Showing up, Being Yourself and Taking Action!...

And it JUST came to me as I was about to go back to sleep, I had these sleepless couple of hours we sometimes have when we have to get up for some reason and then can't fall back to sleep, so I stood outside on the patio, leaned on the old concrete wall, stared at the beauty of it all, thought of the decisions I'm about to make and decided to ask my Angels for a sign, I want to listen to my intuition this time instead of to my emotions so much, they stir me wrong sometimes what can I say, I'm definitely having a full blown human experience.

So I finally get into bed, now I can close my eyes, and in my slumber try to listen to that intuition and maybe there'll be a sign somewhere, I open my blog to write an idea for an article so I won't forget by tomorrow, but first comes the horoscope I receive every day, I must confess I know very little or almost nothing about Astrology, but my daughter and some friends do and it stirs my curiosity, well this one I receive is spot on to what my life goes through on a day to day basis, I usually read it at night so I won't be influenced by it in any way, in essence reading what already transpired so I started to read what it said for today and there was the sign I asked for, it was so clear I had to smile at my 'Angels' and be in gratitude that the answer was right in front of my eyes, or wasn't I paying attention to my own words of advice I give others? shouldn't they also apply to me? ...

My Horoscope AstroSync

Aquarius By Rick Levine There's no need to show off your cleverness today, for those close to you already know that you're very smart. Instead of overstating your case or rambling on too long about your latest great idea, just show up and be yourself. Your intelligence shines through your actions as well as your words, so walk your talk instead of trying to convince others that your plan is the best one. So show up, be yourself and take action. I think I better go do the same! Hugs xoxo @nit@

Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World....The Sequel

Now and again I go back to my old posts just to check how my life has progressed and changed since I wrote it, and I have to proudly report that I'm no longer two legs short of a 5 legged stool :) however outside of that part, my original thoughts still stand, and I'm pretty sure always will.

Hope you enjoy reading it either for the first time or again, and that you are all 'Making Life Happen on Purpose'.

Hugs always xoxo

@nit@

Here goes again....

I often wonder if I read that phrase somewhere, or made it up in a moment of solace and despair. I just remember thinking one day that I felt as if I was 'Parallel Parked, in a Perpendicular World' because I can't see life the way most people do.

I have spent the past 5 yrs. of my life getting to know my inner Source, and came to the conclusion that I was right all along, I'm definitely Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World.

In these past 5 yrs. I discovered that I had no idea how life worked for the first 52 yrs. so can you imagine all of a sudden waking up at 52 and saying OMG you gotta be kidding me, I was just doing it the way I was taught.

OK so I say well I'm a bit beaten up and exhausted, I put a LOT into my life and it failed me in many ways, but I ain't quitting now that I figured out how it works. 'Lets Make Life Happen on Purpose.' this time.

So I get all excited, put on my rugged boots, some comfortable jeans, I know I have a long haul here because the more I read, the more I realize how much I need to learn.

I get bombarded with information, it comes from so many different sources, and every one of them claims to be the best one. And of course I want to learn all of it so I can mold my destiny the right way this time, but it gets overwhelming when you keep on reading that so many people claim to know just the right secret. And the one thing that they all have in common is that if you don't learn their secret, you'll never be able to mold your destiny the way you want to.

So I rise up to the occasion and I go to the seminars and take on the courses, read the books and listen to the tapes and that's not easy because you have to earn a living and you have responsibilities to fulfill, and I'm still sitting here behind my desk thinking "I know all of this but what's the secret to getting it faster, I'm missing an element here. From what you tell me I should have gotten everything I dream of and then-some and I'm still two legs short a five legged stool.

There wouldn't be enough hours in a month to do the things I'm supposed to do in a day if I followed everyone's advice.

I mean don't take me wrong, I owe A LOT to all of the people out there who give so freely of yourselves and you are so dedicated to your cause, my admiration and outmost gratitude, I'd be even further behind without you, but in the very humble opinion of a simple, caring, middle-aged Mexican/Jewish/American and soon to be Israeli woman, I actually believe life is very simple, a lot of people resist change and everyone goes their own way, there is way too much negative energy out in the world for it to work in harmony. You can try to make a dent and you guys are doing an awesome job at that, but the negative energy still permeates the air and it gets tiring to be constantly pushing against it. Seems that most people rather suffer than change.

I've said this many times, we all have a talent, a gift, something we are passionate about, we ought to give freely of our gift to others who need it, since we love doing it anyways, and then others can share their gift and we can all have everything. Do you see that ever happening?

If everyone did that we wouldn't need meditation and there wouldn't be wars because we would be in a constant state of serenity and zest for life instead of so much turmoil and chaos, nobody would lack for anything. All of mankind's advances are amazing, but sometimes I think that the more we create the more we destroy.What we need to do is go back to basics and start teaching all of the new generations how it works so we can stop the chaos instead of perpetuating it or contribute to making it worse.

I never want to stop learning and teaching, to me that's what keeps life challenging and interesting, never complacent or boring.

I'm on my own mission, while enjoying learning to live in the moment, no matter what, just for right now I have everything I need, and since now is all there is, I have everything all the time. I guess I'm just happy "Making my Life Happen on Purpose"

Hugs everyone xoxo
@nit@

Breaktime...

So yesterday started a little bit different, I went off to run some errands I'd been postponing for lack of time and they needed to get done, I planned my day the night before, I'm getting a little better at that than just waving it and trusting it'll unfold well, of course a day NEVER turns out as planned, it sometimes turns out better sometimes worse, but never as planned.

My morning went great, I'd say better than planned, I was done with everything and thensome a little after 11, almost as planned, and then the day started to go wrong. After a few frustrating hours waiting for an important call that never came, I decided to go home and do something positive with my free time, but the hours before and the uncertainty left me uncomfortable all afternoon. Then came night time, now that was what turned my whole day around. I agreed to go out when I really didn't feel like it, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to be around people, I'm usually pretty talkative and didn't feel like making conversation or meeting strangers, and I still was feeling uncomfortable about the afternoon because I hadn't had a chance to talk it out in order to be able to let it go, but once I got out of the house the whole perception of the day began to change.

I have to confess that I had a sensational time, so much so that a few of these people wound up at our house where we lit a great fire, had some snacks, drank some tequila, listened to music, watched videos and shared photos, sang, danced, told stories and enjoyed getting to know each one of these lovely people who I now consider to be friends, and we stayed up till 7 am. when nobody could keep their eyes open any longer and we all decided to go get some sleep.

Now today of course I paid for it cause most of the day I spent it just lying down doing nothing, but that was good too, I certainly wouldn't have given up last night for a day's rest.

My days are all like that, some more exciting or interesting or accomplished, etc. than others, but each one of them an adventure. Today I read my Horoscope and this is what it said:

Aquarius

By Rick Levine

Everything seemed so straightforward before you actually began to execute your rather simplistic plan. You realize that you have to stabilize your recent explosive growth or you could risk losing what you've already gained. Sticking to your agenda makes sense, but only up to a certain point. Following a hunch and reconsidering your direction may be the smartest thing you can do now. Just remember that taking lots of small steps is more reliable than just a few giant ones.

And when I got to the part that said 'you have to stabilize your recent explosive growth or you could risk losing what you've already gained'. it made me think that maybe I'm going too fast and should slightly put on the breaks, just so that I don't let the ride get out of control, somehow my instincts are telling me to do that.

Last night one of my new friends said to keep on doing whatever it is I've been doing if I want to get to where I see myself, and believe me nothing is going to stop me now, I just need to "Slightly put on the breaks"....

Here's to your great ride.

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

For the last time... LET MY PEOPLE GO!!! NOW!!!

Jag Sameach everyone, everywhere!!!.....

Happy Pesach/Passover

Hugs xoxo

@nit@

The Complete Circle

by Ilana

It's absolutely fascinating how you can spend your whole life in opposition with something about yourself. It takes a whole process of hating it, picking at it, trying to change it, ignoring it, making excuses for it, finding justice within it, blaming others, causing destruction. And then one day, you see. You see why its part of who you are, you see how it serves you, you see that it can only be that way. But it took the process of suffering and aberration to get to that point.

Where are we heading? We don't know. None of us really know. Yet the small cycles we witness that go full circle within our lives are teachers of what we are in now. Along the cycle there may be moments of ups, and downs, but you're still going round. No matter what, you are still going round. And eventually, no matter what, you will reach the end of your cycle, only to begin a new one.

What about when you're dreading something with all your being, feeling like you will die if this particular thing happens. And then it happens. And at first, you feel like you are going to die, anguish possesses your being. And then...comes this soft, spirited air that envelops your body and lets you see clearly- as if a grace from God. You are free. Freer than you could ever feel in your whole being or imagine with all your mind and heart.

Is there good? Is there bad? Can we have one without the other? I don't think so. They create each other. They are one and the same. The good is bound to bring the bad for we cannot stay in that state for eternity. And the bad brings the good. So is there such thing, really, as duality? In this world it primarily appears so. But with close observation and an open mind you might see the complete circle.

When Lanny comes marching home again hurrah, hurrah!!!

So about a month ago I’m talking to my daughter on the phone and she was asking me what my life was like in San Miguel, when I realize that what I’m describing to her is ‘Magical’; I must have sounded very convincing because 24 hrs. later she had made arrangements to put together some free time to come visit me, had found herself an inexpensive flight from Boston to Mexico City, and right now I’m on the bus on my way to DF to pick her up and begin a new adventure with one of the two most important people in my life.

It’s been almost a year since we last hugged each other, the phone is great and we stay in touch daily, but there is no substitute for wrapping your arms around your children.

Yesterday I was shockingly reminded of the frailty of our lives with the untimely and tragic death by a freak accident of a woman still full of life and dreams of the future. She left behind a loving family, and amongst them two daughters, who like my Lanny and I, also happened to be best friends. So how do you cope with the loss of your mother, mostly when it was so totally unexpected?

I recently lost my mother, she was only 77 yrs. old, and just before she died, what she wanted more than anything was to see me happy, Although we had been preparing for that dreadful day for sometime because her body was too ill and she was in constant pain, when that day came. what I grieved about the most was that I couldn’t give her what she wanted, because my load in life at the time was rather heavy.

It’s been almost 3 yrs. since the day I lost her, but she will live in me forever, so I needed to make sure and give her what she wanted, and now that I am in a happy place in my life, and make every moment count, I can celebrate her life instead of mourning her death.

So Lanny and I have fantastic plans for the next two weeks. We will tour DF and various cities nearby, visit ruins, museums, go to the hot springs, get a spa treatment, take long walks with Diego, go horsebackriding, etc. but most of all we will create a stronger bond and lifetime memories. I’ll have to get back into scrapbooking because this trip promises to give us enough material to create a great album.

I can’t wait to hug you my child!

To the whole Barbieri family, my most heartfelt sympathy, that comes from a place of understanding and love. May you all find peace in the wonderful memories of a life well lived, and may you continue to find happiness in your own lives, the best way to honor hers.

I want to take a moment to thank all of you who take time to read my words. I write mostly for myself because its through my writings that I manage to view my life from a distance, but like a friend of mine once told me,

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? " and nothing makes me happier than to know that I made a difference in someone's life, even those of you I don't know and most likely will never get to meet, you all matter to me, so I cherish your comments.

Thank y'all!

Hugs everyone

@nit@

Coming home after 33 years....

It would take me a long time to tell you about all of the experiences that I had in the past 33 yrs. of my life since I decided to pack up and leave to find something "better" than what I was leaving behind. I wouldn't have missed one single experience I had, the good and the bad for anything, but the real winner is that all of that just made me realize that I didn't really need to go anywhere looking for it, and I only found that out after I had been gone for so long and once I got back home.

A couple of months ago I started heading down slow first from Israel to New York on my way back to San Diego. I can't explain what it felt like to land in New York, even though I'd only been to that city a few times in my life, just landing there made me feel I was back where it started to feel like home from a very far away land =) simply because I was. The first thing I noticed is that I felt that everything was back to easy for me, I understood the language perfectly, amongst other things...

OK so Diego (a rescued dog off the streets of Tel Aviv) and I arrived to San Diego and there is my ex-husband's girlfriend to pick me up at the airport. That's the part where everyone always keeps telling me that I'm crazy, but I actually believe that I'm the sane one, just think about it, what are the end results of getting along so well with my ex-husband and his girlfriend as well? the result is first what values we're teaching to our kids, no matter what I love and respect my husband and always will, and as for his girlfriend, she treats me like a sister, makes me feel at home in what now is her home and has been more helpful to me than any friend or family member. So I say if the end result of our efforts and appreciation for maintaining a close and loving relationship is getting love and care and good wishes, to me that seems very sane don't you think?

Back to the Story where were we? oh yeah we are at the Airport in San Diego, me and Diego, he is finally out from his confinement ordeal, poor little one, good thing I managed to take him out at the Airport in NY just to pee :)

That first day in San Diego was INTENSE, my senses and thoughts were on overload. I was making a few stops along the way, but this time I was going to go back home, home was calling me, I was now stronger after that Water River Rafting period of my life, living a much more normal and exciting existence, but I started to miss home I believe for the first time since I left 33 yrs. ago.

The rest of my visit in San Diego was just like a dream, and a very intense one at that. First I was invited to my girlfriend Jackie's house for the second time, she opened her doors to me before I left for Israel and then again once I got back. I'll forever be grateful to her and her son Jack and lets not forget Dixie, sorry girl for Diego invading your space, and thank you for gracefully sharing it with him ;)

The end of my stay I spent with my ex and his girlfriend, they have a lovely apartment right downtown with views that never end. Well deserved you guys!!

But the real reason why I was back in San Diego on my way home was my son. I had been visited by my daughter while in Israel but my son wasn't able to take time off and I missed him TERRIBLY!!!!! The first time I got together with him after not seeing each other for almost two years was a feeling of complete joy, warmth, trust and comfortable familiarity, in a way as if you never left except that because you did you appreciate it that much more. We talked for hours, we had so many things to share. We saw each other several times again and each time I felt better knowing he was content with his life and always moving in the right direction.

Paty was at the Airport in Mexico City waiting for me, then took me to eat "Quesadillas del Maria Isabel". Now that to me was the best welcome back home I could have had. Who needs a Parade when you can have "Quesadillas del Maria Isabel." ;) I was excited thinking about the High-school reunion we were having in 3 days and all the friends I was going to see again.

So how was the reunion you ask? where are you now? what have you been doing for the past two months since you got back home? have you gone anywhere, done anything special, it hasn't been that long after all!!!!

Well let me tell you that what I have seen, been to, accomplished, experienced etc. etc. mostly thanks to all the people who have crossed my path in these past two months has been an astonishing realization of longtime dreams. I'll start by saying that no matter where these present realities take me, they just came into my life to show me that no matter how long you dream a dream, if you persevere, if you maintain them alive, if you don't lose the faith or the patience, and just relax in the thought that one day they will happen while always continue to move in their direction, remembering never to listen to anyone who tells you that you are too much of a dreamer.

The reunion was fantastic, there were more people than we expected. I love these reunions because it makes me realize that with a very small and yet enjoyable effort, for a few short hours of our lives, we manage to go back into that place in our hearts where we still hold our childhood, in which we are surrounded by people who were part of our history and after all these years and whatever life has brought to each one of us, we are always happy to share on each other's success as well as being there in times of need.

The rest of my stay in Mexico City was also a dream. Paty was like a sister and we did so many things together in that phenomeal 'City of Mine!!!!' almost nothing looks the same as it did when I grew up there.

We went to Tepoztlan, a very quaint town that reminds me of Sedona, Arizona, spiritual healing, crystals, spas, photos and interpretation of your aura, beautiful crafts, the town was lovely and us three girls had a grand time.

Went to Cuernavaca to visit my dad, that was a very memorable day for me. I spent 8 hrs. making my dad and two of my aunts I didn't know were there very happy to have company, they live in a Jewish retirement facility that I've known since I was a kid, but only this time I was visiting my dad. Right there, in that place I decided I will always do whatever it takes to be independent and live home hopefully with a partner by my side!!!! until the day I'm ready to kick the bucket ;)

In DF we went to many restaurants, to do the Hair Salon thing, got a new look for myself, visited places and ate things I had been craving for years. I went back for New Years and we had a BLAST!!! with other friends from the past.

I could go on for hours telling you all I did in DF and surrounding towns, went downtown to see the decorations for Christmas, of course Sanborns has to be in the equation a few times, so was visiting with my dearest friends from my Jewish organization, and my girlfriends from school and work, I wouldn't want to miss seeing them, and what about my cousins, most of all Jane, she knows how much I love her! my visit to the Cementery to see my little brother, my grandparents and all the friends and family members who left before we did, may they all rest in peace....but my biggest and most rewarding surprise of them all was my visit and subsequent reconcilliation with my brother. We had been at odds with each other for some time now, but that afternoon he invited me to his office and I agreed to go visit him there, everything negative I ever felt before just melted away and he became my big brother again. That alone was worth the trip.

We go through things we move to places, we meet new people, we take new risks, but we NEVER give up on the dream, and literally as everyone who talks about this says "When you LEAST expect it..."

In San Miguel I had rented an apartment on the internet and am lucky enough to have great neighbors, we've adopted each other!!!

One day my neighbor and I, we hang together every day at some point and this time we wanted to see if we could broaden our horizons as far as people were concerned.

We picked a social lunch for people who get together every Wednesday at 2 pm. to eat and experience different restaurants. There can be 5 people who show up or there can be almost 30 people like there were that time, so we walk in at 2 and everyone is already sitting around this gorgeous garden restaurant, they've already ordered drinks, which tells me they've been there for a little while at least, there are two places visibly open for us to sit, I wonder if they knew we were coming ;) but the places happened to be strategically apart from each other. At that moment I thought to myself, what on earth am I doing here, this is not normally my scene, and on top of it I have to make small conversation with these people around me, who live around town, pretty soon I'll be walking down the streets and waving like Evita Peron at everyone I've met, and all I really wanted to do was have a good meal and make comments about it with my friend, and she was way out there at the other end meeting other people as I was.

The woman next to me was very interesting, I wanted to hear more about her life. She had lived on a boat a few years, then came here and became a psychologist, she works through Skype mostly abroad, does laughter therapy and she is 77 yrs. old, like my mom was when she passed away, I'll have to ask her to teach me a few tricks, I bet you I can learn a lot from her, and well, laughter is something I do all the time anyways, so that should make the learning easier.

On my other side were other nice people, one lady had the same name as an aunt of mine my mom used to love a lot, we grew up around a lot of family so it brought good memories from childhood, I know whenever I see her again I'll know her name and that's a good feeling :) I was finding myself enjoying the experience more than I expected I would and then at the other end a woman stood up and introduced herself, she told us her name, who she was, hold long she'd been living here, what type of business she had, and asked if we would introduce ourselves. We went around the table until they got to me, so I told them who I was, where I'd been and ended with what I wanted, which was a job, maybe my own radio talkshow, I wanted to do voiceovers and translations, and just like that the woman who had started the introductions said, come to my office I'll hire you.

My friend and I finished lunch and left, we went to look for an apartment first but it wasn't available so we said lets go see about that job and we did. When we got there we were directed to a small office upstairs. There was a large wooden table, large enough for say 8 people, she was sitting at the head, to her side was a young man who was next to her at lunch and another guy who was there too, so I knew then they worked for her as well. They quickly explained what they did and it seemed to me that I had found a nitch, it was what I knew how to do plus what I wanted to do which was translations and voice work. I was anxious to start and see where this experience would take me, but what I wanted more than that was to find out who the guy sitting on her left was. She had introduced him as her attorney but did he work there? was he single? Who was that handsome Argentinean? Moriah and Laura would be wondering as I'm sure are all my other friends ;)

I started the job the next morning and I got to do things I always wanted to do, however I quickly realized I'm better off doing it as a freelancer, that way I can do many other things and keep a balanced life which is exactly why I came here in the first place.

So as we stand right now I have a lot of things going on all the time, I'm out there in the World trying to "Make My Life Happen on Purpose" I try to visit DF at least once a month, yesterday I celebrated one of THE MOST memorable and enjoyable birthdays of my life, I had a gorgeous bouquet of flowers brought to me by a handsome Argentinean who cooked a delicious meal for me and invited my neighbors to share on the feast. You should have seen the dining room table, it looked like those parties that my mom used to throw now and then, the one thing she would always do was make sure that there was TOO MUCH FOOD!!!!!! I also got cards and calls and messages from a lot of people who always make me feel loved and cared for, ESPECIALLY MY KIDS!!! it's for all my friends and family, to whom I don't often have the opportunity to write and keep you up to date with my adventures, that I write this entry, with an ENORMOUS sense of appreciation to each and every one of you for being a part of my life. I always try to make sure to be in appreciation, and to let those who have in any way impacted my life know that I'm truly grateful.

I owe a lot of you who have asked me for a short recount of my two year life experience in "The Holy Land" I will try to write it soon and will name it "Roaches, Humidity and Bats... OH MY!!!" we'll see how fast I can get to that. In the meantime I take this moment to encourage you to follow your dreams no matter what they are...

And now I'm off to continue to "Make my Life Happen on Purpose", and in pursuit of new dreams. I have places to go, things to do and people to see. I can't wait to see what life has in store for me :) Next time I go to San Diego I have to remember to take a picture at the beach and this time write on the sand the words "BEEN FOUND!!" and change it for the picture at the opening of my blog ;)

Hope to hear from y'all soon, or better yet, come visit!! :)

Hugs,

@nit@

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real...

FEAR

by Ilana

It´s dark out, and you´re home alone. The house is quiet other than the sound of the show you are watching on TV. You see it and hear it at the same time. The front door is suddenly thrown against the door frame. Your breathing speeds up. Your heart races. Your muscles tighten.

A split second later, you know it´s the wind. No one is trying to get into your home, you are safe. For a split second you reacted as if your life were in danger, your body initiating the fight-or-flight response that is critical to any animal´s survival. But really, there was no danger at all. What happened to cause such an intense reaction?

FEAR - an emotion mentally and physically paralyzing. We´ve all experienced it. We wouldn´t be human otherwise. Today, I want to talk to you about FEAR.

Fear is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fast breathing, and energized muscles, among other things - also known as the fight-or-flight response. Does this response sound familiar to you?

The brain is a profoundly complex organ. More than 100 billion nerve cells compromise an intricate network of communications that is the starting point of everything we sense, think and do. Some of these communications lead to conscious thought and action, while others produce autonomic responses. The fear response is almost entirely autonomic. We don´t consciously trigger it or even know what´s going on until it has run its course. The stimulus could be a spider, a knife at your throat, the sudden thud of your front door, or even speaking before a room full of people.

An what is the number one fear humans have? Public Speaking! Jerry Seinfeld illustrated it well - ¨According to most studies, people´s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, If you go to a funeral, you´re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.¨

Today, I speak here before you about FEAR to point something out. Some of you may already be aware, some of you may not. But, nevertheless, I cannot let this opportunity to speak my mind go by without making sure I said my peace.

Each one of us boldly faced the number one fear humans have. I do not think anyone should downplay the courage they have shown in this classroom nor forget about it. In the future, at times when fear seems to be seeping in, remember the power that resides within you and the strength you exhibited in this classroom. This course isn´t even a requirement and the fact that each one of us got up here - multiple times, well, I personally think that deserves recognition.

So, whether your biggest fear IS public speaking, or sharks, or the dark, or something absurd like the fear of red socks - whatever it may be, congratulations to all of you for the completion of this course. And thank you Professor Piccillo for your wisdom and guidance throughout it.

Man's Harshest Foes...Mother Nature and Father Time

Humans are straddled with unsurmountable challenges, from the moment of conception until dust turns to dust. If anyone looks back at their lives and evaluates the challenges, hurdles and burdens they have had to overcome just to exist, many would question whether the effort justified the legacy.

It appears that every critical movement made in our lives, is a decision between good and bad, right and wrong, do or die. The outcome of those choices can only be properly assessed in hindsight, when the dust from the battle has settled and we can then count with clarity all the casualties left behind. It is the expectation of humanity that we constantly walk through the right door, even though the laws of aging and time are antithetical to experience and wisdom.
The traditional hope is for us to become wiser and consequently better as time and maturity set in. And yet in order to achieve homeostasis with our environment we are naturally doomed to make enormous errors in judgement from which we are to learn the lessons in life. It is almost like we are fighting ourselves and our birthright ignorance, in an attempt to fortify and toughen the positions we take when we confront our fellow man. As shown throughout time, it appears we have yet to master these skills, and we wind up yearning for more time or more endurance to reshape our legacy in later years. The paradox is overwhelming, forcing us onto the compliance treadmill that keeps us generally on the straight and narrow while stifling creativity, progress and internal growth. Sometimes or most of the time we swallow the bitter pill in order to shave off trials and tribulations associated with breaking out of chained traditions.

I have no observations that moves us closer to resolving the riddle.
I do however have some commentary about two forces that are usually discussed in gentle terms, friendly forces that ease the challenges of the exciting climb to the summit from where we can see where we came from, and guide us gently through the descent where we hope to settle at base camp to talk about all our achievements, in hopes of convincing them that our route was the right one. All of this if only we give in kindly to them, without resistance, passively and amicably. These forces are natural, human and part of the equation of life. I don't believe they are as friendly as they are portrayed. They are interwoven into life's fabric and they become an essential component of the blanket we use to shelter ourselves as the days get colder, in the wintery quarter of our presence on earth.

Mother nature and Father time. Amazing how their public relations agents even gave them both benevolent and revered status by assigning them paternal monikers. Making us feel like they are part of our family, trustworthy and intent on advancing us to a better place.

I think they are the ultimate Trojan horse embedding themselves in our bodies, minds and spirits, only to slowly spread like a malignancy that leads us to the ultimate holocaust, the destruction of humankind. Take mother nature always portrayed as a playful winged creature powdering life with sprinkles of fairy dust after which everything seems greener and smells fresher. She solidifies the illusion that as long as we care for her, we shall be cared for in kind. Father time is portrayed as a benevolent figure born with a diaper on January first and wisely walking off the year's calendar on December 31st. This is done as if to contain and cloak the ravages he dispenses in his relentless eternal tick tock attack on our lifetimes. Together they play the most deceiving slight of hands, intended to lull us into their lair, asking us to give up gracefully the youthful indiscretions that defined us and made us relevant. These two con artists steal our importance in society pushing us off the treadmill with the promise of an afterlife where neither appear to play any significant role. Just think of the deception. Mother nature delivers the infant, squeaky clean, powdery fresh innocent and free from responsibility, helpless and totally reliant upon others to achieve the next level. She sneakily provides us with all the necessary elements to breathe, drink, eat and thrive. She makes us feel invincible, with rubbery bones that never break, skin that always regenerates and enough energy to tackle every daunting task that we are faced with.

Then we grow holding hands with her, listening to her advice and admonitions, believing blindly in her altruism, convincing others to follow her, dancing behind her like rats behind the piper. It's not long before you realize this lady is no lady at all. Playful at first she seems so innocent and loving, until the first subtle yet definitive assaults. The tree that sheltered us from rain and suspended our childhood house, collapses in a pile of timber after it's struck by lighting, either of which can snuff you out if you cross them. The earths waters rise and fall as she warns "prance at your own peril". The gentle breezes become violent killers randomly plucking her children and churning them into netherworlds. The warm comforting crackles of the nourishing and warm fire, explode into wild orgies of destruction at the drop of a match. The solid earth we tread on giving us a gravity platform will spontaneously tremble so recklessly,it brings all her children to their knees begging for forgiveness for transgressions never committed. The nourishment provided by her kindness slowly offends and degenerates our organs rendering them inefficient, obsolete or both. The skin wrinkles, the muscles ache and the mind fades. The more we are encouraged to pursue our dreams, the more she seems to impede the efforts. It is almost as if she is lying traps in the labyrinth that has no exit, and the reward, when reached is staled by our absence of zeal and vigor.

We go so far and try so hard, only to realize that the prize, is half figment of our imagination and half truths. She is ultimately uncaring of our half fulfilled hopes that scream for a little bit more time. Which brings me to him, Father time. Always present from the inception and promised to be there at the end. Always on time, like clockwork marking it's passage by benign celebrations where we eat cake and blow out candles to signify another year of accomplishments and hopes for the future. He encourages you to look at times past making your past life a living and breathing being,always at your beck and call to assist you in the next endeavor. He is a distant friend in your early travails, and we seem to not see him or worry about him as the summers last forever and the things of youth are seemingly perennial. But don't mistake his fatherly complacency. He is much more evil than the kindly clock we believe him to be, ticking happily at the beat of each step we take. He is a con artist, a deceiver, a liar, corrupt and corrupting. How ironically he plays with our memories, taking us instantaneously to other places in the past where we feel the emotions are vividly in our reach. He gently glides you past those years that are so fulfilling and reminiscent of better circumstances,while covering the face on his watch as if to say, "don't think about me, you will always have me by your side".

Then one petrifying mirror morning you discover the rouse. We are face to face with a stranger, a distorted apparition that looks nothing like you remember, and bears the scars inflicted by her, Time's ally in the battle against you. And when you try to time travel, the memories are not quite the same, and mostly only serve as an anxious reminder of what was, and no longer is. As if this were not humbling enough, she robs you of the ability to reminisce by dementing the memory process and erasing any cogent thought that may help you figure out, how you wound up where your at, and how to cope with this strange unreal world. As we are conned into believing that she is all embracing and he is the keeper of happy times we are slowly yet systematically awakened by their evil plot, first by making you believe in their selflessness and then, once you do, kick out the underpinnings of the structure we call our life, sending it careening down into a dark eternal place where even her sunshine can't reach, and his hands no longer mark any passages.

At the near end All thats left from the solid rock you depended on, is sand slowly dripping into the bottom half of his iconic instrument. So there you are, wasted tired confused and weary. Battle scars are abundant and grotesque for all to see. The young ones coming up from behind never believing they too will be here one day, smirk at how irrelevant you are in their world . All you have left are morsels of love and companionship parceled out by the loved ones you touched in life.

And sadly toward the end, all that is consistent are the foes . Mother nature decaying the last few fibers of hope dragging us to the finish line regardless of stature or station in life. She does so independent of good or bad works, and uncaring of half fulfilled hopes that scream for a little bit more time. Simultaneously father time, is rapidly counting away the few remaining minutes, sadly flashing better days before your eyes. They both embrace each other congratulating themselves on a job well done. One more for the eternal record . We appear to be always concerned about the date the world will come to an end.

Sadly it ends every second of every minute of every hour of every day. The third enemy of the triad, "Death", ends the world for you.

Mark. Fall of 010

Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy!!!

It's never been as good as when we didn't have as many choices.
I'm all for going back to basics, who's going with me? =)

Hugs xoxo
Anita

The Heart of a Child

It doesn't matter whether you are a great-grandparent, a grandparent, a parent, or however many titles or hats you wear in your life, don't EVER lose your childish innocence.

I love the child that lives inside of me!

Hugs xoxo
Anita

"SMILE"...and the Whole World Smiles at YOU!!!

There isn't one thing that I've found that is more powerful than a smile.

~ It helps overcome obstacles

~ Opens new doors

~ It's important in our daily lives

~ The most effective method of non-verbal communication

~ It's contagious

~A sign of hospitality and confidence

~Helps gain people's trust

~Brightens up your mood

~Triggers smiles in others around you

~The most sincere gift you can give

~And IT'S FREE!!!!

So what are you waiting for? Go make someone SMILE!!!

Hugs xoxo

Anita

Don't even think about it...

Just DARE TO DO IT!

ATREVETE!

Hugs xoxo
Anita

Destiny

Meet me at the corner of Dream and Trust...

Shine

We really can do anything if we want to, we just have to want it bad enough!

Hugs xoxo
Anita

As a New Year begins...

~May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs, and your stocks not fall and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.

~ May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastroenterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber, and the Internal Revenue.

~ May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere during rush hour in less than an hour, and when you get there may you find a parking space.

~ May this Yom Tov, find you seated around the dinner table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends, ushering in the Jewish New Year ahead.~ May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them.~ May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may your check book and your budget balance, and may they include generous amounts for charity.

~ May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your partner, your child, and your parent(s).

~ May we live as intended, in a world at peace with the awareness of the beauty in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous part of ourselves.

~ May you be blessed with every happiness, great health, peace and much love during the next year, and all those that follow. Amen~

With love,

Anita, Ilana & Josh

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

And since I'm the Beholder, I say this is Beauty!!

Unchained Melody

Dare to Dream ! ! !

Lifted

We never know how one simple caring action can impact the lives of many creating a domino effect, I like to call it "The Power of One".

Refreshing, well thought of, creative and inspiring.

Go make someone smile!

Hugs xoxo
Anita

It's Not This, It's That

"Knowing what to do, has not made me wiser.

Knowing what to say, has not made me smarter.

Getting what I want, has not made me richer.

Giving what I give, has not made me poorer.

Suffering so much pain, has not made me sadder.

Eating what I love, has not made me fatter.

It's embracing my pain, and being relentless.

It's following my dreams, and not holding resentments.

It's paying with love, and opening my heart.

And staying strong when all fails, and never falling apart."

~@nit@~

Hugs xoxo

A Celebration of Love

Today is Valentine's Day, a day chosen to "Celebrate Love" and though we would all like to have someone special to celebrate with that may not always be the case.

I remember when I was in elementary school, I used to look forward to this day; in those days we had to give cards to everyone in our class and I'd spend days preparing for that. I'd give the best cards to those friends I loved the most, I tried not to be too obvious with the boy I had a crush on at the time, but he would get the best lollipop, and I left my least favorite for those I didn't care for that much, but I'm sure that especially those who didn't expect it felt loved.

I remember running home at the end of the day to read each card I had received with exciting anticipation and how surprised I was at how some of my friends felt that they could not otherwise express.

So why not tell your family, friends, co workers, neighbors or anyone in your life that you care about them and make them feel as special as you would like to feel, And while you're at it, don't forget to 'LOVE YOURSELF'. When we love ourselves there is more of ourselves to give away.

I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day every day!
Hugs xoxo
Anita

Uniting the World through Music

This is a fantastic video that demonstrates that Music has no frontiers. A profound and emotional lesson for all mankind.

Puts a BIG smile on my face!!!!
Go make someone smile.

Hugs xoxo
Anita

Finding blame...

My dear father-in-law is very proactive. He loves to stay on top of important issues around the world, especially those that have to do with wars because he experienced them first hand.

But the beauty of dad's involvement is that he speaks his mind and sends these articles to newspapers around and they always get picked up and published. I'm sure that at the very least he makes a lot of people think, and some might decide to get involved in being part of the solution and not the problem.

This article in particular hits very close to home since in the next couple of months I will be fulfilling a dream that I've had since I was 17 yrs. old, and that is to move to Israel. I guess I'll get to see first hand what goes on there. Meantime I'm very excited moving forward with my dream.

It's your fault Israel...

by Harold Shaffer

I made it known to some of my friends that Israel will be condemned, cursed and blamed for the latest turmoil that took place on the Gaza Strip.

All you did Israel was to defend your country and citizens from constant rocket attacks from the Hamas that control The Gaza.

You were nice enough to warn them if they didn't stop you would retaliate; you even warned the civilians to leave the area. Unheard of in all the conflicts I've been in and have read about.

Israel you're surrounded by millions of people that would dance in the streets if your nation and all your population was wiped off the face of the earth. All you did Israel is do what every other country would've done in the same situation.

After the Twin Towers went down we sent a couple of hundred thousand troops over to the Near East to chase the bad guys. Same thing, you have a right to defend your nation that was built on the bones of 6 million innocent men, women and dear children that were murdered in cold blood. Didn't hear all these anti-Israel countries trying to stop the Holocaust. Israel you are not aggressors, you are DEFENDERS!!!

Good Luck!

Tis that Season Again!

It doesn't matter who you are, where you are or what you celebrate this season, what matters is that whatever you do you do it with JOY and PASSION, and make it contagious so you can also bring HAPPINESS to others Over and Over and Over again!

From my little family to yours, blessings and hugs everyone xoxo

Ilana, Josh and Anita

Don't bury me on Friday Morning...

This was written by my handsome and youthful 92 yr. old Father in Law! That's why he is still so young and vibrant, because he lives his life with humor.

Love you Dad xoxo

"I had to take my wife to the hospital last week. While being examined the first words she spoke to the doctor were "I got to get out by Thursday, got a beauty shop appointment Friday".

Fellows, you're wasting your time taking them to doctors, picking up prescriptions, taking them for MRI's, CAT scans or X-rays. Forget about doctors' appointments, just get them to the beauty shop. That's the best treatment.

I told my Rabbi, "When I die, don't bury me on Friday morning, my wife goes to the beauty shop on Friday morning."

Harold

My Birthday Suit...

My birthday suit doesn't fit anymore. What happened to my body? What happened to the suit? It used to fit so tight, smooth silky supple, wrapped so tightly that it made me look like a little sausage.Then it grew when I grew, filling and stretching around every milestone, bulging with me, allowing me to keep my belongings comfortably sheltered and offering me protection from the wear and tear of daily fulfillment.

You never seemed to care how I treated you. I burnt you, skinned you cut you, abused you with unhealthy diets and customs knowing you would always bounce back. And then one day you seemed awkward, uncomfortable, not quite what I was used to.

I don't know when it started happening but it did happen slowly almost imperceptibly, until one mirror morning I couldn't believe my tired eyes. What devastation, my suit no longer fit. It sagged in the wrong places, melted off of old chronic fixtures, and showed harrowing evidence of the battle. Scared, blemished and unforgiving. Unrecognizable except for the reminders of times past, not unlike the marred surface of an ancient tree who's only history can be found in its rings.

My suit is abandoning me, reluctant to regenerate once more, becoming more of a hindrance than a companion, apparently wanting to fade off the mannequin before its put away into storage. I'm sorry my friend. I took you for granted, and now I expect you to fit like yesterday. Maybe a trip to the skin tailor for a rejuvenating nip and tuck to delay the inevitable.

No, I think will gently give in and shed you in time. Thank you for standing with me throughout the battle. You were there for the good and the bad. Ill try to be gentler on you. Stitch up the gaps, soothe the abrasions, and prop up the stance not unlike Dali would his timepiece.

Hang in there as you always have. Be assured you will only be retired alongside me when Father Time and Sir Isaac Newton quit.

Marco

Get Happy... Your Life is Right Now!

"Your life is right now! It's not later! It's not in that time of retirement. It's not when the lover gets here. It's not when you've moved into the new house. It's not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it's not ever going to get better than right now--until it gets better right now!"

Excerpted from a workshop in Silver Spring, MD on Saturday, May 11th, 2002
Abraham/Hicks

The Diaper

Its amazing how time distorts perspective. Emotions change as time transpires. Take the diaper. At first the excitement and anticipation we experience when we first wrap the silky smooth skin of our newborn in the first of an infinite pile of disposable gem catchers. Because after all, our treasures can only create gems.

They're so cute and soft and loving. So defenseless and dependent, a bundle of dreams, hopes and unfulfilled expectations. We are at their beck and call, all day, every day. Their cries are angelical, their odors pungent but heavenly, their regurgitations a long awaited sign that we have patted them long enough to resume their feeding. How effortless the otherwise daunting tasks, always finding eagerly awaiting family and friends who trample over themselves in the hopes we would allow them the honor of changing their full diaper. How we cling to that fleeting period when our heirs are hopelessly clinging to our every blink.

We are sadly joyful when they stumble away from their potty and graduate sigma cum-laude.

Fast forward eighty years. All accomplishments behind us. Our future is measured not in years but by the sweeping second hand.

How ironic. The diaper is the same but different. No one standing in line to change it. No longer are the contents cute. We will no longer hear rushing footsteps eager to clean the soiled wrapper. The skin no longer soft. The rashes no longer soothed. The cries no longer heard. The anticipation is no longer for the first step but for the last breath.

The diaper full cycle.

Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World...

I often wonder if I read that phrase somewhere, or made it up in a moment of solace and despair. I just remember thinking one day that I felt as if I was 'Parallel Parked, in a Perpendicular World' because I can't see life the way most people do.

I have spent the past 5 years of my life getting to know my inner Source, and came to the conclusion that I was right all along, I'm definitely "Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World".

In these past 5 years I discovered that I had no idea how life worked for the first 52 yrs, so can you imagine all of a sudden waking up at 52 and saying OMG you gotta be kidding me, I was just doing it the way I was taught.

OK so I say well I'm a bit beaten up and exhausted, I put a LOT into my life and it failed me in many ways, but I ain't quitting now that I figured out how it works. 'Lets Make Life Happen on Purpose.' this time.

So I get all excited, put on my rugged boots, some comfortable jeans, I know I have a long haul here because the more I read, the more I realize how much I need to learn.

I get bombarded with information, it comes from so many different sources, and every one of them claims to be the best one. And of course I want to learn all of it so I can mold my destiny the right way this time, but it gets overwhelming when you keep on reading that so many people claim to know just the right secret. And the one thing that they all have in common is that if you don't learn their secret, you'll never be able to mold your destiny the way you want to.

So I rise up to the ocasion and I go to the seminars and take on the courses, read the books and listen to the tapes and that's not easy because you have to earn a living and you have responsibilities to fulfill, and I'm still sitting here behind my desk thinking "I know all of this but what's the secret to getting it faster, I'm missing an element here. From what you tell me I should have gotten everything I dream of and thensome and I'm still two legs short a five legged stool.

There wouldn't be enough hours in a month to do the things I'm supposed to do in a day if I followed everyone's advice.

I mean don't take me wrong, I owe A LOT to all of the people out there who give so freely of yourselves and you are so dedicated to your cause, my admiration and outmost gratitude, I'd be even further behind without you, but in the very humble opinion of a simple, caring, middle-aged Mexican/Jewish/American and soon to be Israeli woman, I actually believe life is very simple, a lot of people resist change and everyone goes their own way, there is way too much negative energy out in the world for it to work in harmony. You can try to make a dent and you guys are doing an awsome job at that, but the negative energy still permeates the air and it gets tiring to be constantly pushing against it. Seems that most people rather suffer than change.

I've said this many times, we all have a talent, a gift, something we are passionate about, we ought to give freely of our gift to others who need it, since we love doing it anyways, and then others can share their gift and we can all have everything. Do you see that ever happening?

If everyone did that we wouldn't need meditation and there wouldn't be wars because we would be in a constant state of serenity and zest for life instead of so much turmoil and chaos, nobody would lack for anything. All of mankinds advances are amazing, but sometimes I think that the more we create the more we destroy.What we need to do is go back to basics and start teaching all of the new generations how it works so we can stop the chaos instead of perpetuating it or contribute to making it worse.

I never want to stop learning and teaching, to me that's what keeps life challenging and interesting, never complacent or boring.

I'm on my own mission, while enjoying learning to live in the moment, no matter what, just for right now I have everything I need, and since now is all there is, I have everything all the time. I guess I'm just happy "Making my Life Happen on Purpose"


Hugs everyone xoxo

@nit@