what caused their terrible disease they will either have for life or die from sooner than expected.

That got me to think all of these scientists all of these discoveries, all of these chemicals and just for what? to prolong something that is supposed to have no resistance to it, makes no sense to me, chemicals may kill a cancer but they also kill other parts of that body of yours that were not supposed to die. Why would anybody want to prolong their life with chemicals fixing one thing while killing another. What kind of a life is that, is it important to live longer or is it to live the best way we can while we can.

We are totally responsible for our own well being. I have things in this body of mine that all of a sudden began to appear out of nowhere, things I never experienced before including allergies, I have patches of red on my arms, my legs, I had to go to 5 doctors who didn't know what it was until I had it biopsied and it's some autoimmune disease, or in other words "Etiology Unknown" all these top dermatologists were giving me very strong creams and warned me to use sparingly, they would make the spots go and when I'd stop they'd come back, so by remembering those two words I decided to stop all chemicals and went a different route this time.

I went the longer way, the natural way, the way that takes more of your time and dedication, the one that follows the rules of nature because those are the real rules, the rules of man are man made and who says that the man that made that rule is a better one than the one nature created. The one where you have to eat the right things not those that taste better. Be kind to others so you can receive kindness, love and let others love you, give your all to everything you do most of all do what you love.

Now I go to a Naturopathic Doctor who listens to how I feel inside, who prescribes only natural supplements to help heal the damage done, things to detoxify my body from chemicals and metals that now appear in nature thanks to man. I have to pay this out of my pocket of course because Insurance companies will pay for you to get well the man made way not the natural way, if you are a responsible human being trying your hardest to live a good natural life you're on your own! Natural supplements can actually be more expensive than chemicals and you have to take more of them to even out the little pill. So for now I get what I can with what I have and try to take better care of myself in general.

Little by little I've noticed I've started to heal. My joints don't hurt anymore nor do my extremities, I've also started to lose some weight and I'm proud to report that my food intake has gone to a healthy 95% of what I ingest is actually good for me. I found out that my body is sensitive to things I ate my whole life like corn, sugar, dairy, grains, wheat, oat, spelt, peanuts, strawberries, I'm even sensitive to broccoli, cauliflower, eggplant, I'm mentioning these because they were all part of my diet, I thought I was eating the right things and in fact I wasn't.

I'm very proud that I took the time to find all this out, then went along with the program and eliminated all of those things from my diet, they added up to 35. Most of them were on my plate every day one or another. I no longer eat breads or pastas (except for Brown Rice or Quinoa Pasta), deserts, no sugar on anything or dairy. There goes my beloved Quesadillas!!!

I had to re-invent the way I ate and what and do that while living in a house with a great cook who loves to prepare delicious meals that he knows I love, who doesn't restrict himself with anything and eats it in front of me. It actually makes him sad to see me restricting myself so much but my determination and control make me feel very good about myself, even though the weight is coming down slowly and after moving to this new apartment I haven't been exercising. I made a new promise to myself. Today I put on a Zumba video and I'm starting an every day 30 min. dance routine. Get that blood pumping and those extra unwanted curves letting go of my body. I want to be at my best so I can give others coming from a better place.

I don't know if I can eventually revert all the damage I might have caused to my body with all the chemicals I ingested over the years, things for cholesterol, osteoporosis, headaches, stomach aches, colds, flus, things doctors tell you you HAVE to take or else you will keep deteriorating. Also with all the things I ate for over 60 yrs. of my life processed food filled with chemicals and who knows what all else is around in everything, including our water.

I was the one who stopped exercising, the one who started to eat all the good things I love, the food that kept me company, broke my boredom, satiated some desire, I was happy with my life so why did I need to feed my body to the point where it became unhealthy and difficult to handle.

I know the energy is there, as is the desire to live a good and healthy lifestyle for as long as my body and my mind stay healthy. Whatever part I can control in having success at a better outcome I may do it at my pace but you better believe that I will go into that Etiology Unknown world and beat it with Love, Dedication, Responsibility and Trust.

Thank you Dr. Janci Karp ND!

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

The Day I Became Happy!!!...

For sure you don't think I'm going to be a spoiler and give you the punch line right from the start, first you have to come with me to find out why I had to become happy or why I wasn't till that day came.

I used to know this sociopath who curiously taught me two important things, a wise person said it to him years back and like all he did he would repeat things other's said, he had no personality of his own. "Siempre Hay un Día Cierto" he would say ALL the time. If we translate that literally it doesn't make much sense... but what it's saying is "The Day You've been Waiting for Always Comes". The other thing he would repeat was "No Pasa Nada!" and what that means is "Don't Worry about Anything, Nothing Will Happen" and the funny thing is that although he would say it all the time if anything that he perceived to be bad happened to him he would fall apart, he would say it so much around me that I started saying it too but what started happening to me was that I started realizing that the words took on a huge role in how I started to perceive my life. 

I don't really remember well how my mind worked before I could perceive my life the way I do now. I do remember however always living in a cloud of doubt, or sometimes it changed into one of fear with little rays of sun seeping through the clouds, then there was rain and thunder and back to sunshine for a while.

I don't know when the change started to occur within me, I think it started the day I perceived that I had lost everything that was important to me and I came to the realization that I could never get it back the way it was. I remember the internal turmoil I had but at the same time I also remember feeling a sense of relief.

I felt relief because there I was still standing and even though my life seemed to be crumbling down right before my eyes, I was still standing. I woke up one day and started to check all the parts in me. I made a mental list of all my parts and wrote a checklist in my mind. 

The first part was my body, is it still there? Yup, checkmark, still there intact. Same little pain here and there that I had before but otherwise still intact.

Then I went to the mind and checked there, what types of thoughts did I have, was I depressed? suicidal? on the contrary, I had this sense of sadness but relief at the same time, why? what did I need relief from I thought? oh yeah, my fears that's what. I remember living my whole life with fearful thoughts about something, it didn't much matter what the "Fear du Jour" was, but it was always something. And so imagine how it feels when you check your mind at the moment when you realize that all that I was always afraid of happening happened all at once and there I was still standing. I didn't have anything to be afraid of anymore, it all happened, now what, was I going to invent another reason to be afraid or get up and start living without fear and see what happens then?

And while I was in there checking my mind I also realized that all those dreams that I had once put on hold to create the life I thought I wanted only to lose it and never get it back, those dreams had not gone away after all those years, they were still alive and waiting on the sidelines for me to realize that my purpose in life was to fulfill them. If not why were they still there waiting and why did they show up right now when my abilities to make them happen are at an all time low. Why didn't they show up when I was rich and had my own house and grew my own food, why didn't they appear then or why did I shove them to the side rather, cause apparently they never left me. 

So my mind not only was there, now it was excited and making a lot more sense than it did when I had it all covered with fear clouds.

So once I checked the body and the mind I had to go to the most important part, the heart and that's when I felt a sense of what my purpose was and seeing that didn't have anything else to lose I went out to find out who I was and what I was capable of doing to fulfill all those dreams that had been patiently waiting on the sidelines while I thought I was "Making Life Happen On Purpose" when in reality it was the total opposite.

In the final equation my life scores were as follows:

A-   Body - A little out of shape but tending to that with the right tools this time

A+  Mind - "Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World!"

A+  Heart - Yup, still there, beating hard and filled with dreams and gratitude!!!

A+  Goals and Dreams - Checking things off my "Bucket List" all the time!

A+  Fear - Dead and Cremated

Of course my life isn't as perfect as the scores claim that it is, what's perfect is that "The Days I've Been Waiting For Always Come" and I don't worry about anything anymore, now I love the clouds as much as I love the sun and I learned to be Grateful about my "Life Adventure". 

I wake up every day excited wondering what it will bring to me. 

It's a process taking full responsibility for all your thoughts, feelings and actions, acceptance of what life brings your way and a change of perception and attitude towards life. That's "The Day I Became Happy!"

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

My Birthday Suit...

My birthday suit doesn't fit anymore. What happened to my body? What happened to the suit? It used to fit so tight, smooth silky supple, wrapped so tightly that it made me look like a little sausage.Then it grew when I grew, filling and stretching around every milestone, bulging with me, allowing me to keep my belongings comfortably sheltered and offering me protection from the wear and tear of daily fulfillment.

You never seemed to care how I treated you. I burnt you, skinned you cut you, abused you with unhealthy diets and customs knowing you would always bounce back. And then one day you seemed awkward, uncomfortable, not quite what I was used to.

I don't know when it started happening but it did happen slowly almost imperceptibly, until one mirror morning I couldn't believe my tired eyes. What devastation, my suit no longer fit. It sagged in the wrong places, melted off of old chronic fixtures, and showed harrowing evidence of the battle. Scared, blemished and unforgiving. Unrecognizable except for the reminders of times past, not unlike the marred surface of an ancient tree who's only history can be found in its rings.

My suit is abandoning me, reluctant to regenerate once more, becoming more of a hindrance than a companion, apparently wanting to fade off the mannequin before its put away into storage. I'm sorry my friend. I took you for granted, and now I expect you to fit like yesterday. Maybe a trip to the skin tailor for a rejuvenating nip and tuck to delay the inevitable.

No, I think will gently give in and shed you in time. Thank you for standing with me throughout the battle. You were there for the good and the bad. Ill try to be gentler on you. Stitch up the gaps, soothe the abrasions, and prop up the stance not unlike Dali would his timepiece.

Hang in there as you always have. Be assured you will only be retired alongside me when Father Time and Sir Isaac Newton quit.

Marco