Sunday, September 11, 2016

When Opportunity Comes Knocking at Your Door...

Its later today, 6:52 am, indicating the Angels are here with me. I wrote about that once, 52 is the number I encounter all the time without me looking for it, now after all these years of seeing it its become more expected I suppose but I notice it appears either when I'm uncertain about a decision and I'm asking for clarity or when I've done something that makes me feel proud and grow. Those are for the most part the two instances when I see it. Today is definitely a 52 kind of a day for me. I swear that if I didn't experience it myself I wouldn't believe it but it is so true that lessons do come to you many times over until you've managed to make the right decisions. I'll tell you a story that illustrates this, something I'm living in this very moment that also happened to me when I was 23 yrs. old, newlywed with a broken English a husband still in Medical School and moving to Chicago from Mexico City where all we had there was Poppo.

This was in 1979. To make a very long story with the end result (the punchline) being the total opposite of what my new husband and I expected to get. We went there to be with Poppo he was my husband's dad and an amazing guy to the end of his days RIP I miss him terribly. They had seen each other over the years but not lived together since he was six. We both loved him so much and were so hungry to be a part of a family that neither of us felt we had in our parents at home for different reasons.

So we took all we had and moved there with so much enthusiasm and enormous dreams, we climbed and climbed and climbed the ladder but we were never able to have that family that we dreamt of creating and you want to know why? because there was a Wicked Stepmother in the Picture. I forgave her because I didn't really want to waste any time thinking about her but then one day I was put in the very same position that we put her then.

If you think I ever thought that one day I would be divorced you're crazy not me, not my ex and I we were like two peas in a pod, we called each other half of a sphere; but when you come from a broken home I don't think you can truly learn how to love unconditionally. Poppo was great but he was weak, he lived in the past and was always devoted to a wife who never wanted to promote for him to have a real love unconditional relationship with his son. So our attempt to become a part of that family was never to be.

Now I'm the Stepmom, now I'm totally on the other side of the coin, I'm still wearing my other shoes, those of the victim of the Stepmom's decision. That decision she made then I believe affected the outcome of not only mine and my ex-husband's life, but the lives of my children and so on and so forth. But did I learn the lesson well enough so now that I'm on the reverse of the coin I can help my husband and his son who is about to move here with us. In the US for the first time in his life, hardly any English and he is 19. Am I strong enough to give up my routine, my lifestyle, or even where I find my dishes?

I did think about it I wanted to be clear and honest with myself and I believe that I did learn enough to be on the giving seat this time, maybe Poppo whom I adored and spoke to all the way to his deathbed not that long ago RIP I always thought of him as my dad and he thought of me as his daughter in law, yet the day he died my name never appeared on any obituary and his now old and ailing wife meant well, they just didn't have it in themselves to be any different, I understand it wasn't personal but it was hurtful to us then, she made it very clear to us she didn't want us around.

I'm very grateful for the opportunity I've been given to be on this side so that I can try to be instrumental in creating a loving family and watching it grow always surrounded by love and possibilities. You never know what life may bring, here is a new son, new beginnings, but what I do know is that I am grateful for the lesson Poppo and his wife gave me they showed me what decisions to make when "Opportunity Comes Knocking at My Door".

Hugs xoxo
@nit@

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