Wednesday, June 29, 2016

You Don't Want IT Bad Enough...

I've had the same challenge my whole life, to maintain a low weight and keep up with an exercise program so that I can reap the benefits it brings to the quality of my life. I've managed to develop the discipline it takes to follow through as far as healthy and moderate eating habits as well as a consistent workout programs, but the challenge is that even if I can hold on to the program for a long time, as soon as something creeps up into my life that throws my routine off for whatever reason, or I'm dealing with something, no matter what, that takes most of the energy I have and doesn't leave me with enough to continue my programmed routine.

I've managed to workout and eat healthy and in moderation for years at a time so I'm not sure what makes it so difficult for me to get back on the saddle once I fall off the horse, because life is unpredictable and we do fall off the horse, especially me who still has to conquer the fear of riding one. Oh how I would LOVE to do that!!!! or Would I?...

Years ago just after giving birth to my son I weighed more than I ever did in my entire life, I had no idea how to handle that because I'd never been at that weight before, and even when I had 5 or 10 lbs. to lose at some point I found that to be so hard for me to accomplish. How was I going to lose all this weight?! I thought it was a very long shot...

I had two newborn babies less than a year apart, I was 38 and chunky at best. I wanted to sleep all day but couldn't and when I couldn't sleep those few minutes in between caring for two newborns I wanted to eat to keep myself awake and feeling alive.

I don't remember exactly how long it was but at least for the first two years of their lives I didn't sleep more than 4 hrs. a day with intervals. I got used to staying awake so I would use my time the best possible way but none of it was spent exercising and that I know for a fact.

I thought I wanted that more than anything in my life, the same way I've been thinking I want it right now and yet the results are telling me that I Don't Want It Bad Enough or I'd have it by now!!! Everything I've ever really wanted in my life I've had it so why not this?

I took some time off and just ate, I forgot how happy being trim and healthy makes me feel and I stopped exercising and ate all I wanted long enough to put me at the unhealthiest point of my life. I mean I have it in my hands to change that, all I have to do is what my daughter and my husband say to me, just put the shoes on and go workout. I must not want it bad enough that I find all sorts of excuses not to start again.

Though there are no excuses why I waited this long to pick that habit back up that allows me to match the way I view and think of myself with the way I look and feel on the outside. That's not me I'm looking at the reflection in that mirror, the picture on the camera, that's not the one I want to be and this is not the way I want to feel for the next say 30 yrs. of my life. I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill, and lot of things to experience, a lot of places to visit and a lot of happiness to embrace in my well lived "Parallel Parked in a Perpendicular World" Life!!!.. But I have to feel and look the part to enjoy it to the fullest.

I DO WANT IT BAD ENOUGH, I'LL SHOW ME THAT :) I know I can, I've done it more than once!

Do you want what you think you want Bad Enough? Ask yourselves that, you'll be surprised of the answer if you're honest enough with yourselves. Nothing can stop you if you really Want it Bad Enough!!!... Go make it happen on purpose, I am...

Hugs xoxo

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